My mother was a really rubbish one to me growing up. Always had more interest in drink, partying and men than she did in me. She was also abusive physically and mentally.
Fast forward to now, I have stopped seeing her in person and by extension, my dc(4) as she just causes issues every time we see her.
She constantly undermines me, including when my uncle was on his death bed. She's also negative and emotionally abusive. I don't want this around dc so I stopped the physical contact but we still facetime/ telephone call as I find in person the toxicity increases tenfold whereas it's much better over the phone.
Today I spoke to her for the first time in a few days. She asked how I was and I said I was feeling tired (I have several chronic illnesses but also vitamin deficient) and the manipulation begins again.
Her: "I understand you're tired but it's not fair on dc."
Me: "it has nothing to do with dc. I just feel tired."
Her: "well it's obviously affecting dc (I didn't even mention dc?) so I need to come and take dc out."
It's this constant attempt to manipulate me. Does she think I'm that stupid that I can't see what she's doing?
Other ways she manipulates, mostly about dc: she'll randomly state that dc looks upset (dc may be smiling and playing) and it's because I'm not allowing her to see dc.
We recently qualified for DLA. Before making the application she said I was stupid for applying (advised by benefit professionals) as even if DC would qualify they aren't "disabled."
In addition to this, I also found out that due to DLA claim we are eligible for the severe disablement premium on UC. Again, she starts undermining me: "you won't get it because dc isn't severely disabled." I inform her that it's an automatic qualification and if she had a problem with the terminology then she can take it up with DWP to which she responds: "Oh so you're saying dc is severely disabled are you now?"
I have had enough. I can't think of one thing she adds to our lives. Just constant negativity and manipulation