Social Services

[user1485088534]

Hi,

Today I received a call to say that a referral has been made from school.

I work at the school where my children go. The referral was made by DSL after a colleague had said that I told her about my partner using a class A drug which is not true.

The lady who phoned me today said the allegation read as:

Ongoing domestic abuse, use of Class A drugs whilst children were in the house as well as, bruising to myself.

I discussed with the lady that there is no ongoing domestic abuse, I said we argue sometimes but the children are all unaware of this and may hear slight bickering like normal families however never hear shouting.

I have three children and he has one who lives with us full time.

13,12,10 and 9.

She asked about bruising and I said that I may have bruises on my arms and legs but I bruise easily and always knock myself.

She said this will now be referred for an assessment. What will happen now? How do I prove there is no domestic abuse and that I do not use drugs nor does my partner.

I'm so scared.

My partner and his daughter have been under social services for years ago, for drug misuse whilst he was caring for her.

How much does this colleague know about your domestic life?
Could DC have said anything which has been interpreted?
Could this colleague have a grudge against you?
They have raised quite a few different issues.
If you agree to a visit then just answer their questions honestly and calmly.
Hopefully they will close the case if they see no issues

Sounds very stressful, really hope things get cleared up as quickly as possible op, and of course your partner can have changed and be clean / rehabilitated now, how depressing that some posters on here don't believe people can change

It's certainly possible with hypermobility syndrome which my dd has and EDS which I have. We both bruise ridiculously easily, my dm was questioned by teachers about it when I was a child! I'm sure without any medical conditions some people do just bruise more easily than others 🤷‍♀️

Hi OP I recently had an SS referral. We consented to it all and agreed to go on a CIN plan. We worked with the social worker and worked on the suggestions she made. Everything was going great and we were due to be taken off the plan.

Then, the CIN plan was almost turned into an S47 because someone at nursery made a malicious allegation about us. The (fairly inexperienced) social worker was almost taken in but when I told her it wasn't true, she referred it up to her manager, who had seen it all before and saw what we were saying added up. In our case, the manager reviewed the evidence and decided there was no need for an S47.

It's scary when you get a referral and as you can see from some of the comments on here some people think you're guilty if a referral has been made, which doesn't help with reducing the stigma of accepting help when you need it, but social services will assess all the evidence and make decisions based on everything they see, not based on one person's opinion, and they deal with malicious allegations all the time. And remember, they have to follow a process.

If they're experienced, they will sift out who is absolutely bullshitting about their drug use and DV, or minimising it, and who is genuinely not doing those things in the first place.

I hope this helps. Listen to @Jellyx she's talking a lot of sense.

I suppose what I was trying to say (sorry, I'm not very concise) is that even if you are known to social services (as we were, albeit for totally different reasons), it doesn't follow that they will assume every bad thing said about you is true, and they absolutely won't assume that you are incapable of change/improvement, so try not to worry about your DP's previous issues.

Why did you do a Claire’s law investigation if no DV? If there is no truth to the allegation you have no reason at all to be worried

Can you contact your department lead at school and report the malicious complaint? Have you leapfrogged someone for a promotion? Is there someone to think it could be, are you more outgoing or popular than someone else?

I do also agree that people can recover and be well, despite a previous murky past. Of course it will raise flags when there has been a complaint, but so long as he consents to a drug test they have nothing to show other than a father who had issues and has since addressed these and been clean for 6 years.

Does he attend NA? The heads of this could show he has regularly engaged and there's no concerns.

I would definitely be contacting my employer though. I say this as I bruise easily due to anemia, if I don't take iron for a while I can brush up against something and look like I've been in a boxing ring. A woman who was quite snide at school (a parent volunteer) rang SS and said I was crying about DH punching me, I'd never spoken to her in my life.

Social services absolutely can and will test hair samples for drugs if necessary. Definitely worth offering to do that.

Thank you xx

They will decline the offer. Social work do not have testing kits or labs and the NHS is overworked.
Social work would absolutely NOT request this in this case.

It happens usually when a mother is pregnant and has suspected drug use - usually midwife asks for the sample. But plenty refuse to do it.

Doing drug in itself is not the issue - but to the extent it impacts childrens safety, plenty of parents using cannibas and social work not involved.

Maybe it varies by area but I have definitely been in core group meetings where the parents have been asked to provide hair samples for testing. And even if they decline, offering to be tested shows willingness to engage etc.

Is the person who told someone who knew your ex in the past? Have they seen bruises and put 2 and 2 together to make 5?

I bruise like a peach too. The slightest knock gives me huge bruises. Should see my arm after an injection!

Maybe it varies by area but I have definitely been in core group meetings where the parents have been asked to provide hair samples for testing. And even if they decline, offering to be tested shows willingness to engage etc.

@RenegadeKeeblerElf our area is like yours too, I don recognise @Jellyx experience.

Never done in Scotland and I've been in child protection almost 10years.

It would not be proportionate at all , at this stage, to suggest a drug test. Totally invasive when no risks have been established and no evidence , as yet, that gives weight to the concerns.

It’s done in our area too.

Ive accompanied many young mums to solicitors offices for hair samples to be taken.

A nurse has been present and actually taken the sample, sorry if that wasn’t clear.

Drug users can be sneaky, and while some people do maintain sobriety long term, most do have a relapse or two. Your partner can offer to do a drug test, if he's been clean 6 years he should ace it. You do need to decide on your course of action should he fail though. I'm not saying he isn't sober, but you need to be prepared for either outcome. Once you're an addict you're an addict for life, even if you've been sober 20 years. Does he drink alcohol? It's somewhat of a gateway and even if their issue isn't with alcohol it makes relapse more likely, and increase in alcohol intake is often an indicator of relapse.

As for domestic abuse, usually the bruises speak for themselves. If someone has a load of bruises mid-shin and on the back of their calves at pedal height and claim they just hit themselves with a pedal frequently as commute by bike (and have a bike) - they'll be believed. If a person has fingerprint marks up their arms, on their neck, and says 'i walk into things and bruise easily' ... well that's going to be looked into. A good doctor or case worker will know the difference between the location, size and shape of bruises from accidents and ones from intentional harm.

If there is no domestic abuse and no drug use then I suspect at most they’ll visit you and the children, write up an assessment with No Further Action.

Social care aren’t in the habit of having involvement over one unsubstantiated claim. just be open and honest. I assume school (outside of the one colleague) don’t have any concerns? Or the GP? Any police attendance at your home?

Speak to the Senior DSL in September.

As a member of staff, you have a right to privacy and you should expect your child's safeguarding file to be restricted on a need-to-know basis.

Also speak to HR if you think this was a malicious report.

Drug testing can be requested by CSC, but not during an assessment.

A core group means those children were on a child protection plan. And attending a solicitors office indicates those children were subject to pre proceedings or care proceedings, hence parents having solicitors. Both much more serious than an assessment. There will be evidence of risks and/or unmet needs to progress interventions that far.

Absolutely correct, it was much further along the line than OP and the child involved had already been placed in temporary foster care.

I skim read and was just responding to a poster who said SS don’t carry out drug tests - they absolutely do, but yes not at assessment stage apologies.

Do you have asthma and use a steroid inhaler? That can cause you to bruise more easily.

S.17 Child in need assessment is the voluntary one. S.21 has nothing to do with this.

When are you supposed to have made this comment?

Isn't it suspicious in itself that this has been raised right as the school year ended? Or is it alleged that this conversation only took place on Friday? (I'm reading that English/Welsh schools finished up then).

Hello, could I PM you please?

Many thanks!