Posted twice, first one was posted on the wrong forum!
This is quite boring, so I will try and keep it short.
A parent from the kids school (and for context, someone I thought of as more than just an acquaintance but not a exactly close friend) has been quite unpleasant over fb messenger tonight.
I've subsequently blocked and removed from all social media/phone contact seemingly because she didn't like my response.
All of our children were taking part in a multi sports session after school. A mixed primary school age casual club, of all ages and abilities.
It isn't competitive, it is just about building confidence and learning skills, with a short game at the end to practice the skills learned during the session.
From what I can gather from my kids, her older daughter was being dismissive of my younger daughter and stopping her from having a go of the ball - despite pleas from the rest of her team to give the younger ones a chance to have the ball.
I was told every time my youngest tried, her oldest would swoop in at the last minute and take the ball away. (They were on the same team during the game).
My older daughter (on the opposite team from them) decided to teach her younger daughter a bit of a lesson after this happened a few times, and made numerous tackles on her. Not hurting her in any way, only legitimate tackles as part of the game.
My oldest admitted she made a comments about doing this deliberately, and told her she should think about being kinder to more vulnerable participants.
She is protective and sensitive about her younger sister and I suppose she wanted to play on their vulnerability as a younger player, as she had done to her little sister.
Anyway, my kids didn't mention this on the walk home. And I would usually get a running commentary about anything significant.
I didn't know about any of it until I got a fb message from this parent telling me a similar story but with her youngest being talked about as a victim and my oldest being "nasty and unkind", and "tackling and laughing" at her youngest.
She said her youngest told the sports coach during the session, but she wanted an apology for her youngest and for me to deal with this so as to teach my oldest right from wrong.
I kept it brief. I said I'd spoken to my kids and their version was different. I said as I wasn't there and it was mentioned to the sports coach during the session, I'm not sure what else she wants me to do. I wasn't concerned about it and didn't feel there was anything more to be done. I wasn't rude or dismissive, but clear that I didn't feel any more action was necessary.
She was unhappy that an apology wasn't forthcoming and was quite critical of the fact I wasn't going to "teach her right from wrong".
I didn't reply any further at that point as I was making tea, dealing with general chaos around the house. And to be honest I was a bit unsure what to do or say and was taking some time to think.
By the time I went back to my phone after cooking I had a few more messages telling me my response was very disappointing and not to bother contacting her again. And then found I was blocked on all platforms. (I only looked as the chat screen had changed significantly indicating something along these lines).
My youngest daughter has learning difficulties and a disability, she is quite fragile and low in confidence at the moment. Coping at mainstream but needing support which the school provide perfectly.
The sports coach is fully supportive of my youngest daughter attending and is always complimentary of her efforts and growing confidence.
I am actually proud of my oldest daughter for sticking up for her sister and showing solidarity. I'm reluctant to do anything else when as far as I can see this is just standard kid stuff.
They were both probably less than perfect, but it happened at a time when neither parent was there and the responsible adult did what they felt was necessary (which I'm assuming was to encourage them to continue playing, as it wasn't mentioned at pick-up).
I don't always side with my kids. I am the first to tell them if they need to apologise or correct their behaviour.
But I am completely baffled!
Basically what I am asking is, if something minor like this happens at school/a club, and the staff don't mention it, then there isn't any need for parent wading in is there?!