I just can't get stuff done

[Mydogrocks]

I work from home. I'm not very organised. I have lists everywhere.
I get back from the school run which takes an hour and I just feel totally overwhelmed with work, house, dog needs a walk. I'm sat here nor knowing what to do or where to start.

Not that I can help but I'm applying for a wfh job and this is exactly my worry!

I probably need to do a plan or a list but I just can't prioritise! It all needs doing!

I feel your pain
I have self diagnosed adhd and have spent a lifetime feeling like this

Yeh j think I do too. My mind is all over the place. I just want a nap!

Take the dog for a walk.

Whilst walking, think of your priority 3 tasks.

Come back, do first one.

Have a cuppa.

Do second one.

Have lunch.

Do third one.

Get kids from school.

I could do that, that is a good plan.

Yeah I feel exactly the same and am freelance so don't even get a salary. I really need to put time into creating some work to get paid for. But as a single mum I am also doing all the school runs, all the house stuff, all the finances, every single flippin' meal and bin. On days when I don't have the kids I just want to close the door on the house and leave it all. Also have self-diagnosed ADHD. I tick so many boxes for it. I have done nothing this morning apart from send two emails and read obsessively online about things that interest me - travel and mortgage rates mainly.

This is brilliant advice!

Gather all your lists and amalgamate them. Ditch 75% of the items.

Have only 1 list. Plan 3 things to achieve daily.

Get wall calendar or big diary.

So simple but a great nudge, thank you.

First of all: lower your expectations. You are raising a family and working and that’s not easy! Fix in your mind that small bursts of work done regularly and consistently will produce better results than one huge effort made sporadically. Eradicate any notion of perfection from your mind.

Second the school day is short!

Make yourself a half hourly timetable for the entire week and stick to it! Block out school runs, meal times, dc reg weekly activities etc then you can really see when you need to focus on work. Ring fence that time and fo nothing else within those times.

Meal plan!

A one hour commute every day is quite a chunk out of your time. Can your other half do their share? Can you car pool and share the load with other school mums? (Put in an announcement on class WhatsApp?)

Fourth: your day should start the evening before (if that makes sense). Lay out clothes and uniforms for next day … and when you stop work for the day … spend 5 mins thinking about your next work task and what you are going to start on when you get bk from school run the next day… don’t make it something horrible … but something tolerable! Most of procrastination is actually a problem with decision-making and obviously in your case op that’s exacerbated by adhd.

Have a morning routine a la Flylady …
before you leave for school run, put one load washing on (to hang up or td at coffee or lunch break) and fold when you get back home from school run while still warm so you don’t have to iron. And do a full load from beginning to end 6 days a week.

Other chores in morning routine could be emptying the dw from evening before, 5 min tidy up with a timer, clearing and cleaning kitchen sink, peeling veg or marinading meat for dinner or putting slow cooker or Ninja or crock pot on, cleaning one element of bathroom a day, quick hoover.

TOMM is good!

Could you combine school run and dog walk? Take dog in car and walk in park on way home or walk with dog?

Try and schedule a nice thing for you in between school run and work even if it’s just 5 mins with a brew doing Wordle. And then another 20 min break just before you leave for school run perhaps doing some stretches?

Follow routine consistently and you will start to see results! Good luck!

How did you get on @Mydogrocks?

The only thing that really works for me is -

One HUGE long exhaustive brain dump list of ALL THE THINGS. Whenever a thought occurs to you, put it on the stupid long list.

And then one daily 3 Things list. Just choose the top 3 priorities.

Do more than 3, bonus.
Do less than 3, try again tomorrow.

(If you want reassurance that you’re not ‘only’ doing 3 things a day, you can write down what you did do all day in the evening. All the mundane shit that takes time but is not ‘list-worthy’ like sorting the bins or hanging up washing. You’ll see you’re more productive than you give yourself credit for.)

How did you get on? I M feeling like this too

Yeh not great. Think I'm just very lazy.

If you do have ADHD you are not lazy you have executive disfunction

For household tasks, Rock the Housework www.rockthehousework.co.uk/ by The Organised Mum Method. Basically a subscription to podcasts that talk you through tasks. There's some free samples avaliable. The subscriber content has much more from 5 min tasks to deep cleans and a recent one is a 2 hour productive morning session.

It seems particularly popular with neurodiverse people as a form of mirroring/ body doubling.

I've found housekeeping much easier and more motivating since its launch last year.

I have terrible executive function issues. HFA diagnosis. Not diagnosed with adhd but it's been suggested to me by a few work places now.

I make a list. I break every task down into its components so tidy the living room will be put away the books, straighten rug, dust and polish, sweep floor, mop floor etc. Same for every room.

Then I do the easy wins first.

As many jobs as I can fit in to the first 30-60 mins so that I can cross as many things off the list as I can. Otherwise, I spend half an hour on one job but the other jobs on the list start calling out to me and I get distracted by them and end up starting half a dozen jobs and don't get to the end of any of them.

If I do a job on the way that I've noticed but wasn't in the list, I write it on there retrospectively so that I can cross that off too.

Otherwise I can spend a whole day being busy but achieve absolutely nothing and I have no idea how it happens.

I'm going to investigate this!

i totally feel you, it feels like by the time the necessary things are done to keep everyone alive and functioning there’s no time or energy left for anything else! My lists are never ending and constantly growing.

I have to have power hours or just find books and crannies in the day to get motivated and do something. As my lists overwhelm me I just take one thing and do that in addition to everything day to day.

I often feel like this too op.

Thank you. I've spent this morning just feeling absolutely paralysed and not knowing what to do or where to start.
Yesterday I had a really busy day and was so much more motivated.