Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

Going to London for 3 days, alone

116 replies

LondonAloneAmIOk · 17/07/2023 18:00

DC (aged 9) will be away for the week with Scouts, so was planning to do the middle 3 days in London. Which is about 250 miles from me.

I was super excited, leisurely train down there, wander around once I’ve dropped my bag at the hotel, eat wherever I want at whatever time I want. I can have the spicest food or fish if I want it (neither of which my DC eats).

Then back to the hotel to watch Netflix on my laptop and have a long leisurely shower. Sleep.

Have breakfast in the hotel, head to some museums and art galleries, eat wherever I want again. Maybe catch a matinee or evening show. Back for a shower and a sleep before heading back home again after breakfast the next morning.

But my parents keep telling me it’s unsafe to do it alone, and I should take a friend or one of them. But that means changing dates or compromising what I do. They keep saying it's unsafe to be a lone female in such a big city and I should consider a hotel closer to home or going down by bus because someone will know I'm there and I'm missing if I go missing.

If I want to spend 3 days not talking to anyone but hotel staff I can or if I want to stroll back to the hotel at 10pm (I probably won’t) I can, or if I want to sleep in until 10am I can. If I want to forget to brush my teeth or wear the same clothes as the day before I can, because I won’t have a 9yo watching me.

I very rarely get so long away from my DC. Last time I got this amount of time away from them I was still with their dad and they went away together for 3 days/2 nights.

I am happy to share my hotel details with them, and I will turn location settings on on my phone which my sibling knows how to use and track, but I really want to go alone but now I'm doubting myself and thinking I might be better off not going.

OP posts:
LadyWiddiothethird · 17/07/2023 18:15

I am old and I go to London often to meet friends,but I spend a lot of time on my own,never feel unsafe.Just watch your bag,especially on the tube if it’s busy and in shops,things I do where I live anyway.

It is a fabulous place to explore alone.

TheYearOfSmallThings · 17/07/2023 18:16

Well, if you travel without a lady's maid and coachman for protection people will think you are a woman of easy virtue, and they might make impertinent advances...

Oh no wait, it's 2023 so you will be fine.

BarelyLiterate · 17/07/2023 18:18

I frequently stay in hotels in London on my own, it’s something I absolutely love to do and I have never had any bad experiences.
Your parents are wrong, they don’t know what they are talking about and their concerns are ridiculous. Ignore them, or better still, laugh at their ignorance and enjoy your trip. London is a fabulous city. I’m sure you will have a fantastic time.

FictionalCharacter · 17/07/2023 18:18

Your parents are being really ridiculous. Don’t they realise millions of women live, work and socialise there all the time? Loads of women are out and about in London every day.
Where do they think would be a safe place for you to go? Norwich? Liverpool? Bournemouth? A little village somewhere? Or nowhere?
I’ve gone out in London on my own and stayed overnight loads of times. Just go, and stop listening to them.
As an adult you don’t need anyone tracking your phone. I absolutely would not do this. It would just validate their fears. And your parents might put pressure on your sibling to report your movements to them

MrsDanversGlidesAgain · 17/07/2023 18:21

As an adult you don’t need anyone tracking your phone. I absolutely would not do this. It would just validate their fears. And your parents might put pressure on your sibling to report your movements to them

Yeah, absolutely don't agree to be tracked. Are they anxious generally, and is this related to you going away childfree and they're worried about what unbridled hedonism you might get up to?

Pollyannalola · 17/07/2023 18:24

I done this exact thing last year. Felt safe and had a great time. Admittedly I didn't use the tube as I hate it but got lots of ubers. I went to see Hamilton one night and to seven dials market the next. Had a drink in a pub after that as well! I have also travelled to New York and California by myself so London seemed achievable! Please don't let them put you off. Often it's a generational thing. My dad thinks it's so weird when I go off and do stuff like this by myself.

Please go and enjoy yourself!

Original poster
LondonAloneAmIOk · 17/07/2023 18:25

They're very over anxious, I've only been to London once before on a school trip when I was 17 and even that they were very reluctant to let me go on, if i mention any big city - Birmingham, Liverpool and Mancesher I visit regularly for work - they tell me how unsafe they are and the crime rates are high etc. They don't even visit my sibling who lives in a city, they have to visit him.

But I will be going. I'm very excited again now.

OP posts:
persisted · 17/07/2023 18:26

You're a competent adult, not a tiny child. And certainly no to phone tracking, such an invasion of privacy.

Tell them to stop being silly. I love doing things like that on my own, the bliss of just being able to do what you want with no-one being bored/hungry/fed up/ needing the toilet.....

Original poster
LondonAloneAmIOk · 17/07/2023 18:26

*they (as in sibling) has to visit them (as in parents)

OP posts:
LittleBearPad · 17/07/2023 18:28

Go! It sounds wonderful.

I’m jealous

CrapBucket · 17/07/2023 18:28

What everyone else said!! Have a great time.

TheCyclingGorilla · 17/07/2023 18:28

I work all hours on the Tube, so I'm out of the house at all hours and I'm using public transport as early at 5am and as late as midnight sometimes. If I'm out with friends I text DH and let him know when I'm about to go home, but that's it. London is blanketed by CCTV, it's everywhere. There are tracking apps your family can use but mine never use them and I don't track my teenager. Just be sensible, keep your valuables out of sight, don't engage with that nutter on the night bus, and remember talking to strangers on the Tube is verboten, and you'll be fine.

By the way, I live in this city and your plans sound lovely and I wish I could do the same!

BarelyLiterate · 17/07/2023 18:29

I also agree with everyone else about the phone tracking. Don’t pander to their ridiculous, controlling behaviour.

ForTheSnarkWasABoojumYouSee · 17/07/2023 18:30

I regularly catch the tube back home alone after the theatre (DH hates musicals so I go with a mate who lives on the other side of town) and it's always full of respectable older people on their way back from the opera.

The only bit that's remotely risky is the walk back from my zone 3 tube stop to my house - but even that's not risky enough to stop me doing it, and there are always other lone women walking home along road with me at 11 pm.

ConfusedGin · 17/07/2023 18:30

I am a woman.
I live alone in London.
I travel around the city at all hours.

I wouldn't tell your parents that, they might freak out

Be alert, as you would hopefully be anywhere you are, and you'll be fine. And you'll have a lovely time.

MagentaRocks · 17/07/2023 18:31

Glad you are going to go. Have a great time.

DeNeushoornHeeftEenHoorn · 17/07/2023 18:32

I am a woman who has lived ALONE in London for 25 of my 48 years. I dine out ALONE and go to shows/ galleries ALONE every week or so.

You will be fine. It's 2023 and a capital city in a liberal Western democracy.

Mimilamore · 17/07/2023 18:33

What bliss... you will be fine, I am often in London, usually with a good friend. Look purposeful, look as you know where you're going and keep your cards phone etc one of those little half moon bags...I have to date never had any problems and your break sounds wonderful, enjoy x

MrsDanversGlidesAgain · 17/07/2023 18:34

Glad you're going (or coming, for us Londoners) and that you've decided not to be ruled by their fears.

Phineyj · 17/07/2023 18:34

Have a great time.

Don't tell your parents so much!!

Courgeon · 17/07/2023 18:38

I travel to London alone for work all the time and it's absolutely fine. I live in another big British city with a "reputation" and have been navigating this city independently for over 20 years including getting public transport late at night etc etc.

You'll be fine and their anxiety is their way of controlling you. Enjoy.

BocolateChiscuits · 17/07/2023 18:41

It'll be wonderful. I live in London, and I'm a woman gasp who goes out alone all the time bigger gasp.

As some have mentioned, make sensible precautions to guard against pickpockets, scammers and illegal cabs. But you'd be very unlucky to come a cropper like that. And there's huge safety in numbers --in the centre, there'll always be a passerby you can shout at for help, or a shop/pub you can dive into in an emergency.

Just enjoy the freedom and anonymity. No-one will give a flying fuck what you're up to. Bliss 😁

Chypre · 17/07/2023 18:42

”There are over 942,562CCTV Cameras in London, meaning there is 1 CCTV camera for every 10 people in the capital. You are likely to be captured on London CCTV up to 70 times per day.”
This + 20 million annual tourists on top of 8 million population pottering around. Not exactly ideal conditions to go round and hack people with machete or try to push them into a van for trafficking?

Vicliz24 · 17/07/2023 18:44

I'm 58 and every chance I get to spend time alone in London I grab with both hands . I've been visiting regularly since I was 16 and almost always alone . Go , have a wonderful time.

AuntieMarys · 17/07/2023 18:44

Don't tell them anything