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Original poster

Bit of a rant, new housework job on day of rest.

25 replies

Treaclemine · 30/07/2023 09:18

I've a friend I need to put up for a while, and he creates tasks I never had before. This one I have just noticed, is brown staining running down the underside of the bathroom basin. Slightly raised, and investigation reveals it has set hard. I think it will respond to the sort of cleaner which has mild abrasive in it after a trial run. It doesn't to Dettol big strong wipes. I suspect it has something to do with hair dye. But I'm going to have to take a chair in and sit facing it and scrub with a sponge and cleaner and it will take ages. The lip of the basin is perfectly clean, so I suppose he wipes that. Find Marigolds. It's not a job for Sunday, but it needs doing. Grr.

OP posts:
Wailywailywaily · 30/07/2023 09:22

Why are you doing his housework? Point out the problem to him, show him where to find the cleaner and leave him to it.

Drews · 30/07/2023 09:22

Why can't he do it?

Hoppinggreen · 30/07/2023 09:23

If he creates tasks surely they are for himself?

LadyMacbethssweetArabianhand · 30/07/2023 09:25

He should be doing it! It's his mess. You are going to have to tell him that it isn't acceptable to leave something to set and stain. Hand him the rubber gloves and the cleaner. If you are being kind enough to let him stay, he shouldn't get away with mess

treacledan71 · 30/07/2023 09:26

Dried in Dye really hard to get off. I wld let it fade if its not too noticeable. I tried everything to get it off lino and thought ruined buy it did fade.

VinEtFromage · 30/07/2023 09:27

I wouldn't ask a guest to do it. It's just one of those (annoying) things when people stay.

@Treaclemine you're right, it's not a Sunday job, but it's a 'it'll be harder if left' kind of job, so...

I hope it's not as bad as you think! Could you ask him to give it a wipe under there when he dyes his 'tash/pubes??😂😂

GrazingSheep · 30/07/2023 09:30

Another day, another MN martyr

RebeccaCloud9 · 30/07/2023 09:34

His mess, his job. The end.

WinterDeWinter · 30/07/2023 09:58

What is he dyeing??!

Anoisagusaris · 30/07/2023 10:00

Even if you are to one who is going to clean it, it doesn’t need to be done today. What’s going to happen if you leave it until tomorrow? Absolutely nothing.

Magneta · 30/07/2023 10:03

Don't. Spray it with something and leave some loo roll on it for an hour or so, and then see what wipes off after that.

I take your point but if he is a long term person being put up, rather than a weekend guest, I think it's ok to hand him the cream cleanser and ask him to do one or two well defined jobs

YarisKaris · 30/07/2023 10:12

Am I reading this differently to everyone else? I read it as OPs house and the fact she has someone coming to stay means she's noticed jobs that need doing in her home that wouldn't normally register,

Hoppinggreen · 30/07/2023 10:14

YarisKaris · 30/07/2023 10:12

Am I reading this differently to everyone else? I read it as OPs house and the fact she has someone coming to stay means she's noticed jobs that need doing in her home that wouldn't normally register,

She says he creates tasks she never had before so I don t think so

ApolloandDaphne · 30/07/2023 12:11

YarisKaris · 30/07/2023 10:12

Am I reading this differently to everyone else? I read it as OPs house and the fact she has someone coming to stay means she's noticed jobs that need doing in her home that wouldn't normally register,

That how I read it.

Clymene · 30/07/2023 12:12

Why is he dying his hair in your home? Confused

JorisBonson · 30/07/2023 12:14

I have no idea what's going on here.

Sux2buthen · 30/07/2023 12:23

@YarisKaris I agree, I think OP is noticing things to do rather than he's done anything

Original poster
Treaclemine · 31/07/2023 09:23

I'm leaving it till Tuesday when he's out, so there's no clash with needing the bathroom. It's a long story why he's here, but his mother could not train him, since she did not keep her house well - a hoarder. And she left him in a fragile state, so things have to be approached carefully. She blamed him, age 2, for wanting to be carried when she was pregnant, thus causing the death of his sister (I'm not sure if stillborn or just after birth) and has continued in that vein until her own death. She also had a complete fantasy about her housework. I spent ages while she was in hospital for CO poisoning clearing the hall of layers of newspaper, hiding decimal currency and bought cleaning stuff she'd never used, just bought again, to be met with an accusation of creating a mess and never having done Dom Sci at school. No, says I, I did real science, like your son. (I read in Hypatia's Daughters how Dom Sci was introduced as a sop when they took real Sci away from girls when men realised you could make money out of it so it had to be for boys.) Apparently I should have been taught to mop the floor and then put down newspaper to dry it. I did not say she must have missed the lesson about picking it up again. Bit my tongue. Anyway, he has no idea of living in a clean house and a guilt thing which I do not want to add to. Little by little. It's his head hair he dyes, and he is now wondering if he should stop. Sense is creeping in.
I don't think cream cleaner is going to work on a down facing surface. I'm going to try Astonish from the kitchen.

OP posts:
Original poster
Treaclemine · 01/08/2023 06:53

And just as well I left it. He did it again last night, so there's a bit more round the side.

OP posts:
bellissimiaow · 01/08/2023 07:06

Yeah, leave it till Tuesday.

MrsCarson · 01/08/2023 07:17

Tell him to stop dying his hair at your house, he doesn't clean up he's a minger. He can get it dyed at the barber/hairdressers somewhere else. Don't let him make excuses and don't make excuses for his lousy upbringing.

Ragwort · 01/08/2023 07:22

Why are you making excuses for this person ..is he a relative? just politely say 'it's not appropriate to dye your hair in my bathroom and please clean up the existing stains. Whatever mental health issues he has you don't need to be pussy footing around him and possibly putting up with permanent damage to your home.

RichardsGear · 01/08/2023 07:26

Put a good amount of neat bleach on loo or kitchen roll and stick it to the stain on the underside - leave it for a few hours then wipe off.

WilkinsonM · 01/08/2023 07:29

Are you helping him learn independence skills? If so, show him how to clean it and help him do it, but don't do it for him when he's out.

Original poster
Treaclemine · 04/08/2023 12:55

Well, a spray with that Blue Magic stuff from Ideal World (shame it's gone), then a wipe with a J-cloth soaked on it, softened it, then a cloth applied cream cleaner, and then one of those sponges with an abrasive surface. It does shift. Now he needs to catch me doing it. Then he will apologise profusely and do it.
And he does the washing up, feeds himself and so on. Carries the shopping up the stairs, and the laundry. He wants to help.

OP posts:
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