Oversensitive at work

[AquamarineGlass]

I have had four jobs in the last two years.

I feel anxious all the time that I'm not well thought if. This leads to insomnia and panic attacks which then affects my performance the next day.

I have always been conscientious and eager to please but I am now unable to work without suffering huge anxiety which I hide as well as I can but can lead me to get emotional at work, eg crying.

I work in quite tough cultures.

I don't know what to do. Do I need medication or how can I cope with the pressure of work better. I constantly feel not good enough.

bumping for you xx

Me too x

Hi,
I sympathise completely. This is a horrible feeling. Actually though, it is very common amongst even the most seemingly successful people.

I would recommend you get a coach or trainer who can help you develop strategies to cope with imposter syndrome and assertiveness in the workplace. There are some really good trainers out there.

There’s a few things.

I would definitely see your doctor. Even just as a starting point. I work in a corporate environment and a few years ago the anxiety was overwhelming. I got some medication and it help a bit. Not loads. But enough to be able to help me keep a clear head and tackle the other issues. Wasn’t a long term strategy (though nothing wrong with taking medication long term) but really helped.

Are your jobs temp jobs? Are you moving around a lot? Is it the ever changing environment that makes you feel anxious?

A coach is a really good idea. But I think you need to explore what the root of the problem is. Is it imposter syndrome? Do you worry about what people think of you outside work? Do you have generalised anxiety? In your jobs have you had constructive feedback and and praise? How have your past bosses been? How was your relationship with them?

Those sorts of questions. It could be imposter syndrome, it could be stress related, it could be many many things.

Free coaching and mental health support
https://able-futures.co.uk/individuals?gclid=EAIaIQobChMIqfqQuei_gAMVAbztCh03Jg2tEAAYASAAEgJV6PD_BwE

Anyone in work qualifies. I recommend it as part of my job and have heard good things about it.

I agree with pp, but also are you working well? Are you pulling your weight?

I'm only saying this as one of my team members is not pulling her weight and its been noted and she's not now well thought of. I know she would ask a similar question on here. She is all woe is me and will soon find that her team mates are enemies as she does less and less work everyday and we witness her increasingly bizarre behaviour.

as one of my team members is not pulling her weight and its been noted and she's not now well thought of. I know she would ask a similar question on here. She is all woe is me and will soon find that her team mates are enemies as she does less and less work everyday and we witness her increasingly bizarre behaviour

And what are you/your managers/your company doing to try and help this employee? Or are you all just watching her deteriorate?

If you can specify this, then it might be of some help to the OP, and not just a criticism of one of your colleagues.

How old are you? I had crippling anxiety at the onset of peri-menopause.

And what are you/your managers/your company doing to try and help this employee? Or are you all just watching her deteriorate

Yes, it's all being dealt with in a supportive and sympathetic manner, but this employee is on a path of self-destruction. Believe me, I am on it. But it does breed resentment with others, and not everyone at work is well thought of.

Hi,

I too can sympathise - I will share how I have coped with this over the years.

Firstly, I pull out of gossip or groups or whatever and I knuckle down and get my work done. I recognise that I am not there to make friends, but to work and I get down to my work and make SURE it is what is needed. There is no other way for me to feel good about work if I know I am missing something or making mistakes - it has to be of a high standard for me to feel satisfied.

Secondly, I take steps in my personal life to be fit for work. I HAVE to work as there is no one who will take care of me, therefore I HAVE to be successful at work and fit for work, and that means getting and keeping myself together, early nights, prep etc.

Finally, I recognise that the world of work brings me into contact with all sorts of people I might not otherwise be around - some of them are great and become friends, but some of them are not my cup of tea at all and I have to be careful around them, and occasionally stand up for myself, which I have had to learn how to do.

In your shoes, I would journal about what I personally need to do, and then I would set about doing it. I would work quietly and calmly and be focussed, I would not talk, I would not involve myself with anything other than head down, solid work - and get results, and then you can relax knowing you are on top of things.

I would also do things at night to calm myself and would probably use positive affirmations like 'I am safe and doing well.'

I would give it some time with people, time where they experience you being quiet, focussed and delivering solidly for the team - they will soon come around xx

I feel the same way - I can be sitting in a meeting, hearing people around the room saying what they've done, and thanking me for my part in it (I'm IT, I end up with a hand in everything), and still don't feel like I'm doing enough - that I could be better.

I'm trying to give myself a break on it - watching what other people achieve and noting that I'm doing at least that, and my boss is happy with me, so I must be doing fine, even though I think I could be doing more.

something2say

Great post.

Yes, great post OP. I'm sure lots of people feel like this at some stage. I hope you soon start to feel better.
I agree that journalling could be useful, even if it's to get the thoughts out of your head.
Thanks for the info @Lamelie . This is just what I'm looking for, but was struggling to find something that was free. I will contact them.

Just another thought OP.
Do you have a yearly appraisal? Could you meet with that person to discuss your thoughts, if you feel they are someone you could talk to?

@Lamelie thanks again. I signed up online to the support offered by Able Futures, and within an hour they had rung me and I have completed the initial assessment with them. The support will hopefully start next week.

@AquamarineGlass from talking to the person doing the assessment, I think this would definitely be worth you checking it out. Good luck.

Oh thank you @lilila for bumping!! I was so surprised to get all these great replies after a long silence...thank you!!!

There's quite a lot to think about here. The Able Futures stuff would be brilliant. I have since seen my GP and been prescribed anti anxiety medication.

I think it's come from a few very bad experiences at work plus poor coping strategies for stress and anxiousness to overdeliver....basically a naturally anxious person tipping over the edge into an extremely anxious one.

My performance isn't affected so much as I'm left crying at evenings and weekends and between meetings (wfh). I can hold it together for work but afterwards the terror and feelings of inadequacy overwhelm me.

The pills have helped but I need to understand myself better as I'm 45 and have onky been like this the last 3 years.

I agree that self care, watching caffeine, exercising and eating well all help.

I will also start journalling again.

I just want to be able to work again like I used to without the extreme fear I get. I don't get it in all situations, for example I am fine with my peers and the team I manage.

It is the very senior management who I am scared of but it has been the same in all four jobs recently and so it can't all be their fault!

That’s brilliant, I’m so pleased.

If you’re 45 and this started at 42 please consider HRT. Depleting oestrogen can cause anxiety/imposter syndrome.

This started around the same age for me.

Perimenopause. It was horrible

The antidepressants have helped a lot. If I talk to him about HRT then what if he takes me OFF the anti depressants??? Can you do both??

After three years I am happy to take any and as many pills as possible! Has not been my attitude before at all but I really need help to function.

Thanks so much for the advice.

@AquamarineGlass I would really recommend looking at Dr Louise Newson & her info all about perimenopause. It very typical to be prescribed antidepressants when actually it could be the effects of the perimenopause that's making you feel like this. She's done some great podcasts too. I would advise considering HRT as replacing the missing hormones can have huge benefits for our physical & mental health.
Look up the Balance App that Dr Newson has created. It allows you to do a symptom checker & there might be more things than you realise that are related.
You can still take antidepressants and HRT together, if you need them. Good luck.

You're not alone OP ❤!

I was self employed for years due to ASD that I could easily mask when working from home (even though I worked doing beauty and would have clients) but the pandemic knocked me back and I had to apply for help because I couldn't have clients without crying... which obviously won't do!

Funny reaction our bodies have to stress. I hope you get all the help you need. Good luck and if your medication isn't helpful or you want to go back you are well within your right to do so.

Thanks!

He wants me back in on Friday so I will ask about HRT. I'm a bit embarrassed to talk about it with him but I think I will try.

I will refuse to come off the antidepressants though for now because at least I am coping a bit better on them!

I definitely have never been this bad before. Always on the anxious side but never anything like this so it makes sense what you are saying.

This might be worth looking at before your appointment:
https://happiful.com/dr-louise-newson-knowledge-is-power