13yo doesn't want to go out

[BruhWhy]

Feel a bit sad for him, even though he's very content to stay in.

Since he turned 12 last summer he'd been going out with friends after school to the local park, getting on the bus and going to the local beach, youth club etc. Staying out until it started getting dark in the autumn/winter and 7.30 in the lighter months.

Then he and his friends started to run into trouble with some local kids who vape, claim to carry knives and offer to fight anyone who even glance at them. It got to the point where he felt he couldn't go out without encountering this stuff and just felt intimidated and anxious, so he just stopped. He still goes to youth club but comes straight home.

All his friends feel the same and they also stopped going out. None of them have plans to meet up over the summer, and will just chat over Xbox/occasionally hang out at eachothers houses.

Don't get me wrong, I'm grateful that he's not tempted into doing all that stuff, but I can't help feel a bit sad he won't be enjoying his summer to the fullest.

Anyone else having this issue?

That was me at 13. I'm always busy now as an adult. Some gentle encouragement maybe? Otherwise I think he is fine.

It sounds like he’s massively lost his confidence. It would be a pain in the neck for you for a while, but could you drive him and some of his friends to the beach and sit in the car park with a book for a couple of hours? Just so he has the reassurance that there’s a dependable adult nearby if he needs them. Maybe enrol him in some martial arts or boxing classes? Obviously if someone has a knife, teach him to run, but it might make him feel slightly more confident if he knows how to defend himself from kicks and punches. Could you speak to the other parents and take it in turns to let them have free rein of your gardens for camping in, or stringing up a projector for a film? Or having a gaming night? Could you get in touch with your local pcso and ask what they’re doing to tackle anti social behaviour (although I’d keep your son’s name well out of that one because the situation will only escalate if the other group think he’s been complaining to the police about them).

Yep. We live in a not so nice area and I can't afford to move, I'm in a HA flat and no one would want to do a swap with me to live here.

DS is 15 so he's older but he's not a fighter, he's the quiet type. He does go round to mates houses but they stay in, they won't go down to the park or anything. Honestly I'm glad as it's not a nice place, I don't go there myself. But it's sad that this is the situation.