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Original poster

Weirdest neighbour antics you’ve ever come across?

109 replies

Mariohatesmushrooms · 22/07/2023 15:14

I have a neighbour who comes running out of her house to stare at me whenever I go outside, but pretends that she’s doing something else like watering her plants or looking out for visitors. I have no idea why she does this, she is a bit odd in general though. I was taking the rubbish out once and she came dashing out so quickly that she tripped over a bucket and went flying! She landed on grass so would have been fine but it really cracked me up.

When I lived in my very first flat I had an 50+ year old alcoholic neighbour. He appeared in my kitchen one day when I was bringing in some shopping, made sexual advances and took ages to kick out (I was very polite and awkward about it when in hindsight I should probably have seen red!). After that he’d periodically throw things repeatedly at my door when he was very drunk like a bike, fridge shelves, his kitchen bin, a coffee table. It wasn’t too bad and I wasn’t there for long.

I’ve had a few other bizarre neighbours over the years but these are the two who really stand out for me. What sort of neighbour antics have had you chuckling or raising an eyebrow?

OP posts:
Tilllly · 22/07/2023 22:25

WhatADrabCarpet · 22/07/2023 17:41

Lovely quiet neighbours but they love to garden at midnight or later with head torches .

I can't stop laughing at this

Batshit!!

Mygrandadwasmywingman · 22/07/2023 22:26

Our neighbour was lovely when she first moved in-the gent died and she moved in-its council (I'm not a snob-i grew up in a council house but it's relevant)

About a year later,she came storming out of her house to scream at us

We park outside our house-she outside hers
She has taken the hump and thinks we should park 10+ streets away

She sits on her ring doorbell,recording and reporting us to the police if we don't live up to her 'rules' which include having post delivered,ditto parcels,park outside,hang my washing out,use our garden,plant any plants or leave the house/come home etc

We had my sons dog for a week so she rang the rspca-that was fun trying to explain we don't have a dog as he'd gone home by the time they came out to us

She keeps flying out of her house,screaming at us that she is going to ring our landlord and 'have us kicked out'

We have the last laugh-we own our house but if she carries on,I will report her to the council

Outwiththenorm · 22/07/2023 22:28

When I was a child we moved next door to neighbours who were hardcore Christians (long skirts for women, no electricity on Sundays, no TV except for Songs of Praise). We learned this when we returned home from the park one Sunday afternoon and the washing my mum had hung up that morning was all neatly folded (still wet) on our doorstep.

NeighboursEverybodyNeedsGoodNeighbours · 22/07/2023 22:28

Once lived in a very respectable street in a new build "exclusive luxury" flat.

One of the neighbours was a working professional but had a 20 something son "David" who was extremely sketchy and somewhat off the rails (in and out of prison). David had an even sketchier best mate "Julian".

Julian had fallen out with his wife and wanted to move in with David. David's mum very sensibly refused. Julian therefore decided to move a disgusting beaten up caravan into our street's car park and promptly moved into it.

Julian was tall (around 6ft 4) and was very wirey. Long greasy hair, sullen caved in long horse like face. Not in any way attractive. He would emerge from his caravan daily around noon with just a tiny towel preserving his modesty and make his way over to David's flat to shower.

The local residents were utterly aghast at all this drama. It was the talk of the street. They were all very well to do people (oprah singers, doctors and such likes). To be honest I found their reaction to all this hilarious.

Complaints were made to the council however they didn't want to know as it was a privately owned street.

However, this all changed when I mentioned in passing to one of the neighbours that I'd had the misfortune of seeing Julian emerge from his caravan earlier that morning and urinate against the door. Yes - you read that right - he urinated against the door of his own caravan!

Well! It's seems that was the way to get rid of him. Environmental health were informed and they promptly put posters all over the caravan advising him that he was breaking some law or other and was ordered to vacate by X date or they would remove his caravan and impound it.

Julian was FURIOUS when he saw the notices. He got a hammer and smashed up his caravan exclaiming, "If I can't have it none of you fuckers can have it either!".

I assume he went back to his wife as I saw him weeks later visiting David with her.

Environmental health got rid of the manky caravan.

Tilllly · 22/07/2023 22:29

@Tirediam

That's rank...

Quiche... egg sarnies...?

Couldn't you at least have chucked out things like pizza or cake?
The good stuff

😁

70sTomboy · 22/07/2023 22:31

We had a neighbour who cut her grass as 5am, using kitchen scissors. Yes, out in the garden on her hands and knees with scissors. Her grass was really short and tidy, though.

namechangenacy · 22/07/2023 22:32

This thread is amazing.

My old neighbour greeted us in panic saying we had travellers coming and going from our house and garden all day and night for the past week.

This completely spooked and us we were returning from holiday.. nothing had been broken into, stolen. House and garden locked up and bolted. Security footage showed nothing.

Still remember how absolutely convinced he was bless him

Gettingbysomehow · 22/07/2023 22:41

70sTomboy · 22/07/2023 22:31

We had a neighbour who cut her grass as 5am, using kitchen scissors. Yes, out in the garden on her hands and knees with scissors. Her grass was really short and tidy, though.

That would be me then. Although I did only do the edges with scissors.

70sTomboy · 22/07/2023 22:45

Gettingbysomehow · 22/07/2023 22:41

That would be me then. Although I did only do the edges with scissors.

Show quote history

This was the whole lawn 🤣

Suspific · 22/07/2023 22:46

Another one. My neighbour in his 70s told me he fancied me (30s). Straight out said it. I said 'no you don't say stuff like that' and haven't spoken to him since. What an arsehole. Who thinks that's OK behaviour??

BettyBoopy · 22/07/2023 22:48

Nagado · 22/07/2023 15:34

I had a couple two doors down who would argue every other night, regular as clockwork from midnight onwards, but they’d say the exact same things. Same insults, same claims to have slept with the other’s mum/dad/brother:sister/best friend etc, and it was all done in the exact same order. It would only end when he’d either cycle off on his squeaky wheeled bike threatening suicide or one of the neighbours would call the police, he’d hear the sirens from the main road and take off out the back, before she’d deny he’d ever been there and he’d sneak back in at 4 am. It got to be like white noise in the end. But it really made us laugh one night when he’d done a particularly epic flounce (‘this will be the last time you ever see me alive’ etc) only to come riding back in the car park 20 minutes later because he’d lost one of his false teeth and needed her to bring a torch out to help him look for it.

This is the funniest thing I've ever read 🤣🤣🤣🤣

NeverThatSerious · 22/07/2023 22:54

Our neighbours (when I was a child) were of the hippy variety. Old school types, long braided hair, mad patterned clothes, sunday morning yoga sessions on the lawn, said ‘maaan’ a lot etc. They used to grow weed in the greenhouse in their garden, and every day they used to play the archers at full volume in there. I asked them why once and they said it was very good for the plants to have some mental stimulation. Nice people… utterly and completely fucking bonkers.

Suspific · 22/07/2023 22:58

Suspific · 22/07/2023 22:46

Another one. My neighbour in his 70s told me he fancied me (30s). Straight out said it. I said 'no you don't say stuff like that' and haven't spoken to him since. What an arsehole. Who thinks that's OK behaviour??

Oh it might be relevant to say he lives with his wife and I live with my DH and DC. Neighbours for over a decade. Dickhead.

Hibiscrubbed · 22/07/2023 23:00

NeverThatSerious · 22/07/2023 22:54

Our neighbours (when I was a child) were of the hippy variety. Old school types, long braided hair, mad patterned clothes, sunday morning yoga sessions on the lawn, said ‘maaan’ a lot etc. They used to grow weed in the greenhouse in their garden, and every day they used to play the archers at full volume in there. I asked them why once and they said it was very good for the plants to have some mental stimulation. Nice people… utterly and completely fucking bonkers.

I think they sound awesome!

Cosycover · 22/07/2023 23:10

Oh I am so winning this thread.

First flat I ever rented aged 21. Me and my ex. Was a lovely new build and we were very excited.

Then the smell started. And continued for weeks. We couldn't find it. I felt like I was going absolutely mad.

Come home from Tesco one day and notice flies in the downstairs neighbours windows. Alot. A whole fuckin lot of flies.

I thought he must have died. So we called the police and explained the flies and smell.

Turns out he had been shitting in his bath since he moved in. And just piling more shit on top of the shit.

Loafbeginsat60 · 22/07/2023 23:13

Nat6999 · 22/07/2023 20:56

I had neighbours who were frankly scruffy, one morning as I was getting ready for work I saw the husband run out the house in his underpants & grab his trousers & shirt off the clothesline, then try to put them on. It was in the middle of winter & they were all frozen as stiff as a board.

😂 that's class!

Cirice · 22/07/2023 23:15

As a child I stood in the living room window watching the man who lived across the road chase his wife around our street with a sawn off shotgun.
This was the most excitement I had ever seen so was devastated when my mother plopped me behind the sofa and wouldn’t let me come out.

By the time she agreed my release the armed police had tackled and disarmed him and taken him away.
Never did find out what had pissed him off.

Beadyeyes91 · 22/07/2023 23:15

When I lived in a flat the downstairs neighbour called the police to report how many times the toilet was flushed.

He also reported I had a very noisy parrot. I don't have a pet parrot.

He smoked a lot of weed which I assume was the reason for this delusion.

Clearthinking · 22/07/2023 23:18

Moved to a new house, when walking to school I saw a lady walking hers to school without shoes on!!! Thought why????

chubbachub · 22/07/2023 23:25

My neighbour leaves packets of cooked sliced chicken breast out for the foxes/birds at 5am. Still in the packet.

Mygrandadwasmywingman · 22/07/2023 23:27

My ex had the 'best' neighbour

Ex lived in a block of flats-him on the 3rd floor and a guy above him

The guy had been trying to move for about a year with no luck-so he told my ex anyway

He wanted a 3/4 bed house,but the council where refusing as he was a single bloke with no kids

So he got up one morning and set a newspaper alight and dropped it on the floor

Fucked off out and came back an hour later-only to find out it had gone out

So he re-lit another newspaper and went out again

My ex happened to be at home (he was on the phone to me) and went on the balcony to check his washing,only to see smoke pouring out if the window above him

Rang the fire brigade and it was put out-the whole block could have gone up-the flat was gutted with a lot of damage to the other flats

The guy did move-he got 14 years for his antics

I do think he was mentally ill-he used to stick san-pro to his windows,had loads of pictures of princess diana all over his flat,he'd collect his own waste instead of using the toliet and ex was woken at 3am every morning to this bloke chanting/praying to very odd music

gogomoto · 22/07/2023 23:29

I still pity my late grandfather's neighbours - Alzheimer's wasn't as talked about then i should add. He started going around to them, annoying but understandable, then he started going there naked! but the lovely people they were didn't tell dad or my uncle for over a year. It all came to a head when he went to the off licence naked

YarisKaris · 22/07/2023 23:29

The neighbour who was convinced someone was living in their attic.
The neighbour who would slam doors late at night/early in the morning and wake my baby.
The neighbours who got done for growing weed (but were actually lovely people and some of the best neighbours we've ever had!)

Bonfire23 · 22/07/2023 23:33

One has a thing against women
He kicked off about my cooking for ages. My dad was always "he's elderly, be nice" when I was er no, he's rude!
I was cooking a casserole, my dad was over and said how nice it smelled. Next thing, hammering on the door so I went to open it
Neighbour screaming about "fucking cooking smells" so I opened the door further and he saw my dad
His face was a picture
He's also told another neighbour (house, not flat) to not hang her washing out. Her husband came out and suddenly he changed his mind

He's also refused to let a plumber in when he had a leak which was pouring through my ceiling and reports me to the management company if I ever think about putting my washing outside

floydfan81 · 22/07/2023 23:34

Used to live in Ireland, Next door neighbour was a vicar, He would talk about my ex and I living in sin because we weren't married, My best friend came round one night and he was showing me his grindr to show me a guy he liked, Found vicar on there looking for 'fun'

Moved into a flat, Was putting my bedroom curtains up, Looked out into the back garden and noticed my 70 odd year old neighbour was gardening, Naked, wearing nothing but a pair of flip flops, Made eye contact, Got those curtains up in record time.

Different flat.. Kept waking up to my black bin on fire, Got a camera set up and it was my downstairs neighbour, Every time I got a new one he would sneak out and set it on fire. I moved out.