Can't make a decision!

[choices23]

NC for this so it's not linked to my usual name

Short version
Choice A - continue on medication with awful side effects
Choice B - come off medication and have chest infection/tonsillitis/UTI monthly and higher covid risk

It's a great choice

Medication is every 10-14 days. Headache, severe shivering/sweating, fever, flu symptoms, bone pain, started to feel sick before taking it as I know what's coming. Nothing helps, I've tried antihistamines, CBD, naproxen, codeine, paracetamol...
The headache and shivering/flu symptoms last 12hrs, the bone pain 24hrs
I can take it and ruin my weekend or risk being off work sick

Consultant can't offer any alternatives except one which is the same drug (tried it, no difference). Advised to be on it for life

How awful, the side effects sound as bad as the condition.

If you could post details of your condition without outing yourself, there might be posters with the same illness who could recommend ways of managing either the condition itself or the side effects of your meds.

It's GCSF (bone marrow stimulant)

I think I would choose the medication. My reason for that would be that all the things you are more susceptible to have their own side effects and long term damage, repeat chest infections damage your lungs, repeat UTis damage your kidneys/bladder and so on.

You say that you start to feel I'll now in anticipation, is there any therapy or support you can get to help with that?

You're absolutely right that both choices suck. It's a case of least worst. Sorry OP!

Yeah that's what I'm leaning towards but I can't imagine this for the rest of my life

One thing that helps is eating sweets before, during and straight after - I never eat sweets so it's a treat

Spoke to the consultant who is "your choice" but my neutrophils are so low even with it he said he wouldn't recommend coming off the drug
Argh