Does your DP/DH work away? Curious!

[mrsneate]

Saw on another thread earlier than a poster replying said every man who works away from home has another women. No one she knows in real life works away...

My DP does 2 months away at sea. Then two months home. Even people in real life often make comments about "sailors playing away and having a girl in every port"

Dp is on a research ship with the same 25 men each trip away and they are literally at sea for 28 days, go in to restock for less than 12 hours then put for another 28 days. We video call often.

But I also know a fair few people who go away for work.

It's just normal for us... how many people do you know

Indiana jones

I was most disappointed to find out when I met DP he doesn't have a navy uniform. Because he's merchant not royal 😂

DH is out of country for approx 9.months of the year. I trust him, although I guess he could be up to anything, who knows? No point in worrying about something I know nothing about or have control over.

My husband has worked in oil and gas all over the world, he says it’s 50/50 for men who cheat on their wives back home vs those who don’t. maybe plenty of wives cheat too. I do know a married man who worked on rotation in Azerbaijan and had a long term girlfriend there for 10 years.

Mine has and hasn’t. Been together 17 years and some of his career has kept him at home and some of it has taken him round the country. I have always trusted him but obviously if he ever had cheated I wouldn’t know but I have no reason to believe so.

He’s also a far better husband and father than some others who are home 24/7.

My exDP worked away 4-12 weeks at a time. Oil and gas. He was living a total double life with another woman. He claims every single man was also playing away. The Italian oil company he worked for at one stage actually provided prostitutes on the base in the middle of the desert. Girls were provided for them in the Middle East too.

sorry but I think it’s very common.

DH has worked away for weeks at a time since we got together 15 years ago so that's just the norm for us. I trust him 100% and honestly I feel like our relationship is stronger for it, we value the time we do get together when he's home. If someone is going to cheat they will cheat they don't have to be working away to do that.

My DP has regularly worked away since we have been together (7 years). He leaves early Monday and back Friday afternoon, this can be for months at a time or sporadically but he's worked away more than he has been at home. He has to go where the work is (UK based construction), it doesn't bother me and I rather like having the house to myself in the week, I can watch what I like and cook myself everything I love.
The majority of his friends are in the same boat they are all in different trades and they can be working all over the Uk, it doesn't bother their partners neither.

Not sure where they're having an affair or living two lives as they're still normally onsite at 7pm 😂

My uncle was working 9 to 5 Mon-Fri with no business trips at all and yet he had a double life. His wife was a doctor and had night shifts…

It does not have to be a mistress. It could just be casual sex or prostitutes. Sadly opportunity does facilitate affairs and working away from home in a hotel offers a lot of that. Maybe less so on a oil rig or on tour in Afghanistan but there are always female colleagues.

You heard the expression 'what goes on tour stays on tour'.

If your dh has such a job, it is best not to know.

Mine has always worked away. He comes home for a total of six weeks per year.
Whether he's been up to no good with another woman, I'll never know. I wouldn't like to think so, but you can never be 100%. The only time I could say with certainty is when he was a submariner before they allowed women on them.
That said, even if someone didn't work away and worked Mon - Fri in an office, there's nothing to say an affair wouldn't happen.
Flip it around, who is to say that the one left at home isn't having an affair while the other is away.
The trust has to be there for both parties.

DH regularly worked away when the kids were younger, I have always trusted him 100%. The thing that made us re-evaluate was when then 6yo DS said “see you next weekend dad” as he was being out to bed on a Sunday night and DH was gutted that our kids just accepted his absence as the norm. We emigrated to Australia and made a decision that DH would not take any job that involved more than the occasional 1-2 night trip. Best decision ever.

That's a good point. I'm a home educating SAHM and the kids are selectively mute - I could easily fit an affair in and he'd never know.

Although I'm as autistic as the kids, and the thought of physically touching someone else's skin...

I can think of 4 people who worked away for long periods of time (2 navy and 2 oil riggers) who cheated whilst away.

And plenty who only went away for the week in other cities in the UK but would regularly go to brothels. I think they would have cheated regardless but I think opportunity and being in a sort of ‘work gang’ plays into it.

Yes we both do - we both work in other cities and quite often will spend a night or two to cut down the travelling. Going to a city 2/3 hours away and back in a day is frankly knackering and neither of us mind a night in a hotel and being social with colleagues.

My dad used to work away for months at a time and he was always playing away. My mum just sort of excepted it sadly. The result of that was that when I found out as a teenager (because he told me) I developed trust issues with people.
I wouldn’t be with a man who worked a way for this reason , I think it’s unrealistic to think both are going to be faithful when you hardly get to see each other. That’s not to say there’s the rare occasion when a couple is faithful but I’d bet my house on it that it’s extremely rare.

My DP used to work away - he's a scientist and worked at CERN and Fermilab (Chicago). I don't think there was a lot of cheating/affairs although lots of couples get together there. They all seemed to work extremely hard.

A few of my friends work in TV and go all sorts of places and seem to barely have time to sleep!

I wish I'd had the time and the energy between running the house, bringing the kids up and going to work.
Although the kids have long flown the nest now, I'm post menopausal and past caring. 😂

What a strange thing to say. They've obviously had a bad experienced and decided to tarnish all men who work away with the same brush, it probably made them feel better if they thought it was 'normal'. Of course it's not normal, men who cheat will find a way to do it regardless of whether they're home or not.

I have been with DP for 9 years and has pretty much always worked away Monday - Friday. He flat shares while being away and facetimes me and DS everynight, but regardless of that I trust him a thousand percent and there has never been a single doubt in my mind.

I knew of a woman that was having an affair with her husbands back to back. She would drop her husband off at the helipad and wait for the chopper to return.

Lots do, lots don't.. same as the spouse left behind will probably be 50/50 too

DH works away for weeks or months at a time. Although no-one can ever say for certain I'd be pretty surprised if he was up to anything. And equally I guess he needs to trust that I'm not up to all sorts in his absence.