Grandparent worries

[HGW]

My mum (68) looks after my 2yo son twice a week while I work. She recently had to go to hospital with what they called Transient Global Amnesia. Basically she lost her short term memory for about 5hour and was pretty badly confused. The doctor said it's very rare and can't treat it or predict it will happen again.

But now I'm so worried about her looking after my son. What if she has this again while she's on her own with him? I don't know how to handle this, do I stop her from having him? I'm so upset about it

I'm so sorry to read this about your Mam, have they referred her for more tests?
I understand why your concerned and rightly so and I also understand why you wouldn't want to take the babysitting away from your mam too. So, does she look after him alone with no one else in the home? If so maybe an idea would be to put him in a play group and say it's for his development and preparing him for school but allow her to take him and pick him up? At least then you can assess how she is in the morning and the play group staff will be able to assess the situation in the afternoon and contact you if needed. I really feel for the situation you're in and I pray it was a one off for you, your son and especially for her. Sending love xxx

Thank you or your reply Cherieeepow. Yes she's had every test they can do (bloods, heart monitor, CT scan, MRI scans) and they have all come back clear.
Yes she has him alone, he goes to nursery 1 day per week and grandparents the other days. She takes him to a stay and play group on one of the mornings so if anything happened while there my little boy wouldn't be alone.
I think I am working myself up and imagining every scary scenario and like you said I really don't want to take him away from her but if anything happened I would never forgive myself and neither would my mum. Gosh it's such a hard situation

Its such terrible situation to be in. Would emergency cords fitted in her home help at all? Are there any free stay and play activities around you? Can she remember the time leading up to the episode? Maybe there was a trigger beforehand? I really do hope your Mam is going to be OK xx

Does she drive has her license been revoked?

She doesn't drive no

@HGW hope that your Mum feels better soon.

For even a young and fit person, looking after a 2 year old is a lot of hard work, it's physically and mentally exhausting.

You know the answer already - it's not right that she continues to provide childcare for you. For her and for your child. The time has come for her to take things easy and be cared for.

I am sure you can do this in a positive way - as posters have already said, framed as starting play group/ nursery/ school.

Presumably she doesn't have to do childcare / babysitting to see your child, your time all together as a family is what's most important.

@milkandbread I was struggling to articulate what you have done so eloquently.

@hgw it’s difficult but your 2 year olds safety is more important than your Mums hurt feelings. I’m sure she will understand.

Years ago my 2 year old got away from me once and it was the scariest 1 minute of my life before I found him.

Could you talk to her about your worries and arrange a checking up system? Maybe she has to text you every hour so you know her short term memory is working that day?