Estrangement- Any tips or resources to help children.

[Heybearu]

There has been some disruption in our family which means that my sister and her family have chose to go non contact with our family. Previously their children were quite a big part of my children's lives.

Basically this has sadly occurred as I made an anonymous safeguarding referral about substance abuse which didnt stay anonymous. I was trying to do the right thing but can understand the hurt caused and her decision.

My children have started to ask about seeing their cousins. I want to try to reduce the harmful impact if I can. It's going to be a loss and grieving process. I want them to know it's not our decision to separate them but I also really dont want to create more stress and animosity pr pain for anyone. For example if the boundaries then change in a couple of years I don't want to have created any barriers to them reconnecting well.

I'm not sure if I'm making sense. If anyone has any insight or advice on how I can best support them through this difficult situation I would be very thankful.

I would be honest in that you have had a falling out and your sister has asked for space and no longer wants to be your friend. Don't give them the finer details but maintain that sometimes friendships fall out and you have to respect that they don't want to see you, this may change but it may not. Explain if you have apologised but that the apology doesn't have to be accepted.

It will hurt your children😫, without doubt, so you will need to be patient and consistent. More than anything don't explain why you fell out and bad mouth your sister.

Thank you. I think my oldest will ask a lot as shes so close with her cousin. She will feel fobbed off but that's better than coming across the adult themes too young I think. What an absolute mess :(

Anyone with experience of this kind of situation? All advice welcome. I'm hoping to speak to them about it on Saturday.

One last bump