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Original poster

How do I manage sickness and maternity?

104 replies

bernieaa · 26/07/2023 22:26

I started a new job and got pregnant straight away.

Not the ideal situation as baby father is ghosting me but I'm positive about the future.

However I've had morning sickness until week 21. I'm currently taking sick leave to help recover and now I've developed panic attacks.

The panic attacks are related to my job. I often can't manage a full day of work
And lay on the sofa or just go to the toilet to close my eyes.

My bloods are all ok and my pregnancy is going fine. It's just being pregnant is making me tired.

I'm thinking of going on maternity at 36 weeks, 37th week as holiday and baby hopefully will comes 40 weeks.

Do I still accrue holiday whilst on maternity and can i take this years now? Eg if I have 15 days holiday before April can I take them before I go on maternity? I need the rest.

What if I get pro rata holiday from April 2024 - October 2024 (so say 20 days) can I get this paid out and quit my job like I would do if I was quitting anyway?

OP posts:
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UnsungShero · 27/07/2023 13:46

bernieaa · 27/07/2023 09:47

I work in the office as well. What can they really do?

Show quote history

Never hire women of childbearing age again, I suppose.

Apart from that, if you’re not performing well at your job and it’s not due to pregnancy (which it’s not from your employer’s POV as you’re telling them you’re working your full hours), they can look at dismissal on capability basis.

Long process and a path they’re highly unlikely to go down with a pregnant employee, but stranger things have happened.

Honestly OP, I get that you feel like you’re in a tough situation, but there’s no excuse for skiving off and expecting your employer and colleagues to put up with it.

Are you under the care of a GP? Are you doing everything you can do in terms of regularly taking prescribed medication etc to ensure you’re as well as possible?

Original poster
bernieaa · 27/07/2023 14:08

@UnsungShero I'm sorry you have the wrong impression of me.

I make up the work during the weekends and evenings. I put a lot of pressure on myself to do well at work and I know the brain fog is due to pregnancy and it's frustrating. It's making me anxious at work because I feel dumb and I have had other time of day - days here and there.

"What can they do", is exactly that, what can they do? I'm pregnant and "taking it easy" and having a longer work day with more hours is only helping so much.

And what am I supposed to do - quit a job and have no money? All because of a pregnancy I didn't plan and have no control over.

My gp/midwife have done tests and everything is fine. It's just being pregnant.

I've come on this thread asking for advice because I've never been in a position of being so incapable, for so long.

OP posts:
Unexpectedlysinglemum · 27/07/2023 14:12

I remember it so well, I have a high pressure job and can normally concentrate and plough through pieces of work and emails and meetings but the utter exhaustion of pregnancy makes working at the pace impossible. You can only do what you can. I think as they know you're pregnant they are very unlikely to risk a tribunal

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Original poster
bernieaa · 27/07/2023 14:51

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 27/07/2023 14:12

I remember it so well, I have a high pressure job and can normally concentrate and plough through pieces of work and emails and meetings but the utter exhaustion of pregnancy makes working at the pace impossible. You can only do what you can. I think as they know you're pregnant they are very unlikely to risk a tribunal

It's just my self esteem that's taking a hit as well :(

OP posts:
Tannedandfake · 27/07/2023 20:10

bernieaa · 27/07/2023 00:16

@Tannedandfake I will have been working for 8 full months of the holiday year so I will have some holiday accrued.

That wasn’t what you asked tho, you asked if you could ‘owe’ work holidays.

Original poster
bernieaa · 27/07/2023 20:45

@Tannedandfake I can take my whole entitlement for the holiday year before I take maternity

OP posts:
OnceAgainWithFeeling · 27/07/2023 20:46

Why were you concerned about owing leave then?

Original poster
bernieaa · 27/07/2023 21:17

OnceAgainWithFeeling · 27/07/2023 20:46

Why were you concerned about owing leave then?

I was told this information in email today. I honestly didn't know we got paid holidays.

OP posts:
greenteaandmarshmallows · 27/07/2023 21:22

bernieaa · 26/07/2023 22:44

It's from week 36 if you are pregnancy related sickness they can start your maternity.

What I'm proposing is I take week 37 as leave and give week 37 Friday as my last day?

Sorry I'm not understanding the holiday. I need time of now - say every Wednesday for the next 6 weeks. Can I "owe" them holiday when I go on maternity as our holiday year is the financial year.

Sorry I'm really confused.

What happens if I don't go back to that job and accrued holidays?

No. You cannot use holiday accrued on maternity leave before you go on maternity leave

dementedpixie · 27/07/2023 21:27

Are you saying they will let you take all your holidays prior to maternity leave before actually accruing any of it?

greenteaandmarshmallows · 27/07/2023 21:30

bernieaa · 27/07/2023 09:47

I work in the office as well. What can they really do?

Show quote history

Discipline proceedings for misconduct? If you tell them now they will have to make adjustments for you being pregnant. If you don't tell them and they realise then they can Discipline you for lying.

Original poster
bernieaa · 27/07/2023 22:02

dementedpixie · 27/07/2023 21:27

Are you saying they will let you take all your holidays prior to maternity leave before actually accruing any of it?

For the holiday calendar year (April) yes.

OP posts:
Original poster
bernieaa · 27/07/2023 22:05

@greenteaandmarshmallows as stated previously "what can they do" means what can they do to help my pregnancy related tiredness and performance. Not a lot! So the only option is for me to loose my job.... or as the weeks go on, it gets better (hopefully). Hence why I'm asking for solutions. One solution is one day a week paid holiday on a Wednesday to break up the working week.

OP posts:
drpet49 · 27/07/2023 22:18

OnceAgainWithFeeling · 26/07/2023 23:52

You may find that your reference states you were employed for eg 20 months but only actually worked for 10 months.

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This

drpet49 · 27/07/2023 22:21

“And what am I supposed to do - quit a job and have no money? All because of a pregnancy I didn't plan and have no control over. “

^Well you did have a choice. And you chose to continue with the pregnancy.

HowcanIhelp123 · 27/07/2023 22:38

drpet49 · 27/07/2023 22:21

“And what am I supposed to do - quit a job and have no money? All because of a pregnancy I didn't plan and have no control over. “

^Well you did have a choice. And you chose to continue with the pregnancy.

So people have to either have easy pregnancies or be rich enough to not work? I was told I'd never be able to have a baby, I got pregnant and I was sick as a dog, lost over a stone in first trimester. You think I shouldn't have continued with my miracle pregnancy, possibly my only chance of having a child, because I couldn't afford to give up work so I had to just do my best?

A pregnancy is only a few months out of over 40 years most will be in work. A few months out of several years you may give that company a lot. It's protected for a reason, just like disabilities. OP might need to half ass it for a few weeks to get through, I'm sure she's given several years of effort in work, and will after baby has arrived.

Original poster
bernieaa · 27/07/2023 22:53

drpet49 · 27/07/2023 22:21

“And what am I supposed to do - quit a job and have no money? All because of a pregnancy I didn't plan and have no control over. “

^Well you did have a choice. And you chose to continue with the pregnancy.

You mean I didn't murder an unborn baby?

OP posts:
Original poster
bernieaa · 27/07/2023 22:55

@HowcanIhelp123 I've half assed it for the duration - because I was told "first trimester is the worst".... and that's dragged to 22 weeks now :(

OP posts:
LIZS · 28/07/2023 03:53

bernieaa · 27/07/2023 22:05

@greenteaandmarshmallows as stated previously "what can they do" means what can they do to help my pregnancy related tiredness and performance. Not a lot! So the only option is for me to loose my job.... or as the weeks go on, it gets better (hopefully). Hence why I'm asking for solutions. One solution is one day a week paid holiday on a Wednesday to break up the working week.

Well you can ask, as an adjustment, to effectively work four days and use one al for remainder per week. But that will use up approx 3 weeks of your leave before you get to ml.

greenteaandmarshmallows · 28/07/2023 05:03

LIZS · 28/07/2023 03:53

Well you can ask, as an adjustment, to effectively work four days and use one al for remainder per week. But that will use up approx 3 weeks of your leave before you get to ml.

Show quote history

Yes try this. Or to work shorter days. Near the end of my pregnancy I used my accrued holiday to take every other afternoon off. It worked for me and the company though.

Original poster
bernieaa · 28/07/2023 10:17

They aren't adjustments, it's agreeing when my annual leave when is being taking. It's literally the only thing I can think about doing :(

OP posts:
LIZS · 28/07/2023 10:24

But it is an adjustment. You are effectively requesting to work a four day week offset by al, due to your condition. It is not a permanent change nor is it likely to be a work pattern generally agreed for al. You may be referred to occupational health, or could request to do so to review the ongoing situation.

Original poster
bernieaa · 28/07/2023 12:37

LIZS · 28/07/2023 10:24

But it is an adjustment. You are effectively requesting to work a four day week offset by al, due to your condition. It is not a permanent change nor is it likely to be a work pattern generally agreed for al. You may be referred to occupational health, or could request to do so to review the ongoing situation.

Sorry but how is an adjustment when everyone gets annual leave? I'm just asking for them to agree for the a/l to be taken in this pattern.... I need to take the a/l at some point...

OP posts:
LIZS · 28/07/2023 12:52

No the change to your working pattern, and thereby reduced workload is the adjustment. You could be asking for a four day week with one day unpaid but if you want to maintain your income for the smp calculation use paid al. You would not get extra paid leave as an adjustment but could use your existing leave as you suggest. It is unlikely any other employee is allowed to do so on a long basis hence it would be classified as an adjustment.

OnceAgainWithFeeling · 28/07/2023 12:54

Would you be asking for this pattern if you weren’t pregnant? No? Then it’s an adjustment due to your pregnancy.