Best working pattern with children

[ouse]

I work full time and it’s fine but I think I need to be around more for my children after school. One is going into year 3 and the other will be 2.5 in September so what works best for one (school pick ups most days, for example) might not be the best for the other (full day off together to go swimming or to a toddler group).

I have a demanding, “important” job but things aren’t often urgent and I mostly work from home. It takes a lot of my brainpower to do the role. A few of my colleagues work 4 days a week and a couple 3 days a week so I’m thinking in this ballpark in terms of number of hours but possibly 5 x shorter days rather than having a non working day every week.

I haven’t run the sums yet but it would help me a lot if you could tell me what works for you. We have no family nearby so we rely on professional childcare for the rest.

We’ve discussed my husband dropping some of his hours too but objectively my role is the most flexible and amenable to part-time and flexible working. However, it’s not off the table as an option so if you make things work by you both juggling your working hours, that would be useful to think about. But I think in reality we can’t go on much longer having two equal careers (and I am sad to be saying this) as the stress levels are just too high and the children miss out on us both.

Thanks!

I work 5 shorter days 8:30 to 2:30 or 9:00 to 3:00. It means if I am wfh I do both drop off and pick up and if in the office I do pick up only and DD does breakfast club which is MUCH cheaper than asc.

I earn much less than DH so I have a job which is flexible and I take on the running around.

I do think I would like a day to myself but that would mean longer days on the other days and dd doing asc and missing out on her dancing etc so I stick to 5 and moan 😂

I work with someone who does condensed hours 9-3, that's equivalent to about 75% of a full time role, has done that while her child finishes primary. A friend with a 7 and 3 year old currently works three days a week - Tuesday to Thursday. The younger is at childminders on those days and she has him the other two, older child does after school club on the working days.

It is not inspiring that even now 99% of the time with heterosexual parents it's the husband whose job just isn't practical to do as part time, isn't flexible for covering sickness, can't make time for school events, etc etc...

If you work from home what time can you start and how flexible are your work?

DD is a teen and I'm on my own so worked termtime only when she was small but have changed careers and WFH now, I tend to start at 7, nip out for the school run and finish around 3.
Some of my colleagues do a 9 day fortnight and work longer days. To get the day off which works for them.

I do 9-2 which is handy as wrap around is hard to find. My role is flexible and it's easier to cover on more shorter days (in 1 day/week) than 3 days.

DH does compressed full time which is standard in his industry so 4 days. His industry (now predominantly female) is innately less flexible than mine plus he can't WFH.

Having the option of a longer day helps fit meetings in around others' availability so both compressing is a good option.

I'm also not entirely convinced that part time professional roles exist other than in medical fields or the public sector, except for pay so compressed is better than part time

I have one at school and one at nursery. We both mostly work from home. I work 4 days, off Mondays when I also have the younger one and can take him swimming etc on that day, then do pick up. We have flexible Fridays at work, so I collect my eldest on that day as I’ve usually done my hours by that point or occasionally catch up on a Sun evening. My DH also agreed with work to finish early on Weds so he does pick up, but he does finish off his work in the evening when kids are in bed. It means eldest is picked up 3 days a week. The other the two days he does enrichment clubs at the school. My job is demanding and fast paced when I’m working but on my day off I rarely get contacted.

Until ds (my second child) started school I worked 3 days a week. Dh finished early one day a week.

Meant that I had two days at home with ds and got to pick dd up 2 days. Dh picked her up one other day and she went to after school club 2 days. Ds was in nursery 3 days a week.

Once ds had started school I moved to 3 school hour days, 1 long day and 1 day off. Means I pick up 4 days a week. Dh still has his early finish so he picks up the final day.

I do 8-2.30 (30hours week). Dh drops to school and I pick up then can do clubs/play dates after school if needed. Works well for us

I work 4 normal days (9-5 or 5.30), 2 from home and 2 in the office and have one day off when both DC are at school/nursery so I can get errands done. It works pretty well for us.

One of the reasons I dropped down to 4 days was so I could have an afternoon with DS1 where he wasn't at after school club. Sometimes he is tired and just wants to watch cartoons after school but other times we go to a cafe for a treat or to play football in the park before we pick up DS2 from nursery. DS2 gets two full days a week being spoilt by grandma so it feels like it's fair.

I do 4 days worth of hours in 5 days. Three full days and two half days. It meant when the younger one was in nursery, he was able to do shorter days on my half days and I can do the school run twice a week. It is important to me to be able to part of their school environment, so I don't want to be full time until they are in secondary school. It does mean I have no hope of career progression, but I accept that as the price to pay for the life I want for my children. The rest is done by wrap around childcare, dp and grandparents.

I found it harder sharing my role than just working full time and doing it myself

DH is reducing his hours 9-3 to do drop off and pick up when DS starts school in September and while I’ll be back full time, my job is pretty flexible and family friendly so I’ll probably do a nine day fortnight and build in a couple of early finishes for pick up.

I’ve been working 3 days a week and having two days off with DS since returning from mat leave, and I’m grateful I’ve had that opportunity, but I get paid more than DH so it makes much more sense long term this way.

I’m worried about seeing less of DS but I’ll be doing most school holidays (DH leave is dreadful) and work from home a lot so I’ll still see plenty of him I hope!

I did 3 or 4 full days. It's difficult to do shorter days as we are relying on other department's cut-off times and sometimes it means 3-4pm is one of the busiest times of the day.

It also means I have a day free to use for non-child friendly stuff, appointments, shopping or just time for me instead of working and having DD each day. It works well for us.

I currently do 4 full days and have a day off with DS. He's starting school in Sept and I'm staying at an 80% contract but officially doing 3 full days (with a nanny doing after school) and 2 half days. In reality, the half days will be flexible depending on what's in my diary but I will pick my son up on those two days generally so will finish working at 3pm. It's actually the same working pattern as my mum had when I was growing up so I think it should work okay.

I'm FT. Demanding role but WFH. DH FT too but slightly more relaxed role. DS does wrap around care (breakfast and after school) on a Tuesday and Thursday. On these days I start at 7am and finish at 5.15pm to do pick up. I drop off Monday (DH picks up) and pick up Wednesday (DH drops off) then he does a school club til 4.15pm on a Friday.

I think working 3 standard length days per week for example is better than 5 shorter ones as it makes the school holidays easier to cover.

I work night, DP’s tile is not flexible, is office based bar one WFH day and 9-5.
I work 12 hour night shifts, contracted to 28 hours weekly but I compress two weeks worth of shifts into one week, so do one 60 hour week and then have the following week ‘off’, it means I can do all but 2 drop offs (use breakfast club) and I can do all pick ups for school aged child. It also helps with things like the summer holidays as there is less time for me to get covered.

I do 0.8. 4days a week from 8-3 with 1/2 hour lunch. Thursday I work from home 8 to 12.30. That’s the day I schedule appointments for in the afternoon. I chose Thursday as it’s the day I am the most tired and the grumpiest and it is better for everyone to avoid that!

In your shoes I’d definitely consider school holidays and how you will cover that. Also weather compressed hours one day a week wfh could mean a shorter day one other day. And your DH needs to pick up more. If he can’t work flexibly then he needs to be the one to take carers leave to cover the DC being poorly. They are his kids as well. Can he wfh one day a week, do extra hours and finish early one day too?

I’ve done four days and three. They have different advantages. I think it also depends on how flexible your work is, whether you can work from
home, and what your commute is like.

This obviously depends on your workplace but my personal experience is that the difference in how you’re viewed is quite stark. At four days, you’re still seen as another colleague, just “Ouse doesn’t work on Mondays”. At three days, that changes to “Ouse is part-time, you know”.

I find four days better professionally, and it’s what I’d aspire to with two children in school if working from home wasn’t an option, possibly working two longer days to have two shorter days where I’m
home earlier or able to do the school run in the morning. More money. Less catching up after a non-working day.

I prefer three days with a preschooler as I enjoy spending the time with them. It also means we have two days a week holiday care sorted without having to think about it. It feels like better work-life balance from a home perspective and I like doing the school run twice a week as well. It reduces commuting and working costs.

So it depends on what you need and what’s most important to you.

I'm planning to go back 0.7 compressed into three days 'on' where I might work late but also I will spend an hour or two on emails/prep on my non working days

Following. Mine are both at primary school and I also work FT. I have agreed flexibility with my boss such that I do pick up at 3.30 one day per week. Another day DH picks up from after school activity at 4.15, and a third day DF picks them up. So they currently do two days of after school club which doesn't sound bad, until you factor in that DS does Cubs and football two evenings a week. I also would just like to be around more for them and without the distraction of having work on my mind.

Just to add - although I'd like to drop hours, I've found it very difficult to come up with a pattern that would make sense. I could request extra flexibility to do an additional pickup, but I think that's taking the piss. Conversely if I were to drop a whole day and go to 80%, then it would only allow me to do one extra pick up, at best, but I would have dropped 20% pay. This is why I'm always going round in circles with it.

I would choose 3-4 full days over 5 shorter days

• less days to cover in the holidays
• day to spend with your preschooler
• opportunity to get some jobs done round the house and free up the weekend
• less time wasted commuting
• makes it easier to attend things like assemblies/trips/sports days (at my DDs school these tend to be on Fridays)

I work 3 days over 5 (professional job). One full day in the office and mornings the other days. I'm a single parent and one child has additional needs. Both in school. Work wise it can feel tricky as most of my colleagues work full time but it's all I can manage and stay sane.