Terrible 2s… I want to go back to work.

[Spencer2]

Apologies for the rant but my 2.5 yo is draining the hell out of me.

I love him with every part of me but his behavior is going to make me ill.

Every. Single. Thing. Is. A. Problem.

• Wakes up having a tantrum
• Goes to bed having a tantrum
• Gets in/out the car kicking, screaming, pulling my hair, biting, hittting
• Runs away in public
• Getting dressed is always a disaster
• Leaving the house or entering the house is always wrong one way or another

It goes on…

I also have a 4 month old to consider BUT I am really considering going back to work. My life would be easier and I don’t know how much more of this difficult behavior I can physically deal with. I am utterly exhausted and just generally unhappy.

Does it pass by 3? Or does it keep going?! Is it even normal? He seems to hate most of the day to day stuff we do even though I do my very best to get him out and vary activities. I just feel a bit fed up today.

I found a baby plus a two year really, really hard. Has the two year old got worse since the baby’s arrival?

It all sounds like quite normal two year old stuff but that doesn’t make it any easier. I’m so sorry.

Could he go to nursery a couple of days a week? You’d have to handle it quite carefully with him so he didn’t feel rejected by it in favour of the baby.

Sorry that should obviously have been baby plus a two year OLD

It passes. My DD was a demon for about 6 months from just before 3 to about 3.5. Long screaming tantrums about the silliest things. I found it hard to deal with and she was in nursery every morning. She got through it through.

Just a thought but I could be totally wrong - If the behaviour is quite extreme to other children (not that we should compare but just to check in) - I would be questioning if there is any Sen (ASD/adhd) running in the family....

Only because my boy was extremely difficult and kept getting told he would grow out of it but he never and no one helped me. So I wish someone would of looked into sen when he was younger. Now looking back it was easy to spot at 2.5 years old.

Go back to work if you would prefer - don't stay at home if your not enjoying it

Good luck hope tomorrow is a better day

Start looking for day care for both DC so you can see how you really feel about going back to work. Alternatively, find a part time nursery arrangement or playgroup for your DS. It might tire him out and give him some structure and social awareness.

Go back to work. Reclaim your sanity. The toddler years are desperate.

Just send him a few days a week to get a break and enjoy the baby.

Are you on maternity leave, or did you stop work?
Can you afford to put your 2 year old in nursery a few days a week so you can have some time just with the baby?

I’m having a second DC next year and am definitely planning on 2yo continuing to go to nursery while I’m off.

DTs were fab two year olds. I got very smug. Then they turned three and fuck me it nearly killed me.

It will pass. Does he go to nursery or do you have them both at home all the time?

Thanks everyone - the fact that you have been through it too makes me feel better!!!

I like the idea of going back part time, that way I can still spend good time with the baby, so once DS1 is asleep (10 mins to go!) I will start looking into options.

I feel SO bad for moaning about him all the time… it often makes me just feel like a crap mum. However… he is honestly SUCH hard work. Some days are truly laughable.

Also, I have grown to DESPISE the parent/toddler groups out there… I enjoy being antisocial and i’ve learnt that about myself since becoming a mum! They are incredibly boring, depressing and I can’t cope with the small talk. Is that awful of me? Do I just need to suck it up and take him?

@cocksstrideintheevening hahaha your reply made me laugh. I can almost feel the terror you just relived whilst remembering that time in your life!

But wait…… does that mean I could be in for another whole year of this…… ?!

Sorry forgot to answer the main question here…

I was made redundant (company went bust on xmas eve!) shortly before becoming pregnant with DS2, so didn’t bother finding another job.

I can’t send him to nursery without going to work to pay for the hours, it’s so expensive and we just wouldn’t be able to do it. Technically not much point in working part time as my wages would almost all go towards childcare… but like a PP said, it is simply to reclaim my sanity, the money doesn’t appeal to me as much as that does! So seriously considering.

This was me! We got to almost 3 and I was sure we'd missed out on the "terrible twos" but then it came at 3 instead!

I think for most kids it's a developmental thing and like everything else they reach it at different stages. Hopefully op because yours started earlier he'll finish earlier!