How did you do finances after baby?

[Soapyjuly]

We are TTC in the not too distant future and I have been wondering how most people approach family finances.

Me and DH both earn pretty equally, I have a fairly generous maternity package with occupational maternity pay. Currently DH pays rent and I pay utility bills and most the food shop, it’s what works for us and always has done. I hope to return to work full time or at least 0.9 after baby (not sure when yet, but possibly around 10-11 months after).

We have our own personal accounts and a joint account at the moment, but the joint account is pretty redundant currently. How do people do it? Of course since I’ll be taking most the time off I don’t want to be financially without, we’d rather both have the same amount of income disposable/to save each month.

I hear people talk about combining finances completely but I am not too sure about this, as I do sometimes like a bit of autonomy and it would mean each others Christmas, birthday presents etc wouldn’t be a surprise! So what do you do? Thanks :)

We worked out a realistic budget (which for you will likely vary pre child, during maternity leave and after returning to work). We then assigned ourselves "pocket money" - the same amount each - which goes into our personal accounts and everything else goes into the joint account.

Joint account pays for all bills, child related things and anything that's necessary for the household even if personal (e.g. commuting to work costs). Any personal spends (e.g. phone, clothes, presents for each other) come out of our own accounts. Any "unusual" purchases out of the joint account we discuss in advance (so things like normal food shopping and recurring children's clubs we don't discuss, but "do we need new pans" - we would).

Any surplus (!!) money gets split between personal and joint savings.

Honestly, everything is joint. All money goes into one account and comes out of the same. We have accounts for savings and pensions, holidays, insurance (in case shit breaks) and kids accounts. Money is direct debited every month. We also have a pre arranged amount for personal spends which gets put into our own accounts. Any other spending like food, bills, mortgage, travel, kids shit, petrol, insurance, days out, clothes and basic toiletries etc comes out of the joint accounts.

Personal account is for when we have nights out, extra spendy buys (make up, tech) and for when we buy each other presents but even then we will transfer money around to accommodate it.

Nothing is secret or kept personal with money. Both very open and honest. Have Both been the higer or lower earner over the years

All into the joint account with the same amount of fun money each.

You need all child related expenses to be seen as joint expenses not just yours and you both need to be able to show a history of paying rent

I manage the money.
All of Dhs wage goes into the joint account. When we had babies all of mine did as well.I then sorted out all the bills and savings.

Joint account from Day 1.

The same way as pre-baby. Everything goes into a joint account and we each get pocket money from the joint account into our own personal accounts.

Alternatively, if 'equal pocket money' is not a top priority, then each have salaries paid into your own accounts, and each then pay into the joint account proportional to your incomes, enough to cover all bills, rent, baby costs, household shopping, joint holidays, etc etc. out of the joint account. Both top up the joint account monthly and during the month as needed.
This only works if you have similar incomes, because if one earns far more then they will always have more left to themselves, even after paying in proportionally.

Whatever you do, get all the bills paid as direct debits out of a joint account, and pay the rent out of a joint account.

Also have a joint savings account, for major repairs and emergencies as well as just general saving for the future.

Not what you asked, but what is just as important is that you both have equal 'time off' or time to yourselves after baby arrives. If one sits on the sofa and one goes to the gym or pub or whatever, they both count as 'time off'. Hours of paid work and on baby or household tasks must be equal.

Joint account. I don't understand separate finances if you're married and will have children, unless it's a second marriage and you already have children or property.

Joint account for bills, mortgage, food, kids stuff, nursery fees, holiday stuff. Have a little personal each in our own current accounts for clothes, haircuts, nights out etc. But really it's all joint, depending on how skint we are each month. I'm better at saving so squirrel some away each month out of my current account. When I was on mat leave I just paid what I could into the joint account and DH covered the rest. All evens out eventually.

Always had a joint account. Just one that everything goes in and out of, although we have a “family” account that a set amount each month is transferred into for days out with the children, kids clothes, treats for us all etc. That’s just so we know when it’s gone, it’s gone.

Long time SAHM now, all money is family money. We were both brought up with parents who did the same.

Always a joint account and then equal fun money each month into own accounts to pay for presents, haircuts etc. have done this for over 20 years, through dc, not working and full time work. We are a team so always have shared finances.

Equal fun money here, dp pays everything bar his fun money to joint account where fixed bills come from, I transfer everything except fun money into various separated accounts for child related expenses, food, home and fuel expenses, savings. We keep any overtime and bonuses for spending individually however we’ll review this when my money goes down to nothing in the final weeks of Mat leave and again when we’ve a big childcare bill.

I wanted to use my money, be autonomous - but after getting stuck in a car park and I couldn't afford to pay to get out after baby cinema and lots of tears and a kind stranger - I gave in. The disparity in wages was huge, so he has tried to insist but I was reluctant.
Now all money is who needs it/joint. Practically he just added me to the credit cards, he pays them off. I pay all childcare, most of the food, my bills. I also get free reign now to research and book the trips, days out and holidays whiteout stressing how to pay.

We earn about the same too, so normally we just pay the same amount each month into the joint account to cover all bills and shopping, and keep the rest of our money. For maternity leave, when we had different amounts coming in, we paid everything into the joint account, paid all our bills etc each month, then withdrew equal amounts back to our personal accounts, basically what a pp said but without drawing up a specific budget, just dividing up whatever was left over.