Feeling increasingly like a recluse. I seem to have stopped going to places because they all feel busy.
I turn down invites all the time - coffee, lunch, dinner, shopping, day trips, concerts, theatre.
I just don't like other people - possibly their behaviour.
Last two (extremely expensive) restaurant visits were ruined by very loud, raucous (pissed) people - only went out for quiet meal.
Last theatre visit was ruined by people talking so loudly that I was missing the dialogue on stage.
Last concert was ruined by people brushing past me (knocking my shoulder) constantly (aisle seat) all carrying two massive plastic 'pots' (holding much more than a pint) of lager to knock back as quickly as possible in order to go and get more. Then hundreds of 'tanked up' people up dancing and shouting so that I couldn't see the stage.
Last day trip to coast ruined by a dog walker allowing their dog (off lead, no recall) to jump up at grandson, knocking him over and puncturing the skin above his eye. This is the second time my grandson has been knocked over by a dog on a beach. Both times needing A&E visits.
Last trip to supermarket ruined because of me waiting patiently for people to choose an item and move away, only to be halted again by people approaching in front of me and barging me back so that I have to wait again while they have hummed and hawed, choosing what they want - deliberately being slow because they know I was waiting before them to pick something up.
Last trip to fill up my car - waiting and waiting for people to vanish forever inside the petrol station shop and eventually emerge, strolling back to their long abandoned vehicle with loads of shopping and a coffee.
Last time clothes shopping - people barging in front to scrape coat hangers up and down the rails when you are looking at something in particular. You move away to look at something else then the same person barges in, again scraping each coat hanger up and down the rails aggressively - like you are going to select a garment that they don't want you to have.
Last time I took the grandchildren swimming - too awful. Every time I move away from people, someone else brushes past - there's really no need to touch another person when passing them.
I'm avoiding most people by just not going out. Or going out really early or really late.
Can't avoid school drop off and pick ups but try to time it to spend as little time waiting as possible. I stand as far away from others as I can and then someone comes and stands in my personal space - their backpack or their arm, nudging me, pretending they don't notice.
Last time at soft play - urgh. Don't have the words to describe - apart from 'vile'.
I was a confident, social person - would strike up a conversation with anyone. But now, other people's behaviour just grates on me.
Everywhere I go is just too peopley.
Wondering whether I'm either very depressed or have the first signs of an old age deterioration?
People just give me the rage.
It has never felt 'busy' before. But I don't know 'before what'.