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Original poster

Do your parents still live in your childhood home?

72 replies

KingKhazi · 26/07/2023 17:20

The thread about how many times have you moved inspired me.

My parents divorced when I was 3 and haven't seen my dad since. I've never really had a childhood home as we moved house every 2-3 years. My mum has lived in 3 properties since i Ieft home. I find it quite sad really as i don't feel particularly comfortable at my mums house as its not mine if that makes sense and I feel like a guest really. I never stay over and only really spend a couple of hours there. She feels the same at mine.

OP posts:
RegainingTheWill2023 · 26/07/2023 18:41

My parents lived in their 2nd home together for 58 years. I had my first birthday there and my younger brother was born in the house. Dad died in that house in 2019 and Mum followed him in 2020.
It was really lovely going back there and watching the grandchildren grow up, visiting the same house. It was a 2nd home to my dd.

Toddlerteaplease · 26/07/2023 20:22

@Caipirovska my parents did exactly the same thing. I had to sleep in sofa cushions on the floor as they had no spare bed.

bryceQ · 27/07/2023 08:05

No we moved lots as a child so my parents could renovate houses. Then they divorced.

It doesn't really make me sad as I don't feel a connection to one family home.

I'm glad they are both happy

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MadeInChorley · 27/07/2023 08:16

No. The house I remember was sold when my parents divorced, years ago. It was nothing special. We moved around. My DM is now in a tiny flat and very house proud, so visiting with the DC’s is a stressful.

thatsn0tmyname · 27/07/2023 08:21

Mum has lived in the same house since 1968. They'll need to carry her out of it in her coffin.

hexsnidgett · 27/07/2023 08:43

No, parents split when I was little. Dm has been in the same house since the 90s, I did live there briefly, but it's not home.

It's a romantic idea going to the family home, but I see the other side of it with friends who have 30 year old dc still coming home and expecting to be looked after, moving in for years at a time. They can't think about retirement or downsizing because of the pressure of maintaining a house big enough for everyone.
A friend of mine goes home to his mum all the time he's-53! She does his washing and cooks. He acts like he's 21.Sad

Kimfluencer · 27/07/2023 08:46

No. When my sibling and I moved out at 18/19, my mum and her partner (now husband) moved in together. That was 25 odd years ago, so it feels like a comfortable house to go to and be in, but I’ve never lived in it so it’s not ‘my home’.

catrescuelady · 27/07/2023 08:51

Yes. Mum still lives there. Lost dad 8 year ago. It's only a small terrace so couldn't downsize really.

WhatHaveIFound · 27/07/2023 08:56

No, they moved when I was in my 20s so I don't feel any connection to the house they now live in. I didn't ever stay there until last month when I had to care for my dad.

DH's parents moved every few years so again no family home.

mamaduckbone · 27/07/2023 08:59

My mum still lives in the house I grew up in and that she and my dad moved into when they got married. It's a bit much for her now really, especially the garden, but as she's said many times the only way she'll be leaving it now is in a box. (She's 90!)
It was truly awful when my ddad died and there was such a huge absence there, but now it's kind of comforting - his shed is still in the garden and things he made are still around the house.

Stokey · 27/07/2023 09:01

We lived in loads of different houses when I was growing up and then my parents divorced in my early 20s. One of them lives abroad and the other is NC.

DH's parents also divorced when he was in his teens but his mum and stepdad have lived in the same house for the last 20 years and that definitely is a special place for us and my DC. They're going to have to sell it as it's big and in the middle of nowhere and we'll really miss it.

We've lived in our house for 11 years now since my youngest was a baby and it's nice seeing my children have the experience of growing up in one place rather than moving around constantly like I did.

ThePatriarchyIsNotAboutHorses · 27/07/2023 09:01

My parents moved house after all their children had left home, so the link to the property was long gone.

I feel totally comfortable in the new house, but it is very much their house not my home.

BoogLoaf · 27/07/2023 09:01

Yes, still in the same house for over 50 years. Just my dad there now, mum passed away 16 years ago.
It's like going back in time, lots of stuff in the garage from childhood, like a time capsule.
Sometimes when I visit I find it stifling though, my mum should be sat there too, it's sad.

MrsWaterMelon · 27/07/2023 09:03

Not my childhood home but my parents still live in the house we moved to when I was 11 - I’m 37 now, so they’ve been there a long time.

SpiralAgain · 27/07/2023 09:06

My mum still lives in the house I lived in since birth. It's a lovely house in the countryside and I will be heartbroken when she sells it. I feel sad that I haven't been able to provide the same for my children, as our house is only small and we are outgrowing it already. First world problems I know!

EmmaPaella · 27/07/2023 09:12

My mum still lives in the house they bought a year before I was born. My Dad died there. I may not stay in my kids’ childhood home and feel a bit sad about that but it can be restrictive to be emotionally attached to one house.

Sagittariusrising · 27/07/2023 09:27

Parents bought the house before they married and it still had gas lamps and an outdoor loo. Dad was a builder and added an extension to the kitchen and moved the bathroom upstairs. It's only a small terrace but mum now lives there on her own as dad died in the house three years ago.

It will be a massive wrench to sell when she dies. My younger brother was born in it and I go back at least once a month to see my mum and sleep in my old bedroom. It now needs tons of updating though. My house is my 'home' now though.

Dinosauratemydaffodils · 27/07/2023 09:33

Dh's do. It's too big for them now but fil will not consider downsizing. Our kids love it though, massive garden, fruit cages, climb able trees. They like recreating old pics of dh and his siblings up trees etc.

My dad was in military so we didn't really have a "family home", just lots and lots of different houses and flats on a temporary basis.

ManchesterLu · 27/07/2023 09:36

My mum does. We moved in 30 years ago when I was 2. My parents split up 9 years ago, but Mum bought my dad out and he bought something smaller. So she's still there.

She does occasionally talk about downsizing and it honestly breaks my heart. I know it might sound stupid, and you can give me the 'bricks and mortar' line all you want, but I get really panicky about not being able to 'go home' ever again.

DP and I are actually trying to get funds together so we can buy it when she finally does decide to downsize though, as it'd just be absolutely perfect for us. So I'm crossing everything that we manage to get to that point before she decides for sure.

AnnaBegins · 27/07/2023 10:04

No. They moved when I was 20 and at university abroad, I recently discovered they never even stored my stuff securely (I never lived in their new house or had a room there) so I don't even have any of my childhood memories. I moved in with my now DH when I returned.

Diamondshmiamond · 05/02/2024 00:03

Came across this old thread as just having to sell my parents home to pay for dfs care home fees. They moved there 50 years ago when just married, and me and siblings all born there. Dm died 10 years ago.

I'm absolutely gutted to be selling it, and still wonder if we should have moved in. Its very close to me and I'll have to go past it watching new people there which I'm dreading. It always feels like home to me, more so than my own. Dp is unsentimental and his parents moved around quite a bit when he was young, so I just don't think he gets it.

I want my children to have a forever home, but dp wants to move, and there are downsides to our current house. I sometimes wonder if I struggle with change as I had never experienced much growing up.

EmmaPaella · 05/02/2024 19:31

Diamondshmiamond · 05/02/2024 00:03

Came across this old thread as just having to sell my parents home to pay for dfs care home fees. They moved there 50 years ago when just married, and me and siblings all born there. Dm died 10 years ago.

I'm absolutely gutted to be selling it, and still wonder if we should have moved in. Its very close to me and I'll have to go past it watching new people there which I'm dreading. It always feels like home to me, more so than my own. Dp is unsentimental and his parents moved around quite a bit when he was young, so I just don't think he gets it.

I want my children to have a forever home, but dp wants to move, and there are downsides to our current house. I sometimes wonder if I struggle with change as I had never experienced much growing up.

I could have written your post @Diamondshmiamond

We won’t stay in my kids’ childhood home and that makes me sad. DH is also completely unsentimental about moving for pragmatic reasons and had a similar experience to your DH. But, there are downsides to our current house, not least the increase in mortgage rates having made it much less affordable.

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