Parents of children with SEN/Autism. Question I should know the answer for.

[3bundlesofjoy]

Please ignore my ignorance as I should know the answer to this as I have a boy with low functioning autism. However, as a single mum with no family I can rely on, I have started to worry what will happen if I was to pass away. What would happen to my son? He is 12years old. Depends on me for everything. If he gets impossible to care for (his needs become too much for me to meet/he becomes too violent/I die) would I have to find family to take him in or is there some support from the council to care for him? Would it be free for him or would someone have to pay for his care? How does it work?
I’ve never questioned this before as life has been so busy, but now I worry about the future for him.
His needs are great. He needs 1-1 support and supervision

its really tough being in the position where you have to worry about these things. When I was thinking through how to make sure my DS would be ok if something happened to me and DH, I found the charity mencap a good source of advice.
i think it likely that the LA would be under obligation to support all of your children certainly while they are minors, I would guess mencap will have proper detailed information.
good luck.

Thanks I will have a look at the website.

Surely I’m not the only special needs mum that worries about how her child will be cared for when we are no longer able to do it. Or am I just overthinking it?

I would say that this is a very very common fear.

Sadly, unless you're very wealthy, there is no clear answer. Society places no value at all on people who can't contribute economically, you can see this in how we treat our elderly and poor. It really really sucks.

Keeps me awake at night, working out how to live forever!

Genuine question though, if the poor can’t provide the care for the special needs child/adult anymore what happens for them? If they can’t pay for private car homes etc

There are residential schools and communal living with support

Do you have a social worker? If not the request one and make sure they know your wishes .

You won't have to pay because it's £1000's every week so no one can afford that .

If you died before he was an adult I would think he would go to emergency foster care and then be fostered until he reaches adulthood

I have a son with sn and I plan to find him some here to live when he is 18 because he is incredibly sociable and I want him to do things with peers not two old people ..

Wether I get it or not is another thing . It's a big worry !
I don't want my dd to have him but I would expect her to manage his situation and try and make sure his needs are met .. have you got so won't that could be his advocate ?