Do you ever feel ready for a new pet or do you just have to take the plunge?

[ThePetsGone]

Lost my cat 18 months ago, I had to have bereavement counselling due to it, that’s how badly I reacted to losing her. I felt stupid for that although counsellors said bereavement counselling is more common after the loss of a pet than a family member.

My DC aged 9, keeps asking for a cat or a dog or any pet really. But I just don’t feel ready. I still get anxiety and have a lot of guilt over losing my cat.

I wonder if I’ll ever feel ready or if I just need to push through and get a new pet?

DC has SN and has pets at their dads, who they see 3 nights a fortnight, which is another concern as the pets are a big pull for them and one of the only reasons they don’t resist seeing their dad and I’m worried they’ll go more as they get older if we don’t have a pet at home.

Hello. Sorry for you loss.
i have a daughter who is ten. We had a dog at my house who we both absolutely adored, I even referred to the dog as my true soul mate. My daughter sees her dad every second weekend. He had three dogs and and two cats. We lost our dog last year and me and my daughter were truly heart broken. I had the same concerns as you, that she’s rather be at her dads with all his fury friends but she didn’t, she felt the loss of our dog just as much as I did. We rescued 2 new dogs after 6 months and I genuinely didn’t feel ready, I did it mainly for her. At first I thought I’d made a huge mistake, I didn’t love them as I did my original dog and didn’t think it was fair on anyone involved however I pushed through. We’re a year on now and I love them, as does my daughter and wouldn’t give them up for the world. I still love my old dog dearly and me and my daughter talk about her lots. There are lots of pets out there who need a loving home and if you’re able to offer that with an open mind and heart I’d say go for it. Maybe start with a rabbit or hamster, something small?

I'm sorry for your loss. Have you spoken to your bereavement counsellor about your feelings of guilt?

I would really recommend looking at The Cat Site if you haven't already done so. There are many people who've gone through this sort of grief and a lot of knowledgeable advice about adopting or fostering if you ask. You won't get any "it's just a pet" nonsense as is all too likely to happen on other sites, either.

Wishing you the best.

We lost our cat in April 22 at nearly 18, a little female tabby who both my DS with SN and DH had grown incredibly attached too. I had cancer and chemo at the time and desperately wanted another cat, a Maine Coon kitten and I didn't want to delay as had cancer. My DH very reluctantly said he would never love another cat but I could get a small Maine Coon girl kitten. I got a huge Maine Coon boy kitten as DD and I fell in love and we were instantly smitten. The boys have taken longer but now he's a year old I heard DH tell him that he loves him and that he's the best cat and dh plays with him a lot and gets him food at 5am. My son still acts cool with him but plays games were fluffy cats take over the world and laughs when he is silly.

I think you clearly love pets and you will love another one, maybe you are just scared of losing another pet so avoiding getting one. I recommend Maine Coons with SN, they are gentle and he trills all day long.

There’s no need to feel embarrassed or guilty- anyone who has had a pet they love knows. I always still think of our dog from when I was a kid- he was like a lesson in what ‘always there’ is- if you were having a tough day he’d come over and give the paw. He rarely gave it otherwise! Tbh I think the easiest way to settle it is that good old if someone asked you do you want a pet what does your gut tell you? Definitely don’t get one just so your child has one with you too. Best of luck op

Thank you everyone, will check out that forum thanks @Catsmere

I do want another pet eventually, I just don't feel ready yet but want to know if i ever will feel ready.

Glad to help @ThePetsGone , hope all works out for you.