Best friend hurting my DC

[Duckduckie]

My DC has made best friends with another child. There has been repeated instances of them hurting my DC at school over the last year.

The best friend has also been in trouble for other things at school and just generally seems a bit of a handful. Both parents are lovely but admit they are hot headed which has rubbed off on their DC.

Best friend seems nice enough, a bit intense. My DC really like them and keeps going back to them even though they are making them cry, bruising them.

I need to careful what I say as I don’t want my DC to run and say my mum said x,y.

I did say today that my DC should tell the best friend that if they keep hurting them they can’t be friends.

They are KS1 for reference so still quite young. Any advice on what to do?

You are there to guide and teach your child. I would teach them that friends do not hurt each other and that they are entitled to enjoy play without being 'punished'.

A good point to make is to ask "did you hit" then "So they hurt you but you have never hurt them, I would tell them I do not want to play with them if they hurt me" and introduce daily discussions about behaviour they witness - good and bad and reflect on it.

This helps with choosing good friendships and seeing that they are not there to facilitate others lives, they exist for themselves.

Other things to consider with your child:

If you play with a rough child does that limit other friendships etc
If you are always being dominated and playing the games others want you to are you truly enjoying the game, or do you enjoy feeling 'chosen' by this person
How do your friends react to you playing with other friends - true friends want you to have lots of friends etc

Keep this up thru childhood and teenage years and it gives them confidence. My 2 have both come to me and discussed previous good friends pressuring them to vape, smoke, swim in dangerous places etc and it is very important to have that pathway open without fear of punishments, guilt etc

@littleripper some good advice thank you.

I always ask if they did anything to provoke the behaviour I definitely don’t assume my kids are angels. But you’re right i should then say I wouldn’t want to play with them if they hurt me for no reason.