friend too obese for volunteer role....how to explain not suitable....!

[earsup]

A volunteer role has popped up at our local fabric recycle centre, people and shops donate rolls and bits, we sort it out and price it up and put on shelves. not a lot of space between shelves and lots of crawling around on floor to retrieve bits and bending. Obese ...sort of friend wants to join us, she is very thick skinned and quite self entitled, I was just thinking of saying that you need to be quite agile for the role and say no more....She wouldn't be able to get between the shelves and wouldn't be able to bend down etc.

Unless you’re the one doing the interviews it’s not your place to say, I’d let someone else feed it back.

Ask her along to try a shift

Way better than saying anything else...

I am obses, I can crawl on the floor and get stuff from shelves. I think you are making big assumptions.
But invite her for a trial.

And if she can't physically fit between shelves she is either extremely obese or the set up is unsafe.

Tell her she needs to be agile and then leave her to it.

If she can't manage, she'll realise soon enough 🤷‍♂️

I am not being unkind, have visited her at home, struggles to get off the sofa and walk, asks partner to get items from cupboards etc... often trips on pavement when does venture out etc...I think the trial shift is a good idea, there are 3 of us deciding on who gets the role.

Hm. That sounds like a bit of a waste of everyone’s time though. Could you either say you are stiff from all the squirming about required, or say to her ‘let me explain the role a bit more’ and just talk through what you have to do exactly. Or let one segue into the other.

Are you the manager? If not keep your mouth shut. You might want to reconsider your role as friend too.

I am a similar size. I think volunteering is ideal as an increase in confidence can really help with everything.

It may be she can be more visitor focused and interact with people. Or a different volunteering role might be better.

I still manage to teach, but couldn't do crawling/need to manage my energy- but it's worth being given the options when she applies.

It doesn't sound like you like her very much...

Leave her to it, it will soon become apparent she can’t do it.
It would be nice if you could spare her the embarrassment (I saw this as someone who is fat) but it doesn’t sound like you can

Yeah this. Trial shift so she can see for herself if she can manage or not.

This. Skinny doesn't equal agile, obese doesn't equal not agile.

Lizzy is obese, she dances,sings and plays a wind instrument for the whole set.

Let her find out for herself.

Ah love the lizzy typo 😂

Tbh it is not your place to say and you should recuse yourself from the decision making,

Are you sure she's your friend? It doesn't sound as if you like her very much.

If she struggles to get off the sofa and to walk her issues are more than obesity.

Maybe if she really wants to do it but realizes she can't it will inspire her to lose weight?
You never know🤷

Why should OP recuse herself from the decision making?

I think offer all applicants the trial day and see how they do. Then proceed from there so it’s completely fair.

its doesn’t sound to me like OP dislikes the friend she’s trying to convey the friend won’t take hints.

I had a friend like that and you could not politely decline anything she was determined you should do. It was difficult navigating the friendship as being direct could be construed rude but politely hinting just did not penetrate. It was exhausting.

All you can do is explain the full range of duties in the role, offer her a trial shift and then ask how she feels.

Also bear in mind she's volunteering. If she can't do some aspects of the role does it matter? She's still donating her time for the bits she can do. If you're able to pick and choose from volunteers (deciding 'who gets it') you're in a fortunate position.

Ahhh I forgot fat people can’t move.

you have no idea how her skill set could be used until you give her a shot, not all four of you need to be clambering around on the floor - she might be massively beneficial in a slightly different way.

Agree trial shift. She might be just fine.

Also bear in mind she's volunteering. If she can't do some aspects of the role does it matter? She's still donating her time for the bits she can do.

I manage a team of volunteers and this is not really how it works. We advertise roles and they need to be able to do everything the role requires.

Mostly because risk assessments, training and organising shifts etc takes up a fair bit of time.

I agree with those who have said let her do a trial shift.

Good on her for wanting to improve her life. Can you be a supportive friend?