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Help me survive holiday with in laws!

11 replies

jaychops · 30/07/2023 00:18

On day 4 of a 10 day all inclusive holiday with DH, our 2 young children and parents in law. Their room is on the other side of the complex. We've been on holiday with my parents before, and I know I shouldn't compare, but not only were they a huge help with the children, they were so much fun to be around for both us as adults and for the children. I agreed to this holiday as DH wanted to - but even he has said it won't happen again!

Just to note I am fully aware that they are our children and our full responsibility. However before the holiday ILs said they couldn't wait to spend time with the children and wanted to take them off our hands for periods of time to give us chance to have some time as a couple (not a request from us).

So far all we have had is complaints and sarcastic comments from MIL for pretty much everything we say or do. Examples off the top of my head:

  • They are disappointed that we are going back to the hotel room at 10pm because our young children are tired, they thought we'd stay out later.
  • They won't get in the pool because it's too cold. We move to another pool, this one is too deep. Our resort is a little windy so we have a day at the beach - it's too hot.
  • They won't play with the children at all.
  • We asked if they minded having the children for half an hour so me and DH can actually talk for the first time. They did reluctantly with a comment about how they are our children not theirs.
  • Had a lovely family photo which I was really pleased about. MIL just commented on how obvious my sunburn is.

I could go on and on, these are just a few examples.

Other than prosecco from breakfast onwards, tell me how I survive this next week!

OP posts:
SeaToSki · 30/07/2023 00:21

Can you limit the time you spend with them, just be off and busy with the dc..”see you at lunch/dinner/tomorrow”. If they arent going to help with dc anyway, you might as well just cut and run to make the most of your holiday with the dc

jaychops · 30/07/2023 00:24

I've tried but they always appear! They say they want to spend time with us but then act like they don't want to be there!

OP posts:
AssertiveGertrude · 30/07/2023 00:25

I would never go away with in laws !
but you are there so could you book a day tour (or three)

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Lovepeaceunderstanding · 30/07/2023 00:28

Just a thought, how about you talk kindly to them and explain that you’re struggling a bit with the way things are going. Maybe ask them how things are for them and then try and make it work for everyone. These across generations holidays are potentially fraught but they are also (from my experience) an absolute joy.

toomuchlaundry · 30/07/2023 00:28

How old are the DC? Could you hand them over and run!

Sewingdufus · 30/07/2023 00:30

Bingo would seem the obvious answer. You and DH both compose a bingo board of insults and wait to see who wins!

But seriously I would limit time with them. Tell them what you are doing, they can then join you, or not. Don’t let them spoil your time.

toomuchlaundry · 30/07/2023 00:30

@Lovepeaceunderstanding you may have different in-laws/family. Extended family holidays are not always absolute joy.

clarebear111 · 30/07/2023 03:53

I don’t understand why they would volunteer to look after your children and then go back on that, but each to their own. Do they just enjoy having a drink in the evenings or something, to the extent it’s all they really want to do? I know some people can be like that on holiday.

No suggestions I’m afraid, but bundles of sympathy.

Somewhereovertherainbowweighapie · 30/07/2023 04:00

In a situation like this your period or diarrhoea are your friend. Try and have some time with the family once in-law turn up you need to quickly go back to your room.

Ohyousillydivvy · 30/07/2023 04:09

Book kids into a kids club and go out for the afternoon by yourselves and your pills can entertain themselves. See them occasionally for a meal & if pils complain the repeat your mil's insult back to her.

Say 'mil, but you said it was too much for you that's why we booked dc into club etc because you don't have the energy and as you said they're not your kids' every single time the moaning cow opens her mouth.

SophieHope7 · 30/07/2023 04:54

Book an excursion just you 4 and frame it as giving them a break

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