Happy shiny people- the duggars

squigpopp · 2023-07-22T22:35:48+00:00

I stumbled across this by absolute chance and I'm shocked to the core. I remember watching them years ago and always thought how wholesome and devoted they were to the church and each other.

QuillBill · 22/07/2023 23:51

Did you! They seemed anything but wholesome to me. I remember watching it when my own children were toddlers.

The Dugger toddlers weren't allowed to move off a blanket on the floor for hours on end and it was the responsibility of an older child to look after a younger one. The buddy system. The girls were like downtrodden scullery maids.

And the food they had to eat. I don't think they are anything that wasn't canned. Or pickled.

LaLaLouella · 23/07/2023 00:12

Really??? They always seemed a somewhat dysfunctional and abusive family to me...

Alloveragain3 · 23/07/2023 00:14

I'm with you OP, when I watched it I thought the parents seemed really kind and patient and that they were all such a happy lot.
Sad documentary and I feel like a lot was left unsaid.

StrictlyJowita · 23/07/2023 00:18

'The Church' was a cult though.

Did they actually go to a church or was it one of those ones where the dad is a minister and it's just the family in a room and the dad tells them all they aren't good enough. I can't remember now.

I always felt sorry for the children. The mother seemed happy enough. Probably because all the children were doing all the work.

I remember being agog at her 'homeschooling' them all when she seemed as thick as two short planks.

That's one way of controlling your children. Make sure they will never get decent jobs by denying them an education l

CoffeeDrinkerLatte · 23/07/2023 00:21

Anyone know where I can watch this?

im part way through the Hillsong doc on Disney+. That is an eye opener

raquelwelsh · 23/07/2023 00:24

CoffeeDrinkerLatte · 23/07/2023 00:21

Anyone know where I can watch this?

im part way through the Hillsong doc on Disney+. That is an eye opener

I watched it on Prime I think. It is well worth a watch.

CoffeeDrinkerLatte · 23/07/2023 00:26

raquelwelsh · 23/07/2023 00:24

I watched it on Prime I think. It is well worth a watch.

Show quote history

Thank you so much @raquelwelsh

raquelwelsh · 23/07/2023 00:27

@CoffeeDrinkerLatte you're welcome. And thank you for mentioning Hillsong, you've reminded me I wanted to watch that too!

IamAlso4eels · 23/07/2023 00:34

I remember at the time I thought they were very strange and there was something a bit off about them, like they were all a bit brittle. The mum seemed twitchy and the dad had the sort of forced joviality that is the hallmark of men who are absolute arseholes in private.

Autumnflakes · 23/07/2023 00:37

I binged watched shiny happy people but I must admit I spent a fair amount of time on ‘Duggar snark’ Reddit around the time of Josh’s trial so not a lot was new.

I grew up in a single parent household with just me and mum. I used to watch kids and counting as I used to dream of being apart of a big family. As a teen I thought it was family goals. How very wrong I was… well, very naive teen to think it was romantic to court/get married young/get married after a couple of month engagement 😖

I was hoping for more dirt on the Duggar family as I felt a little too much was on the IBLP.

gggbbbnnn · 23/07/2023 00:41

I've seen bits about the family here and there but I'm unsure how they're 'known'. Was it a reality show/doc and then the allegations came out? Would be interesting to start from the start and see it all

MyGuineaPigIs007 · 23/07/2023 00:45

I couldn't watch more than two episodes . Very triggering . I'm not ready yet. I didn't grow up IBLP, but independent Baptist in the UK and my parents who became Christians when i was a small child had similar ideals (not the huge families bit but I recognise quite a few of their other beliefs especially on things like child abuse, the role of women, mental health, and avoiding "worldly" things). My father was abusive and my mother not able to divorce him because of it being a sin.

Things like mental health treatment being evil, and mental illness being a sin, and blaming abuse survivors/minimising their abuse especially caused me to despise God for a long time and really damaged me. I am reading Jinger Duggar's book Free Indeed and it is so very insightful . I really relate a lot to Jinger's story even though the fundamentalism I grew up with was a lot less extreme than hers, and the trauma we both went through has had a similar effect on her as it has me and my sibling.

Autumnflakes · 23/07/2023 00:48

@gggbbbnnn

They did a one off documentary years ago then was picked up by TLC for 16/17/18/19 kids and counting. After an anonymous tip off to a tv company before they were due to do an interview about Josh’s abuse to his sisters TLC cancelled 19 kids and counting. Then TLC rebranded to ‘Counting On’ which was meant to just follow the older girls getting married/having kids but was essentially the same.

gggbbbnnn · 23/07/2023 00:51

@Autumnflakes thanks for that! I'll find the shows and give them a watch. Their life sounds awful from what I've seen. Poor kids

CrabbiesGingerBeer · 23/07/2023 01:45

QuillBill · 22/07/2023 23:51

Did you! They seemed anything but wholesome to me. I remember watching it when my own children were toddlers.

The Dugger toddlers weren't allowed to move off a blanket on the floor for hours on end and it was the responsibility of an older child to look after a younger one. The buddy system. The girls were like downtrodden scullery maids.

And the food they had to eat. I don't think they are anything that wasn't canned. Or pickled.

It’s called ‘blanket training’. Basically you put a mobile baby on a blanket, put an attractive toy next to the blanket then beat the baby with a rod or stick if they leave the blanket to get the toy.

Do it consistently and you get a toddler who stays on the blanket as directed because they are too terrified to do anything else.

Add in beatings for not being instantly obedient with a smile (instantly obedient but looking grumpy or complaining isn’t good enough) and you get ‘happy’ smiley children who obey immediately.

The Duggar TV shows just didn’t show the ‘encouragement’ (what JimBob and Michelle apparently called beating the children according to their niece) behind the scenes.

CrabbiesGingerBeer · 23/07/2023 01:46

MyGuineaPigIs007 · 23/07/2023 00:45

I couldn't watch more than two episodes . Very triggering . I'm not ready yet. I didn't grow up IBLP, but independent Baptist in the UK and my parents who became Christians when i was a small child had similar ideals (not the huge families bit but I recognise quite a few of their other beliefs especially on things like child abuse, the role of women, mental health, and avoiding "worldly" things). My father was abusive and my mother not able to divorce him because of it being a sin.

Things like mental health treatment being evil, and mental illness being a sin, and blaming abuse survivors/minimising their abuse especially caused me to despise God for a long time and really damaged me. I am reading Jinger Duggar's book Free Indeed and it is so very insightful . I really relate a lot to Jinger's story even though the fundamentalism I grew up with was a lot less extreme than hers, and the trauma we both went through has had a similar effect on her as it has me and my sibling.

Jill has a book coming out shortly that is apparently far less sympathetic to the parents (I understand Jinger also presents them as victims of the church rather than abusers themselves).

CrabbiesGingerBeer · 23/07/2023 01:48

StrictlyJowita · 23/07/2023 00:18

'The Church' was a cult though.

Did they actually go to a church or was it one of those ones where the dad is a minister and it's just the family in a room and the dad tells them all they aren't good enough. I can't remember now.

I always felt sorry for the children. The mother seemed happy enough. Probably because all the children were doing all the work.

I remember being agog at her 'homeschooling' them all when she seemed as thick as two short planks.

That's one way of controlling your children. Make sure they will never get decent jobs by denying them an education l

An actual church - IBLP.

As you say, the whole (lack of) homeschooling is deliberate. With no real education and nowhere to go, the children are basically stuck in the cult.

fantasmasgoria1 · 23/07/2023 02:31

On YouTube there is a podcast called cults to consciousness. A woman called Shelise Ann Sola who is an ex mormon started it and she interviews people from different cults who have managed to escape the cults. There are a few interviews with ex iblp members . It's very interesting.

TRexTara · 23/07/2023 04:09

I know what you mean, but when I heard about the rug training I was truly disgusted.

TRexTara · 23/07/2023 04:11

Apparently you train the child to stay on the rug. Even including hitting them, even with objects. You train them to stay on the rug. What the bloody hell?

CrabbiesGingerBeer · 23/07/2023 12:32

TRexTara · 23/07/2023 04:11

Apparently you train the child to stay on the rug. Even including hitting them, even with objects. You train them to stay on the rug. What the bloody hell?

It’s not ‘even including hitting them’. Hitting the baby with a painful object (I believe a flexible ruler / glue stick is recommended) is the training method. It starts at 8 to 9 months.

I just have this vision of babies being beaten and it makes me want to cry. This is legal in the US due to religious groups having a stranglehold on legislatures. I’m fairly sure anyone trying it in the UK would be up on child cruelty charges (if they get caught, of course).

3BSHKATS · 23/07/2023 12:40

CrabbiesGingerBeer · 23/07/2023 12:32

It’s not ‘even including hitting them’. Hitting the baby with a painful object (I believe a flexible ruler / glue stick is recommended) is the training method. It starts at 8 to 9 months.

I just have this vision of babies being beaten and it makes me want to cry. This is legal in the US due to religious groups having a stranglehold on legislatures. I’m fairly sure anyone trying it in the UK would be up on child cruelty charges (if they get caught, of course).

Show quote history

I knew a couple of highly successful lawyers in Australia, who used to hit their children with rulers, leaving Marks. They have very happy smiley children who love their parents very very much. It’s fucking weird.
mine, have never had a smack in their life, and they called me all the names under the sun to my face 🤣🤣 but I guess that’s because they’re comfortable to do so

FourTeaFallOut · 23/07/2023 12:43

I haven't watched the Netflix documentary but I remember the show prior to all the revelations about the sexual abuse in the family, and I remember that the mother explains how they did the run training by hitting the floor to make a loud sound when the baby ventured off the mat. Which seemed bloody terrifying and Pavlovian for the baby alone but there was no talk of hitting the baby at the time. But they were clearly capable of lying, minimizing and fabrication so who knows what went on in reality.