Finding this time of year hard - SEN DS

[Allthescreens]

DS2 has just finished Year 7, he's 12. He has autism, inattentive ADHD & epilepsy which came on in the last couple of months.

He spent his primary years at the village Infant & Junior school with full time 1-1 support, now has gone to the same MS senior school as his brother, which he loves & seems to be doing well at. He got the year group award, so I know he is working well.

What I struggle with is the social aspect. He seems to be accepted at school, but he doesn't tell me much. The other students seem fond of him & if we walk in the school town around pick up time lots stop & say hello & give him high 5s, which is lovely. From his year group & older. But he doesn't seem to have many friends, which seems to be emphasised by others having lots of plans to meet up over the summer. There are a couple who are really there for him & looked out for him on the recent school residential (when he was having seizures), so hopefully he can meet up with them over the summer.

Yesterday we met up in the park with some of his old Junior school classmates & parents. Most of the kids are now at different schools. It was kind of sad to see them all reforming the lovely big, easy groups they had at primary & DS was mostly on his own or playing with his brother. A handful made an effort to walk around with DS a bit & play with him, but I could tell he just didn't really fit.

I don't know what I want from this, I just find it hard to see. Social media doesn't help & I need to step away from that too.

We do have a lot planned this summer & DS is off on Scout camp tomorrow with his big brother, but there are at least 3 weeks where we have no plans & I have to work a lot too. I just worry it's all going to feel a bit like yesterday did 😔

Your DS sounds like a lovely lad, who is doing well at school and is clearly well liked by his peers. There's so much positive in your post ❤️

I totally understand those feelings that take you by surprise sometimes. When you see the "difference" in your child compared to their peers. I agree that social media isn't helpful and I recognise this impact on myself as well.

But different does not been worse. It's just a different way to be happy. Playing by himself or with his brother is ok.

My DC is autistic and needs support with their learning. They left primary school yesterday and I really really really hope they have such a positive experience of the transition into secondary school as you've had with your DC 🤞🏻🤞🏻🤞🏻🤞🏻.

Hope you have a lovely summer.

My DD and her friendship group were rubbish at setting up time to just meet up and hang out (it requires coordinating as they all live too far to walk to each others) in year 7 but have become pros as they moved into year 8.

I imagine that seeing and dealing with a friend having a seizure is quite scary for an 11 year old, so unsupervised group time is less likely to happen. But if your DS has their contact details you could suggest he invite friends to his or take them to an event where you are in the background. You might need to teach him how to reach out, and also how to deal with rejection if others are busy.

Thank you both. There are a lot of positives & he is generally very happy in himself, I guess it's just hard to see the difference to his peer group sometimes 😥 But I need to learn to embrace his difference.

@CanYouReachThem I hope your DC has a positive transition to secondary school.