Is this how I really feel?

[manyunansweredquestions]

Every single night I feel faced with everything I'm struggling with, leaving me feeling hopeless, defeated and depressed. Many of the thoughts/feelings/realisations that come up don't play a conscious part of my day, but on reflection their impact on my day to day life become obvious (for example, unhappiness in my relationship coming out as having less patience for my partner).

I'm chronically sleep deprived and by the end of the day I'm obviously at my most tired, but it feels like what I experience in the evening is how I truly feel underneath the front I put on (even to myself) throughout the day. It's akin to when people spill all their truths when they're drunk.

Am I just getting into a negative thought cycle because I'm tired, or do I just not have the energy to keep up my defence mechanisms against uncomfortable truths by nighttime?

I hear you. I can fake it through the day too, but as I am getting older I am just too tired by the evening to keep a lid on it all. Can you resolve whatever is making you unhappy? I hope you can get some peace and positivity.

Thank you Phoenix. I don't think there is, it's like I've been backed to the edge of a cliff. The way the last two years has panned out just feels completely wrong, but I can't change it (having had a child with the wrong person).

I will pm you