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How often does your family visit/do you visit?

2 replies

ShortDaysLongNights · 16/07/2023 19:34

Bit of a tough one, as I moved quite a bit away from my the town l grew up in in my mid twenties. Think 12 hour drive door to door or 6 hours with a flight in between.

I make a conscious effort of visiting family regularly, over the years huge proportions of my annual leave have been spent visiting family rather than going an actual holidays.

My parents split up when I was very young, I'm an only child, although I'd say I'm on good terms with them and their new partners.
I moved away almost 20 years, in all this time, my dad has visited me 4 times, all being big life time events. It's been almost 4 years since the last visit... I'm well aware I'm the one who made the choice to move away (if that makes a difference), but today I had a moment where I felt really sad about it.
He's well off, regularly goes on foreign holidays, etc. I'm also never invited to any family events, as "oh, it's too far for you to travel" and then see pictures of everyone together on social media afterwards.
Today I was casually mentioning approx. dates for my next visit and he said he'd have to see if it was possible to even stay with him whilst I could hear lots of other family members in the background.

Can anyone give me some perspective, please? I don't think I've officially fallen out with anyone, but feel I'm treated a bit like "out of sight, out of mind" if that makes sense and a bit daft for going out of my way to visit regularly. Anyone in a similar position?

OP posts:
GCWorkNightmare · 16/07/2023 19:40

In laws are 4ish hours away. They haven’t visited for nearly 11 years. I generally don’t go to visit them anymore. DH will take DD every couple of years. Even with months of notice his family will make themselves unavailable.

Mine are about 40 mins away. They see DD regularly but I saw them more often when they lived in the Middle East.

reluctantbrit · 16/07/2023 20:04

Mum and PIL are in a different country and there are also around 4 hours drive between them.

They came mainly to us until 2018 when age and some health concerns mean they don't like to travel anymore.
We try once a year to each side of the family. It's not a holiday so we only do short trips of 3-4 days. We also don't have other close family in the area, so it's not that we visit lots of people.

We do a larger trip this autumn because of time restrictions with work and DD's school.

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