The look on people's faces when I tell them my job title

[Nowitstarts]

I've recently secured a new job. It's not really that different in content to my old job (though people outside work probably didn't realise what it was) but this one is called Director of....

I'm a widow, supporting myself to very nice lifestyle, why are they shocked I have a good job? They're all assuming I'm living off DH's money aren't they?

He was a lovely man but if we'd been financially reliant on him we'd have been broke forever. When he was alive I always saw it as joint money and didn't care what others thought about where it came from. Now it's important to me that I'm financially independent and their assumptions piss me off!

People will also treat you completely differently I promise

How do you mean Pippin?

Well your husband wouldn’t have to be well paid to have a decent life insurance policy so maybe that is what they thought.
My guess is you have just gone from the “feel sorry for the lonely widow” box to the “well paid professional independent woman” box. Some may treat you differently and you might find out who your real friends are as they won’t dump you due having an inferiority complex.

What a nice problem to have. Congratulations on your promotion!

Is it more that your job title is vague and means nothing to people who don’t work in your job?
I’ve met a lot of people who say their job is something like “Director of Logistical Technology and Micro Operations”* and I have no clue whatsoever what on earth they actually do. So my face might be making a confused and baffled look but it’s because they may have well said they work as “blah blah”.

• I randomly made that up….no idea if that is actually a job 😂

Have you tried not telling them?!

I’m always vague when talking about work with people outside work. I can’t think of any reason for anyone needing to know exactly what I do, what my level of seniority is, or what I’m paid (other than DP).

Nothing like a bit of title snobbery! A director title in my company isn’t even that senior. We like to make lots of people sound important!
I’m honestly not sure how your job title and widow status really interact to be honest.

People asked what the new job is

A nice problem to have? OP lost her husband. Trust me, it and anything which happens as a result of it, is nowhere near nice. Nothing about being a widow is nice I can assure you!

Could you just say, oh I work in 'grommits' at 'Betty's Grommit and Fastening Inc.' I find if you're vague then most people drift off onto something else.

Well done on the new job. Hope you really enjoy it.

Titles mean very little to outsiders in my experience. I work for a large financial services organisation where the most senior title is Group Leader, there's 100 GLs in a 35,000 people company and several steps above director, but for anyone outside the firm the title means nothing.

What industry do you work in? Is the title something people understand?

Plenty of people are surprised at women being successful and earning well, some can't get their heads around it

Agreed it certainly isn't.

Congratulations OP. No idea why some people seem to be trying to diminish your title - being a Director is a fantastic achievement anywhere and well done for succeeding despite your bereavement.

I hope those surprised by your status are also pleased for you. x

I took @MrsElsa 's comment to mean that having such a good job that people are surpised is a nice problem to have. I didn't think she meant anything derogatory about the terrible pain of widow hood. I'm so very sorry for your loss @AlfietheSchnauzer and @fetchacloth

@BunnyBettChetwynd is right- some posters are either deliberately understanding or are simply dim.

I don’t think Mrs. Elsa was referring to being a widow as the nice problem. What a bunch of Dum Dums.