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Original poster

Childcare & shift work

30 replies

forsythg · 28/07/2023 22:31

What do you do?

We’re hopefully TTC soon, I do a 9-5 and my husband works shifts which he knows months in advance. My role is hybrid and involves some full days at office and some work from home, and some where I’m just in the office for mornings etc. DH shift pattern often means he is off work either the weekend and Monday and Tuesday and working Wed through Fri, or off Wed to Fri and working the other days. Like I say we know it in advance but it’s different weekly which throws up some issues.

We’re comfortable, live humbly & are by no means big earners. I can’t believe it’s over £1000 a month for a full time childcare place - not that I even think it’s necessarily ideal for a little one to be there 5 long days. It’s eye watering and would really affect our financial situation!

Both sets of parents would help and live 3 and 20 miles away respectively, but I don’t think either would want to commit to regular help as they would understandably find it a tie. Haven’t actually asked them, think it would be weird to before even getting pregnant right? I do think from conversations with my mum that she would be up for, say, on my work from home days coming over to my house all day or till DH wakes up after a night shift.

We’ve bandied some ideas about inc -

  1. Me dropping a day but condensing some hours (possibly doing 33 or 34 hours over 4, if allowed)
  2. Finding a childminder or nursery understanding of shift work - if one even exists ??
  3. Reciprocal childcare with another local family in a similar position

Interested to know what you do as I am a forward planner, or try to be :-)

OP posts:
Original poster
forsythg · 29/07/2023 13:47

TeeNoG · 29/07/2023 13:31

My husband works shifts (nurse), and similarly to you, I work a 9-5 pattern.

I took a years maternity leave, and returned on a 3 day week, with DS in nursery for those days. After a year, I went up to 4 days a week and DH agreed a flexible working pattern which meant he still worked shifts but had a set day off each week for childcare. Now DS is at school and I work 30 hours a week over 5 days - I can work from home for most of it so this works nicely for pick up and drop off etc, and I just go into the office on days DH is off.

Nursery was an excellent experience for our DS. It was a fairly small nursery and our DS had the same key worker throughout. He also made great friendships, some of which have continued as they now go to the same school. Our original plan was for my parents to have DS one day a week, but my mums health didn't allow this by the time he was here. To be honest, it was probably a blessing as nursery allows really certain childcare - no calling off at the last minute, people turning up late or asking to changes days etc.

Nursery is expensive, but not for long. It was a really positive experience that I wouldn't change for my DS. Good luck 😊

Thank you

OP posts:
Original poster
forsythg · 29/07/2023 17:44

RC1234 · 29/07/2023 09:33

  1. Take the full 12months + holiday as maternity if you can. You will not get that special time back.
  2. The 5th day of nursery is usually half price as full time people get a discount.
  3. How does your company treat part timers, ask around and find out. From experience- if you go to 4 days a week, unless the company finds a 1 day a week worker to pick up your work (unlikely), you will be expected to cram all you existing work into 4 days for 4 days pay. From a work life perspective, a 3 day part time job with a job share is most likely to work as your workload is more likely to remain proportional to the hours paid and you are less likely to burn out. If they say no to 3 days a week/ job share then if you have to go to 4 days at least do compressed hours, because that work is still going to need doing (and at least you will be being paid).
  4. Keep the grandparents on standby for covering sick days. There will be lots of those in the first 6 months of nursery. Nurseries do not permit poorly babies, so lots of days with no childcare (which you will still have to pay the nursery for).

Thank you didn’t know about the discount, just hoped to avoid full time as many weeks my DH is around 3 out of 5 weekdays and maybe on the other two hed be waking up from nights but I work from home and if say my mum came over for the morning while I worked, DH would then wake up around lunchtime and be on hand.

OP posts:
Thisismynewusername1 · 29/07/2023 18:22

forsythg · 29/07/2023 17:44

Thank you didn’t know about the discount, just hoped to avoid full time as many weeks my DH is around 3 out of 5 weekdays and maybe on the other two hed be waking up from nights but I work from home and if say my mum came over for the morning while I worked, DH would then wake up around lunchtime and be on hand.

Show quote history

Honestly, if both of you work full time then realistically you need a full time nursery place.

it may seem like a waste to pay for full time when your dh is actually only on day shift on 3 of those days, but from experience it’s incredibly hard to impose that kind of routine, and there’s no resilience or down time.

it meant I could drop dc at lunchtime, go home, get ready for work, put a load on and be at work on time. I wasn’t waiting for dh to get in for handover, and dh wasn’t pressured to leave early. Factor in running late, traffic, and things can get incredibly stressful.

finding time for housework was impossible. Weekends rarely had any downtime as well as I would be at work 3/4 weekends.

it allows for holiday and sick- what if your mum’s Ill, or wants to go out for the day, your dh’s on nights, what do you do?

i was shattered with nights, no way could I have got up at lunchtime every day in the middle of a run to take care of dc. Think about it- work 9-7, bed at 8/9 if he’s lucky, up at 1, childcare until 7, then back to work. It’s not sustainable.

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Original poster
forsythg · 30/07/2023 15:32

@Thisismynewusername1 that is true, we’re just trying to save on costs but what you’re saying makes good sense

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Original poster
forsythg · 30/07/2023 20:02

Sorry to bump, just seeing if anyone else is around with any suggestions

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