Neighbour building work and newborn

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I’m due a baby in less than 2 weeks and my neighbour has begun building work today that will apparently take up to 6 months to complete.
I had no idea until I saw vans pull up and drilling and hammering started. We usually have a good neighbourly relationship so I’m a bit annoyed they didn’t prewarn us.
I understand work needs to be done and they have every right to, but I’m now concerned about where that leaves us with a newborn.
I know the noise isn’t likely to disturb baby, but from a personal (and maybe overly sensitive) perspective, I don’t want my babies’ early memories to be a reminder of constant banging and drilling.
We have plans for a family party to celebrate the baby when she arrives, I also wanted to video a lot of the early days (preferably without the background being sounds of building works) and it feels like it will be very intrusive to hear all day every day for 6 months.
Apparently the work will be 8am-6pm every day excluding weekends. I won’t feel up to going out much in the early weeks. I haven’t got anywhere else to stay.
I know I can’t stop the work or control anything so I guess I’m ranting and hoping anyone here has been through this and can give me a positive uplift?
My whole house is currently vibrating. It sounds like they’re in the next room and we’re only 3 hours in.

@HeartDP @Canthave2manycats Surely it's politeness to warn immediate neighbours of building work? Not necessarily consult them, but let them know?
The building work I had done made so so much more noise than the newborn I currently have in my arms 😂

The most annoying thing is that they knew I’m due soon and actually said they planned to wait until next spring so it could be done during nicer weather (also when I’ll be back to work) but booked it for now for the sake of it

I think it's more likely they managed to get builders in sooner than planned, seeing how difficult it is to get anyone to do work currently, rather than being spiteful.

I think the building noise will probably help your baby learn to sleep through any noise, so a bit of a blessing in disguise. At least it won't be happening through the night, whereas your neighbours will possibly hear your baby crying during the night.

Confused19831983 thank you! An actual comment answering my post with experience, without pointless opinions 😂im glad it wasn’t so bad for you, makes me feel a bit better it may not be constant!

We have never heard their newborns and they have never heard ours, so unless you’re replying with the advice I asked it’s really not necessary to point this inaccurate fact out everyone else 😀

Check your council's website. Here builders are allowed to crack on 8-4 weekdays only - anything else and I'd be expecting them to come and check in with you.

They specifically swapped dates, they told me when we had a chat this morning

@Confused19831983

I didn’t say anything about warning them, yes they should have, that’s just bad manners. But personally, my (daytime) building work has been much less disruptive than a baby crying in the night. Which most of them do. Not so much as newborns as you tend to feed them the second they wake.

Also thank you to the other kind helpful commenters, no wonder mumsnet gets such a bad rep these days the way some of you talk to people for asking a simple question

Spiteful? That suggests you think they are just renovating their house to piss you off. Don't be so ridiculous. I had some sympathy up to that point.

If their builder suddenly had availability, perhaps because someone else cancelled, of course they are going to take it instead of waiting best part of a year for costs to go even higher.

As for saying it is just cosmetic/renovating, why should they live with a house that needs work to suit your timetable?

Those saying about newborn memories etc being ridiculous need to read up on how babies brains are formed and how they build, i say this as someone who is trained in how babies brains develop.

That being said, renovations next door will not influence your babies brain development as long as you are providing all the love and meeting thier needs, which you know you will.

It's crap timing but in 6m it will hopefully be finished and all be a distant memory!

OP, my first maternity leave I brought home a NICU baby, to find our home flooded due to a burst pipe, as a result of my attached neighbours rebuild.

It’s become a joke/funny memory. My neighbors on the entire street were brilliant (helped us sweep out and get dehumidifiers). Within a week it dried out and if I’m honest I’ve little to no memory of that period as I was so shattered and focused on baby, it didn’t matter!

The build continued for of my maternity leave - baby didn’t notice the noise! My friends if they were over were at the house to see me. So, while it wasn’t ideal. It’s not even my main memory of mat. leave! (Covid was far more of a pain than the build)

I do remember asking politely that they left me a space near my door to park. In return I made them odd bits of food. My advice would be to be polite. But realistic, there is nothing you can do about it. Headphones, music, lots of walks with wee one. The early days are often the worst for noise and dust.

Usually builders would have a schedule.x you could ask for a heads up for the noisiest of days? (Ie. demo, removal of render, anything with a jackhammer?)

The world doesn’t stop because you’re having baby.

It is normal that the initial demolition and site works are the noisiest as walls, floors and fixtures are removed. After this things should calm down as rhe rebuild starts.
I would advise you to keep in good communication with your neighbour and if the noise and disruption is getting difficult the let them know without regular pestering.
If you let them know in advance of the party/gathering then maybe works can be adjourned for a time or quieter activity scheduled.
There's a fine line between the moaning neighbour and having your needs met also.
In reality I imagine your new born will give you more than enough to fill your time and between the broken nights, lack of sleep etc you'll be too tired to worry about the building work and would sleep through a typhoon as a result anyway.

So they told you specifically they moved the dates just for the sake of moving it? And to piss you off? No, anyone who works in trade will tell you what a pain in the arse this will be to negotiate multiple contractors, materials etc. Kindly, you’re not that important to other people and your offspring won’t have factored into their legal and perfectly normal diy.

We had building work next door when my daughter was tiny. Full house refurbished, plaster taken down, walls knocked down etc. The only time she ever was bothered by it was when they started pneumatic drilling the driveway right by our bay window with no warning and it scared her the first drill. The subsequent drills were fine. Ask them to inform you of the most noisy works are so you can get out the house or move to the quietest room, but they’re not selfish or nasty because they want to do “luxury” decorating to their home on their own time frame.

When my DC1 was a newborn we were still in the middle of a lot of work in our house. The day we came home from the hospital new carpets were being fitted so it was hours of constant banging. We didn't have a bathroom for the first 3 weeks (literally, to use the toilet we had to walk along a single floorboard to a toilet with no flush and wash in the kitchen). It was finished by maybe 3 months, we just moved things around so we had as much functional space as possible.

By week 2/3 I was out and about, it was summer so I'd go for a walk in the park, do baby groups, meet friends for coffee (and walk there and back to fill in the day because baby only slept while moving). It really didn't matter to me or DH long term.

It's annoying the neighbour has changed their dates but really it's not the end of world, just stay on good terms and say if it's excessive.

How old are your other kids OP? Are they at home during the day or at nursery / school? I think I'd be more bothered about them having to listen to the banging etc constantly than the baby tbh. I'd definitely try and get out as much as you can - tbh when I had dc2 I was out the house as much as possible because I was so exhausted it was the way to feel a bit more alive!

There isn't anything you can do but I do think you're being a bit melodramatic - sorry! They're not being spiteful but their world doesn't revolve around you and tbh, I'd rather have building works next door with a newborn than with a 6/7/8 month old.

They won't be banging and drilling all day every day.

They hadn’t booked it for next spring they were planning to, I knew about that, however the work started today and when I spoke to them they confirmed they’d booked today instead of spring, I presume months ago. So no they didn’t cancel/rearrange a booked reno with a company to bring the date forward. I wish people would actually read and not make assumptions to suit their judgements. If you aren’t offering experience or helpful comments then kindly leave the thread 😊

thanks to all helpful comments, maybe it won’t be as bad as I expect. It’s not the type of maternity leave I wanted, just hearing constant noise and no peace. I can’t sleep through anything so no chance of a day time nap regardless of how tired I am. I know baby will be fine, I was just looking forward to some peaceful quiet days with her. We get on well with the neighbours so I’ll keep communication open, just a bit miffed at their random date choice and not pre warning us. When the weather gets colder there will be no escape, and I’m praying they have a break over Christmas.

It's so tricky, isn't it? I live somewhere where people are constantly extending/gutting/ refurbishing already enormous and beautiful houses and it does spoil one's quiet enjoyment of one's own home, even though of course they are doing nothing wrong. There is something particularly torturous about noises you can't control I think, baby or no baby.

Our next door neighbours' house was gutted by fire when DS2 was about 18 months. The builders doing the rebuild saw I had a baby and before they started work knocked to ask if there were any particular times he napped so they could try and avoid doing noisy works then!

I actually never needed to ask them to be quiet but knowing that they were reasonable and thoughtful and that I could talk to them, which made me feel I had a small bit if control, made a huge difference.

"Again none of my business what they chose to do or when, but it feels a bit spiteful when it’s a cosmetic/luxury Reno and not repairs/emergency work."

Really? Spiteful?? That makes it sound like they said "oh guess what? next door is pregnant!! Let's be nasty and make a lot of noise!!!" And I seriously doubt that's what happened.

Normally people are humming and hahhing over what they might change in a house, talk to builders, apply for planning (which would have been public info and posted outside their place) and then several months or a couple of years later the noise starts.

I truly hope you don't find it too disruptive but you really shouldn't take it personally.

And besides - if you had known it was going to happen what would you have done? Not had the baby?

The main thing I'd be worried about is the noise when you or the baby are napping in the day. I had this issue only on one occasion when downstairs were getting some work done (it was only a few days) and I put white noise on my phone for when the baby napped. You could get a white noise machine in preparation? Or you might find the baby becomes used to the building noise very quickly. It could end up being a good thing!

That doesn't help you much, but could you nap or hang out in a room where the noise isn't so bad? Or you could at least relax with some headphones in while the baby has a sleep.

Gently, have a little think about what you are saying?

That you want your neighbours to plan their lives and their building work around your baby. You do see how utterly self centred and unreasonable that is, no? You simply can't expect your choice to have a baby to dictate their major plans.

I suspect this close to giving birth, you've got a lot of protective mum hormones floating round, and you're not really seeing this clearly for what it is. Your neighbours are having building work done, and your reproduction does not get to dictate how and when they do that. They are perfectly within their rights to do their build, and it sounds as though they will be sticking to reasonable hours (no evenings, no weekends). Neighbours doing building work is always a bit noisy and annoying, but it is what it is, and I'm afraid you just need to suck it up, and realise they are not doing anything wrong at all.

OP stipe taking everything personally, you are being over the top and people are not being nasty by telling you that.

Your baby won't remember it.
Building works are not usually 8 hours a day of constant drilling.
Surely your party will be on a weekend?

I sympathise because construction noise is very intrusive when you are right next door to it. However people have a right to have work done on their houses. Our NDN are replacing something at the moment and have chopsaws and lord knows what else going. The house at the back of us has just had their roof done - which seemed to take bloody ages. However when we moved in here the house had been massively neglected and was a huge reno project, so we were the ones making the noise at the time!

It might be worth asking your NDN if they wouldn't mind asking their builder to let you know when the really noisy bits are planned, so that if necessary you can arrange to stay with family for a day or two?

It’s so wrong they didn’t prewarn you! My parents did some building work and spoke to their neighbours and requested that they didn’t start before Christmas so my parents moved it to January. Unfortunately though there probably isn’t an ideal time for you for it to happen and there’s not much you can do.

The white noise may actually help send the baby to sleep. Good luck OP