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Original poster

Up at 5am. Sleeping in separate room to DP

22 replies

mrsneate · 15/07/2023 00:10

Just that really.

Not something we have ever considered. He's home and not working for the two months he's home. If I'm on a day shift I have to be up at 4:30am. He wakes up with my alarm, gives me a kiss. Sometimes helps me get my lunch ready for work then goes back to sleep.

If you get up early and your DP/DH doesn't need to be up would you sleep elsewhere?

I find it odd people do this. But maybe it's because we have enough time apart anyway as he works away 2 months at a time.

OP posts:
Shoxfordian · 15/07/2023 06:25

We sleep in separate rooms- I love having a bed to stretch out in to myself. When I go to the office then I get up at 6 and he doesn’t need to be up that early so it’s better or like now; I’m awake and he’s still snoozing. Would recommend it

CatchCatchThePigeon · 15/07/2023 06:29

No but I wouldn't expect him to get up and help with lunch for example. He stays in bed and goes back to sleep

KissKissMollysLips · 15/07/2023 06:29

I’m such a terrible sleeper that there’s no way I’d go back to sleep after being woken at 4:30/5am…I’d be up for the day too. If there’s any chance I’d go back to sleep, I’d happily take the minor disturbance, but nope, it’d be a separate room for me!

2boysandagirltoo · 15/07/2023 06:40

I'm in bed wide awake because DH got up about 30 minutes ago. I don't need to leave for work till 9.30 and he'll get to nap today......

HAF1119 · 15/07/2023 06:45

We work off shifts so I'm up before DP 2 days and he's up before me 2 days. Whoever gets up tries to be fairly quiet but we always kiss the sleepy head of the sleeper. We both stir a bit but for the most part go back to sleep. Works for us and wouldn't want to not bed share, but think if it works for others to not bed share there's nothing wrong with that either! Different horses and all that...

peanutbutter00 · 15/07/2023 06:47

I think it depends on how well the other person falls asleep and if you even have the space. I'm up at 5.30 every day for work but partner is up 8.30, he can easily fall asleep so we sleep in the same bed/room.

Flavabobble · 15/07/2023 06:55

You've mentioned him not working for next two months. It doesn't really matter if he gets back to sleep or not does it?Would it be different if he was doing midnight finishes and needed the sleep?

NotAllPets · 15/07/2023 06:58

We sleep in separate beds due to a health condition and I love it. If you have the space, I think everyone should sleep separately, I reckon most people would get better sleep to be honest.

PurBal · 15/07/2023 06:58

We are currently in separate rooms because we have a newborn who is up in the night. We have discussed separate rooms as a permanent option and we’d love for this to happen but don’t have the space (he’s on a single in the study). One day…

User9753224 · 15/07/2023 07:13

It’s our normal now having slept for 35 plus years together, we both love having our own beds and both of our sleep has improved ten fold and considering how science now tells us how much uninterrupted sleep is important to our health I think it’s a win win situation.

whattodo22222 · 15/07/2023 07:30

Partner does shift work and we have a one year old so everyone gets more sleep in separate beds. He tried sleeping back in our shared bed last night and now we're both knackered

bobblyjob · 15/07/2023 07:55

Why on earth is he helping with your lunch?!

aSofaNearYou · 15/07/2023 07:57

I find getting up to help with lunch odder, but each to their own!

Hoolihan · 15/07/2023 08:03

What help do you need with your lunch?? He butters the bread while you slice the cheese? The mind boggles tbh.

LizzieSiddal · 15/07/2023 08:13

I think the fact your H is away a lot means you’re not a typical couple. It’s really not normal for a partner to get up at such an early hour so he can “help” with lunch and if he was with you 52 weeks of the year, I’m pretty sure he wouldn’t do it.

headcheffer · 15/07/2023 08:16

We sleep separately at the moment, me in with a co sleeping clingy baby in the spare room and him in the main bedroom as he has a lot on with work on at the moment. Maximises all our sleep. Our family sleeping situation ebbs and flows, sometimes apart sometimes together sometimes all in the same bed sometimes all in our own! If he has an early start (4am) and we are in a phase where we are all sleeping together he will sleep in the spare room.

Ragwort · 15/07/2023 08:26

Much prefer separate bedrooms ... I find it really difficult sharing a bed, not disturbing each other if you want to go to bed or get up at different times, arguments over duvet weight, open/closed windows, getting up for the bathroom, wanting to read in the middle of the night, being touched out.. we've now got to the stage that we can only go on holiday if we can book s/c and have separate rooms Grin.
If you've got the space to sleep separately I find it odd that anyone would choose to share.

SweetAndSourChick3n · 15/07/2023 08:26

When I get up early I use the alarm function on my Fitbit so it just vibrates on my wrist to wake me but not DH.

DustyLee123 · 15/07/2023 08:28

I used to despise being woke that early by DH, as I’d not get back to sleep. I wish I’d had another room to sleep in.

Original poster
mrsneate · 15/07/2023 11:05

bobblyjob · 15/07/2023 07:55

Why on earth is he helping with your lunch?!

I don't ask or expect him to! I'll come out of the shower and he's packed it in my bag for me

OP posts:
ManchesterLu · 15/07/2023 11:17

It'd depend if I/he was able to go back to sleep easily. When DP had to work earlier than me, he'd get up and get ready quietly, and give me a kiss goodbye on his way out, and I'd be back asleep really quickly. If I was the kind of person who woke easily or wouldn't get back to sleep, then yes I would consider sleeping in a different room.

Fifthtimelucky · 15/07/2023 15:59

We started sleeping in separate rooms when my husband retired. I still had to get up at 5.45 am for work and wanted to go to bed earlier than he did.

We realised that we both slept much better apart, so we have carried on doing that even now I am also now retired.

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