Thoughts on this ? (friend related)

[catsgoldfishandtoomanypets]

I'm friends with L. I know her through P. I only see L when I'm with P. It was recently L's birthday and I wanted to buy her a gift. I think L is lovely, she is totally on my wavelength (and P is too), hence the gift.

I told P I was getting L a gift. She said ''oh, don't spend too much her on, just get her something cheap''.

Why would P say that ? I can (and did) spend how ever much I want on L.

Perhaps she was feeling like the connector friend and giving reassurance that you don’t have to push the boat out. Perhaps she was only getting something cheap herself and didn’t want you to go ott. You could ask her?

Well, why do you only ever see L when you're with P? Don't you have your own separate friendship and sometimes see one another one on one?

Dunno. Maybe she was looking out for you, maybe she was worried you felt you had to spend a lot of money on a friend you barely know. Maybe your present was nicer than hers and she wasn’t happy about that. Maybe she knows this friend gets embarrassed when given expensive gifts and would prefer something cheaper. Maybe they just give each other a small token gift and you’re changing the balance. It could have just been a throwaway comment and not mean anything at all. I’m not sure why you’re giving it much headspace

@thecatinthetwat P was only getting something cheap for L herself. It makes sense re don't push the boat out.
@DramatisPersonae I think P would be really put out if I saw/contacted L separately.
@Babadook76 I just think it was an odd thing to say.

I think P would be really put out if I saw/contacted L separately.

If this is true, then P is not your friend.

Yes, that's quite weird. Even given the Mn obsessing with 'Wendying' and possessiveness about friendships, that seems pretty juvenile sandpit stuff. 'You can't play with X because I'M X's friend, and you can only come in our sandpit if I say so!'

I wouldn't be up for someone controlling my friendships like that. One of the nice things about introducing friends from different parts of your life is when people gel instinctively and develop an independent friendship.

She didn't want you to outdo her.