I am half English, half from another country, and spent post of my childhood and teenage years in a third country. I speak all three languages but am not really trilingual - English is my mother tongue and while I am fluent in the other two, I don't speak them like a native speaker, and am considered a foreigner in both places.
I’ve lived in London for almost 30 years now, am divorced, and my youngest dc has one year of school left.
I am not going to rush away as soon as they finish school, as they and their siblings still need a base to live in / return to while they establish themselves, study, etc… Though they also have their Dad not far away.
I wouldn’t know where to rush away to in any case, but I love the countryside and the sea and I love the other languages I speak. I also live quite an isolated life here in London, partly through what happened during covid, partly through the passing of time I guess, so apart from working and my dc, leaving it would be no great loss – except for being very familiar with my area and liking having access to some of the (free) things London has to offer.
Living abroad might mean that I am away from my dc but on the other hand I don’t know where they will end up living. Finding work abroad might be problematic. I am not a high earner. I love how international London is, but if I stay here I am worried about stagnating which is kind of what is currently happening apart from work and dc.
Not sure what I am asking really – but I am wondering how others have resolved these different things – allegiances to different places, wanting to experience other things once their dc have grown up etc, but also wanting to be near them… Added to which I love both the other languages I speak – but would like to experience living in my other country again and properly. The two countries are next to each other – could I maybe live close to the border and go backwards and forwards to experience both languages etc? Sounds crazy.
I guess it’s about feeling time is running out and not wanting to stay in one place. But it doesn’t mean that the other places are utopias – in fact one of them definitely isn’t. It’s also about a sense of the possible opening up for me again, except that I am a lot older so that might stack things against me in terms of opportunities. But I also want to be near my dc.
I am wondering how others might have reconciled these kinds of things.