What does your pre-teen do while you WFH in the holidays?

[longestlurkerever]

This is the first year I haven't booked any clubs for dd1 (12). She's not home alone as one or other of us is WFH each day but we don't have much bandwidth while working to interact with her other than occasionally answering yes/no to snack requests and a short lunch break. Am worried she's just moping around the house doing very little which is ok for a few days but the summer is quite long and I actually think she could get pretty depressed just loafing about, although we do have a holiday booked in the middle though that's just with family too and pretty remote. I've tried to prompt her to make plans with friends but she's very reluctant/socially anxious and claims they're all away. They're probably not all away but they're newish friends and I don't think she feels confident to initiate things. Should I chill out or try and direct her activities more?

My DD12 (nearly 13) absolutely won't go to any organised holiday club, so she has to entertain herself while we work. I'm a shift worker, so it's never 5 days in a row, and I hybrid work, so she's on her own a bit too.
I leave a list of chores she can do to earn extra money. If I'm wfh, then she can bake (not keen on her using the oven when home alone as she can be a bit away with the fairies). She goes off on bike rides with her mates.
She does also watch a lot of TV but hopefully that will reduce if it stops bloody raining...

Well I've gone rogue and suggested a playdate to mum of her old primary friend, who has accepted and suggested cinema trip in return. So that'll help a bit. Just popping off bike riding with mates sounds dreamy!

I didn't use to direct at that age as such. I might suggest here's some money, get the bus into town and shop/swim/cinema.

But I have three DC so they would go together if no friends around. I do think it's a good idea to get out of the house several times a week. Park for a play/chat; coffee shop for Costa with friend; go for a walk; go for a bike ride; go for a run (these can be done alone obvs).

Are there any sports clubs that offer holiday coaching that would be good - local tennis club or such?

Re friends, can you ask her to sort something out with a friend or you will do it with the parents, which is much more embarrassing. If you think she does have friends that are good enough to ask over then I’d give her a gentle push.

There's all sorts of sports stuff available - free tennis, basketball, athletics and so on. I just know she'd rather die than rock up to something like that alone. And she hates sports anyway so even if all her mates were going it'd involve bribery. I am not wanting to torture the kid - just get her out of the house a bit. I think I'll go for the pressure to make a social engagement. In fact I can hear her entering into negotiations with DH now. She'll text a mate in return for a birthday present early [laugh]

I've actually been trying this for a while now but to no good effect. She had a difficult transition to secondary school but more recently has talked about having friends she likes and gets on with v well but she's still not met up with anyone other than her bestie (who she knew from primary school) outside school. I've kind of played it pretty softly and just been happy she's got people to hang out with at school but I do worry that'll slide if she doesn't see anyone all summer, especially if others are getting together.

Honestly, I don't organise my 12yo's time for her really.

She has a friend around sometimes and she plays out. She reads, does art, watches tiktok and plays minecraft. Her 10yo sister is around, so they do things together (very often minecraft/roblox).

A large amount of time is spent whatapping friends.

Completely understand it about the sports clubs. Mine isn’t sporty either and will not want to be in any sports camp. Also about friends, only if she’s got friends good enough to invite over. Otherwise it might make her feel bad about having no friends. It is tough.

We are lucky to have lots of leave between DH and me over the summer. So she’s in guides camp for a week, and then a holiday with us for another week. The other days are just going to be having days out with us and her younger sister.