How different was your childhood from your DC's?

[TwirlBug]

Just that really, a general chat... how did your own childhood differ from your DC's? How does it impact your parenting and views on things?

My DC have a fairly similar upbringing to my own in terms of parenting style, location, schools and holidays. Obviously tech has moved on etc. However, my DH was brought up with very little and life was a real struggle.

He often is much more proud of our DC and protective of them, keen to be giving them the best. I never thought it would be this way, but I am the one keen for them to sometimes struggle and have to fight their own battles. I think he feels he has worked hard to give them the upbringing and so will fight for them.

They are gowing up in a different country and a lot more frugally than i did.

I think its natural to feel that way what you've described. My childhood was very different I am 1 of 4, mainly 2 growing up as big age gaps!. Our household growing up was turbulent between my parents, lack of father figure no boundaries set and their relationship was on and off for 20 years.
With my own DC. He is an only so very privileged, my choices have been thought through I can focus clearly as I only have the 1 child and I think he will be the last. I manage to save for him, he does weekly sports activities unlike me as a child. He's also well travelled lucky little thing gets to go abroad 1/2 times a year!

They have a lot more opportunities than I did - my parents didn't particularly lack money, but just weren't prepared to drive us places and inconvenience themselves. I've probably gone to the opposite extreme and spend my life driving my DC around so that they have opportunities that I didn't have!

Our kids have a holiday abroad most years, they aren't spoilt but also don't want for anything.
They have grandparents who live with us ( but have also lost most of DH's parents within their memory)
They have cousins who are younger and we see them whenever we can.
DH and I are not big drinkers.
Both of us have jobs that allow for us to be very prwnsent with them. DH does school runs, school events etc which neither of our dads ever could have done because they worked in town. And we're gone 7-7.
We definitely have better relationships with our teens than we ever had with our own parents. The girls talk to me about things I would struggle to talk to my mum about now.
We have shared interests and hobbies with our kids.

My DCs have two parents the love them and put their happiness first,even if that means making unpopular decisions that are for the best long term. We’re very open, we all talk, we laugh and know that when the shit hits the fan we’ll always be there for each other. They’re young adults now.

I had two parents who didn’t give a shit about me, never took me into consideration and were generally dreadful parents. My DH had caring, loving parents, but they were very narrow minded and controlling.

I like our way better.

I was brought in a none child friendly family. There was no activities just for us, no holidays planned around what we wanted to do. School holidays were just spent in the house entertaining ourselves. We were basically ignored. The only time my mum ever took me to the park was when she looked after her friends child for the day so we got to go for a treat as the other girl was there.

My DCs have completely the opposite. Our whole weekends are planned around their activists, parties, play dates and interests. I absolutely love it and it comforts the little girl within me I think.

Mine was unstable, in and out of care, and when with birth family we moved frequently, I went to a gazillion different schools. My mum was unstable and abusive. My children had a stable upbringing with no abuse, they are loved and accepted for who they are, they are never ridiculed. They went to one primary school and one secondary school. We moved three or four times during there childhoods but they lived in the same area and kept the same friends, they didn't move house from the ages of 7 and 9 until they chose to leave home to set out on their own when in their 20s. I was thrown out at 17.

Grew up with parents in a passionate marriage which often included fiery rows - ended up in a marriage where there was all the passion of a wet fish (on his part!) and now divorced

Grew up with a STAHM and a dad who never let her forget it. My children have a mum who has the main career and has always been the main earner and doesn't need a man financially

Grew up with young fun parents who had kids in their early 20s. I had mine in my mid to late 30s and I don't feel fun I feel knackered 😂

My upbringing definitely instilled a fierce independence in me - I do all the DIY, earn the money, organise everything, and I'm raising my children to be the same

I wish I could have given them a healthy view of relationships and marriage but their dad put an end to that one

My dad died when I was 14 and my mum quickly took up with an alcoholic. Very unstable teenage years with hardly any money because he was drinking it all. The electricity was cut off. When things broke there was no money to fix it. Verbal and emotional abuse. No support or encouragement. DH grew up in an abusive household with physical abuse and domestic violence.

In contrast, our children have had love and support for everything they want to do. Encouragement and positive feedback. We tell them how proud we are and how proud they should be of themselves for their accomplishments. I was 42 before my mum told me she was proud of me. We have a nice, safe house and I earn enough for us to be comfortable. DH is a great dad. They've grown into happy, secure young men. I'm extremely glad that they've had a very different upbringing to ours.

Wow, some heart breaking stories on here:
My differences are more situational:
Semi-rural vs inner London
Large extended family close by vs. geographically distant family
Analogue vs. digital childhood

But both had 2 loving parents , annual holidays and material needs met.