What 'chores' does your 3-4 year old do?

[Hollyisalrightactuallysorry]

Firstly, to be very very clear I am absolutely NOT advocating a strict list of housework for my DS to do!

BUT we have noticed he's become overly reliant on us for a number of things, shy at parties and quite clingy.

This is absolutely a phase and he's very happy and playful at home with us and his little brother but we're looking to build some resilience and make him feel a bit more independent.

We're looking to join a group activity for him at the weekends but I wanted to pull a little list of things for him to do to show him he's a 'big boy'

My list so far
-take shoes off and put in shoe basket by the door
-hang up coat
-take plate/bowl into the kitchen and put by sink when done
-pull cover over bed when up in the morning

What things does your 3-4 year old do on their own around the house that I need to be working towards. I think we do a lot for him compared to his friends and he's got a bit used to it so would love to create some independence

Thanks

My DD is 5 now but at 4 I expected her to do similar to your list. Also:

Tidy up own toys that she's got out (if it's something I had to help her get out to play with then she was to help me tidy it away)

Get undressed for bed and put her own dirty washing in the laundry basket (and same on the morning, put her PJs in the laundry basket)

Mine is just turned 3 and she can put her shoes away, and put something in the washing basket if I ask her. She can put her plate by the sink if asked, and lay out the placemats for dinner. She can tidy away toys if told where they go (and I'm there encouraging her). She will be only just 4 when she starts school so I'm trying to build her up slowly to have some responsibility around her things (coats etc) with that in mind.

Mine do the things on your list and when they need prompting but can-
Put their shoes and jackets in the cupboard
Put toys back in the right place
Put theirs and their sisters cups by the sink, the older ones know to take the lid of the younger ones cup

One of mine quite likes 'polishing' windows so I give her a cloth and either a spray bottle of water or I spray a bit of window cleaner on the mirrors and living room window and she'll do that.
One also likes to hoover but she is too small to use the big one so we got her a little handheld thing and she likes to go up and 'hoover' their bedroom. These are things they choose to do rather than 'chores' but they work quite well as little tasks for them to do.

DS is 4. We aim for:

• dirty laundry in the basket
• tidy toys e.g. put garden toys back in the garage or put pieces in the box
• get own bowl/cutlery when asked. Take it to the sink when asked
• shoes on (or next to) the shoe rack
• putting his water bottle in his bag for nursery. We fill up the bottle first

This requires a LOT of asking. DD at this age was doing way more e.g. wiping the table, getting cutlery for everyone, getting a nappy and clothes for her brother

My DD has just turned 4 and the things she does are

Putting shoes away when she takes them off
Putting dirty clothes into the laundry basket
Putting clean clothes away with me/DH
Taking plate/cup into kitchen when done
Tidying her room with us (books back on bookcase, toys in toy box)

She will also sometimes voluntarily help with hanging up washing on a clothes airer, taking down dry washing, emptying the dishwasher of non-breakable stuff where she can reach the cupboard, putting away groceries where she can reach the cupboard. But that's her saying "can I help!!" rather than us asking her to.

That's not "chores" per se, that's just teaching them to be tidy, and establishing your authority from an early age.

Tidying own things, loading washing machine, pegging smalls onto the octopus thing, mopping the floor, weeding, ....mine loves doing jobs, weird little fella.

Wiping cupboard doors, some emptying of dishwasher, "peg person" when hanging out clothes, or moving stuff around the washing machine/tumble. Turning clothes right way round when putting away. Mine likes to hoover so with some assistance does that 😁. Pretty much anything I do but on their level. I don't expect it every time but a few bits everyday along with tidying up helps them understand what is going on in the house.

I've got a 3.5 year old niece I look after a lot. We aim for putting toys away! It's an aim rather than a reality.😂

mixing things, any things, when cooking. salad, cake mixture, anything

No chores whatsoever 😂 he's 3.5 and doesn't listen!

DS 3.5 can help unload dishwasher, put his clothes in laundry bin, tidy up toys, lay table with help, unload washing machine with me, pull his bed clothes over.

However I also have a DS aged 12 who can barely spread margarine so I think it’s personality of wanting to do stuff rather than anything I’ve developed in him 😂

My 4 year old will put toys away when asked, put his cups and bowls in the sink, put shoes and nursery bag away. I sometimes give him a damp cloth and he will help wipe the table when I’m cleaning. He puts his clothes in the washing machine and helps hangs clean laundry on the line.
2 year old also helps put toys away and puts her own nappy bags in the bin

my accounting

Hangs her coat and hat up, takes off her shoes and puts them in the hall. Tidies her toys when prompted. Clears her plate when prompted. Fetches her own snack and bowl. Dirty washing in her laundry basket, nighttime pull-up in bin.

Generally she has to be prompted on things but occasionally she’ll disappear to do secret things and we can’t come in, then she’ll reveal she’s tidied her room and made the bed, or lined up all the hallway shoes, or tidied the playroom.

She’s a bit terrified of clearing the table since dropping and smashing a couple of bowls but she’ll lay the table and happily clear cutlery or serve people from the dishes, whether or not they’d prefer to serve themselves… She doesn’t really have a set list of chores as such other than hanging her stuff up and being responsible for where she puts things – I’m not her looking eyes.

My youngest is now 5 and is very rule driven so shoes on the rack / plate in the kitchen / pants in the basket are all things he's done without asking since very young.

Around the age of 2 he became obsessed with toilet roll, putting away, stacking, transferring it to the holders etc, this became "his job". He loves having a special responsibility and will go and do it without prompting and he comes to tell me when we are running low. He also helps empty the dishwasher x2 per week.

Oh goodness, my 3.5yo does hardly any of this except put toys away and take plate/cup to the sink. He’s responsive to requests though so I clearly need to up my game!

I wouldn’t be telling your boy that he’s a ‘big boy’, if he’s feeling insecure or needy, being told he’s a big boy isn’t going to give him any reassurance at all, all it would do is be dismissive of his feelings.

Doing chores at home won’t stop him being clingy at parties, it’s a phase he us going through and your presence and gentle reassurance is what is needed.

Anyway, just encourage him to do little things for himself - help tidy his toys away, carry his dishes to the sink, put his clothes in the laundry, etc - but do it matter of factly rather than oh your great, such a big boy, etc.

At that age and with a mother who had very Victorian values I was responsible for dusting the dressing tables and window ledges, polishing these, handing her clothes and pegs, mixing anything in the kitchen, making tea (except pouring the boiling water), cleaning the sink, weeding, taking bedclothes to the laundry, polishing the cutlery, laying the table, drying some dishes, using a very blunt knife to cut potatoes and shelling peas. I was also taught how to measure ingredients by sight and the common words and phrases used in cooking.

I am still incapable of putting my toys away though.