Wtf is "showing up for or yourself"

[Imdrivinginmygetawaycar]

Just that. I keep seeing this and I don't really know what it means and google isn't helping.

I understanding showing up as in physically turning up. So showing up for a friend would be an odd way of saying turned up at their performance or something.

But "showing up for your self?".

In an ad I saw something along the lines of "Well doen for taking the time to show up for yourself". I don't get it 🙁.

Oh it's just trite pseudo psychological bullshit trotted out by people with nothing useful to say to people who haven't really done anything worth congratulating.

Ha that would be my current take on it too 😆.

But curious as to what they actually mean. Also "showing up" for friends/yourself as if it's something different than being there. So wtf are they trying to say?!

Adriene from yoga with Adriene on YouTube says this often (I thought she’d invented it, didn’t realise it was a common saying 😳) I take it to mean do something just for yourself. It won’t matter to anyone else but it’s good for you.

Yoga with Adrienne says this a lot, yes it’s annoying.

It means prioritising/making time for yourself. It’s self-care basically.

I think it means taking care of yourself - not putting your own needs last, and taking your own needs as seriously as others. But that's just a guess based on how I've seen other people use it.

It means being present and aware. I’ve seen it used about sobriety, “I showed up for my life when I stopped drinking.”
It’s a when your life’s on hold for something out of your control.

'I think it means taking care of yourself - not putting your own needs last, and taking your own needs as seriously as others'

Yes that's how I understand it too. I think it's good advice

I guessed at what it meant and a quick google seems to say I was on the right lines. What were you googling?

Self care, do things to help your mental health, don’t be too hard on yourself etc.

Bit of a wanky term but good advice many of us should apply to ourselves.

Yes, slightly sickly phraseology, but actually good advice.

This.

It's pretty easy to understand.

Showing up for someone = generally means putting in the effort, physically or remotely, to prioritise them.

Showing up for yourself = not forgetting self care.

Both simple to understand, and twatty to attack as a concept. I had to drag myself out of a right pit once (since you struggle with metaphors OP, no, I was not physically down a well) - I didn't use that sort of language, but I don't begrudge people who do.

It's one of those phrases I think you think means something but on closer inspection of what it actually means it falls apart.

I've always taken it as doing something for yourself or doing something that is good for you. Particularly in contexts where it might be hard or unpleasant.

I don't think it's just running yourself a bath and pouring some wine, but making yourself go to a gym class for instance. You don't want to in the moment, but if its aligning with a goal (like getting fittier for instance), you should show up for yourself and get on with it. The theory being after your gym class, you feel pleased you went and glad you showed up for yourself.

I feel it goes in the same box as referring to 'future me' and 'past me', when you do something that doesn't benefit you in the moment, but you're glad you got it out the way earlier.

I thought it meant like “advocate for yourself”. As in, nobody is going to do it for you so if you want something, it’s on you to make it happen.

I might be wrong though.

I haven’t heard it but I’d assume it’s doing things that are good for you in a long term way, advocating for yourself, and also not blowing off what’s important to you because you are too busy doing things for other people or your self depreciation is out of control.

All these sayings are annoying when they are being trotted out everywhere but it’s a lot better than me-time. A lot of women could do with doing more of the above.

Wasn't meaning to be twaty and wasn't posting to attack it I just didn't get it. I'm fairly literal in my understanding sometimes so when Google said "self care" I couldn't see how cleaning my teeth/getting dressed /having breakfast = showing up for yourself as that's not the context it seems to be written.

Yes the showing up for your life type thing or showing up for friends - obviously showing up for friends doesn't mean cleaning their teeth/etc but doesn't seem to mean normal turning up to events either.

So I was trying to understand what the concept actually means. Sorry if its one of those things that's obvious to some posters! I often think when you use a phrase a lot it's hard to understand why others don't get it ( like moving from souther England to Scotland or vice versa and hearing regional words that "everybody gets" but you. Or being a bit older and younger generation using a term you don't get!

I think it’s like if you force yourself to run every day because you want to achieve a long term goal, you’re “showing up for yourself”. It’s like putting in the effort for yourself.

It doesn’t really make sense.

It means being serious about prioritizing your own health and wellbeing and self care.

Wasn't meaning to be twaty and wasn't posting to attack it I just didn't get it. I'm fairly literal in my understanding sometimes so when Google said "self care" I couldn't see how cleaning my teeth/getting dressed /having breakfast = showing up for yourself as that's not the context it seems to be written.

Dont believe you weren’t trying to be ‘twaty’. as you literally agreed with this ⬇️ that another poster wrote and put a laughing emoji.

Oh it's just trite pseudo psychological bullshit trotted out by people with nothing useful to say to people who haven't really done anything worth congratulating.

I also don’t believe you weren’t being ‘twaty’ because if you google there is loads of stuff explaining what it means and giving examples.

🤷🏻‍♀️

Well you can think what you like! But it isn't the case.

In my reply I said that's what I currently would take it to mean and explained that's why I wanted to further understand.

I also explained I've googled and the self care doesn't quite relate to the contexts I've seen it.

We are literally living our lives all day every day so what is the difference showing up makes?! I can understand the poster that says about consciously being present as I am aware how we do lots on autopilot.

But the self care (as i found when googled) - getting dressed/going to the loo/having a shower - morning routine stuff. That doesn't seem to be what people mean when they want people to show up! It was a yoga ad I saw it on (not adrienne!) and I couldn't quite grasp what it meant.

Hence posting here as mn is a good place to explore topics!

Those of you who use the phrase/are more familiar with it when would you use it?

Also see "holding space" for a friend or yourself. Thats another one I'm seeing more of recently (probably the same circles) and I'm not quite sure of. I run a few groups and give people time to talk and listen to them so maybe that's holding space. But it seems to be a phrase used for friends too?

Much as I enjoy Yoga with Adriene, I often fast forward through the first 3 minutes and turn off the last minute to avoid all the motivational chat 🙄

No, it's excruciatingly annoying.

I've heard it maybe once or twice and just thought "you must believe in souls" and all that.

It implies that it's possible that sometimes you're going about your everyday life but your self is NOT present, as if it's gone off on holiday or something while your body is right there. Total tosh.
I'm not religious so can't stand the turn of phrase.

I quite like the idea about being serious about prioritising self - often, particularly as women, our own identity gets muddled with being mother/career person.

But would you say someone focusing on their career is showing up for themselves? Or someone who is super into ling nails/tans/ or otherwise high maintenance. That's tons of literal self care so someone who is "high maintenance" stylenand beauty wise would be "showing up" for themselves?

Or is it when you take on a new self improvement project (like turning up to yoga above, or doing your Garden because you want to?)

But would you say someone focusing on their career is showing up for themselves?

Yes definitely if that’s important to them.

Or someone who is super into ling nails/tans/ or otherwise high maintenance. That's tons of literal self care so someone who is "high maintenance" stylenand beauty wise would be "showing up" for themselves?

I suppose so, if it it makes them feel more confident as a person.

The line is a bit blurry.

So showing up for yourself is something you do intentionally- so isn't an all day everyday thing.

Would you say "I showed up for myself this morning when I got ready to go to work/go out" though? Or is it more for tricky things or for fun things like yoga.

I am sure it shouldn't be as hard as I am making it to understand!! But I've never heard it in real life other than onljne so can't get the context. (I am rubbish at languages too but that could be coincidental!)

She's American so I wouldn't worry about the language problem.

She's also a bit religious I think so probably believes in souls / hippy stuff.