Stopping breastfeeding 18 month old

[Homehomehomealone]

Up until recently, my toddler has breastfed all through the night and a lot of the time I'm not in work during the day. We sleep trained her a month ago and she is sleeping through the night.

For various family reasons, I've decided to stop breastfeeding. I'm not totally happy about it because I love it, but the toddler is completely obsessed with me and has started refusing food in favour if breastfeeding and would be attached to me all day if I let her. Everyone I speak to says that their 18 month old just breastfeeds one or twice a day now which I'd be happy with. As it stands,I often have an 18month old scrabbling at my clothes and scratching my chest for access every 2-3 hours and it's too much.

I've tried just offering the breast in the morning and before bed but she still wants it all day long. My husband thinks it's too confusing for her and I should just stop. I've tried telling her 'all gone' but she doesn't understand. I tried doing the 'don't offer, don't refuse' but she always wants it!

I don't know what I'm doing

Also forgot to ask what I should do about food refusal? All the baby will eat is fruit pouches and they are hardly ideal. She will on occassion take her normal food but for the past week or so, she has been saying no to everything but happy in every other way. Any advice would be appreciated. Thanks

I can't offer any advice on the food aspect. But I stopped feeding my similar aged child by reading to book "Booby Moon". It covers milk not being available at night, but water and cuddles are. It took a few nights and then she happily accepted night weaning. I then waited about a week and said no in the day too.

Thank you. she is a very babyish 18 month old and definitely wouldn't understand a book but she is going without milk at night. I'm finding it very stressful with the crying every time she wants to nurse.

I would distract and offer food / snacks throughout the day. I mean always have food on offer when she wants milk. Cuddles are good but wear high tops, keep talking and distract!

this blog is good https://www.drjaygordon.com/blog-detail/sleep-changing-patterns-in-the-family-bed but if you google gentle weaning off breast / toddler there are a lot of blogs that come up.

other thing to think of is to buy a sippy cup together, one that she chooses etc. “big girl” cup etc.

Thank you @Getoffmybirdtable. The only way to distract her is for someone else to take her away. If I'm on my own with her, she becomes furious, pulling my clothes and basically just getting very angry! She will just cry and cry. My husband thinks she is just getting mixed messages as I'm feeding her first and last thing and she doesn't understand that I'm not doing the rest of the day. She has accepted the nighttime situation and sleeps through, pretty much. I never feed her at night now. Tonight we had arranged to go out for lunch and the only way I could settle her was to give her my phone, which I never, ever did with my other kids. While she was distracted I managed to shovel some food in as she watched, but what she really wanted was to breastfeed.

Could you try drawing a few more boundaries around milk? I think when mine were about 2 I started saying milk was just for at home as I became uncomfortable feeding out and about (unless they hurt themselves or needed comforting). Then eventually it was just upon waking, before nap, and before bed etc etc.

At 18m I couldn't distract either of mine away from it so just kept on. If you get desperate you could try and take something to make your milk dry up so you have to drop?

I had a cold when Ds2 was 22 months

Had Lemsip

Dried me up like a prune

I wasn’t actively looking to stop BF but it just “happened”

Did something change around the time she became particularly obsessed? E.g. new nursery, you going back to work, vaccination, teething, start when you nightweaned etc? Just to check if there is a different reason she might be looking for it for comfort, which has a byproduct of the lack of appetite.

@HowcanIhelp123 she was always like this but I just gave her what she wanted. I continued feeding on demand during the day for about 2/3 weeks after nightweaning but, to be honest, she was always obsessed and I just gave her what she wanted. Now I've started saying no to anything other than morning and before bed and she is not happy. Its worse when she is tired.

@ohfourfoxache did you find it helped having no actual milk? As in, was it less stressful having no milk to give?

@llamadrama16 that's the thing, it's such a big difference in maturity levels between 18 months and 2 years. I would happily continue until 2 or whenever if she just accepted that it would just be twice a day.