Is it rare to adopt a newborn ?

[Mozzarellapie]

I have always heard it’s rare to adopt a newborn in the U.K for various reasons . Haven’t thought much more about it till I saw a post today on IG where someone has adopted a newborn baby and it just made me think maybe it’s more common now ?

There are a lot of hoops that you need to jump through to even be able to foster a newborn.

This was what I’d always heard , and how rare it was for newborns to be in care from birth it is apparently older children or sibling groups and that the adoption process takes such a long time.

Maybe it’s one of those reborn dolls? 😂

I was intrigued enough to look for the video on insta as I'd never heard of this person. She didn't even show the baby other her little hand.

This will definitely be a concurrent planning/foster to adopt situation and as a she is qualified Nanny who has looked after lots of babies I'm sure will be stronger than most in dealing with the uncertainties of this type of adoption.

I honestly don't see anything off or wrong about the video.

Wonder if the adoption was from abroad?
I can’t imagine a newborn having been adopted already- unless as others said she is fostering before the formal adoption. If that is the case as a social worker for that child I would be very unhappy with the baby being included on social media in that way pre adoption.

I watched the reel and I find it distasteful for people to use their children in their social media for monetary gain. Hopefully going forward she respects the child’s privacy and sticks to monetising by sharing herself/other aspects of her life.

I do think they need to look at the legislation around children used for social media monetised content. With child actors there are rules around working time etc….so many influencers use their children and there is apparently no protection for them.

It's been discussed at length on this thread why and how that happens. There aren't many adopters willing to do FFA and it isn't suitable for every situation as the law is very clear that every potential carer in the network has to be explored before it can be agreed. Nobody is deliberately preventing babies from going to potential adopters at an early stage, but it's not always possible or appropriate.

I know why it happens, I can still believe it’s not in the best interests of the child for the law to be written that way.

It felt like an ad for nappies/wipes/bottles/iv steriliser etc with the baby just as some kind of prop ?

*uv

What do you think should happen? Babies removed at birth and adopted with no legal process and no right of challenge from birth parents?!

@Mozzarellapie I think it was unambiguously an ad/paid post as it seems that this is her business/influencing page.

I think she started the post with an explanation of why she had not been active on her page for a while and explained it was because of her going through the adoption process. She then tied the ad to the things she had bought to prepare for her baby's arrival. I really don't see this as odd.

No different to a local shop owner who announced on his business insta page with a photo of him and his partner cuddling his new daughter ( face obscured) that he would be closing his shop for two weeks as he would be taking adoption leave after they had adopted a new born many girl ( this was foster to adopt - I know him well as we got chatting and became friends when we realised we were both adopters ( he had one adopted daughter already ) so I knew the process he was going through )

I don't know this women but from what I've watched I've just assumed she has adopted in the UK under foster to adopt and happens to be a Nanny who has become an influencer for baby products.

@Ponderingwindow it's hard to know what is in the nest interest for babies born into this situation but the adults and professionals involved have to go through the correct process.

In my DDs case it would have been totally wrong to just immediately decide to send her to an adoptive family because now at the age of 15 she needs to know that people took care and time on deciding her future.

She was born.

Birth mum disappeared from the hospital and was never seen again.

Efforts had to be made to trace her and failing that they then had to trace the extended birth family.

They had to find out if there was a father on the scene and then possibly assess him to see if he could keep her.

Then her medical needs had to be assessed so that whoever adopted her would know exactly what they were getting into.

Then the adoptive family of her birth siblings were contacted and assessed for placement with them.

This assessment failed due to problems within the marriage.

Only then could they look for another family to place her with.

We were matched with her and we then went through a three month matching process before we were finally able to bring her home.

Then we had another 6 months for the adoption to be signed off by the court.

I don't see how this could have been managed any quicker.

Our ds was 8 months when he came home. That year there were apparently 80 children under the age of 1 to be placed. He's a teen now. So yes, I would say a newborn being adopted, without a prior foster to adopt, is rare.

Several years ago I knew a couple who adopted a baby soon after birth. They had adopted the baby's birth sibling two years earlier and when the second baby was due were contacted to consider adopting him/her as they were being removed at birth due to substance abuse etc. No idea how usual that is.

They may have taken the baby under FFA from birth and it may have been short care proceedings if the LA were asking for adoption from the off but even that would be 3/4 months at a minimum and likely longer as birth parents often contest such care plans even if they have no chance of success (and so they should)

I don't know this women but from what I've watched I've just assumed she has adopted in the UK under foster to adopt and happens to be a Nanny who has become an influencer for baby products.

Forgive my ignorance but if it was foster to adopt would they be sharing about the baby online?

It seems odd to share with her followers if it's not actually official, which is why I suspect it's surrogacy rather than adoption. If it was FTA it could be months / a year before the baby is officially adopted, and there's also a very real possibility of the baby being returned to the birth parents.

I wager she's adopted from outside the uk. If it's a British adoption or foster to adopt they wouldn't let her post baby on sm

And yes adoption from birth as in actually getting the adoption order from the court at birth isn't even a thing legally.

There is no personhood in the uk until birth and most plo cases take 6 months to conclude.

Babies are not 'removed at birth' I can't stand this expression. Babies are removed by court order upon discharge from hospital. Even very high risk babies remain on the ward with their mothers even if constant supervision is required until they are ready to be discharged from hospital.

That’s true and even when they are babies LA’s often have a strict idea of who they will give them to for adoption or fostering. Locally you can only get a baby under 1 if one parent is at home and that caring parent is under 30. This tends to mean couples with large age gaps and is discriminatory but as most adopted babies then turn out to have SEN or SN it makes sense that the caring parent is as young and fit as possible.

She does specifically mention adoption though. And there’s an adoption hashtag on it. (Of course!) She doesn’t really show the baby though.

There are three babies in our adoption group, all were removed by court order well before they were discharged from hospital. I imagine it varies by area, especially in busier areas. None were with their birth mothers once born.

How old roughly is the child now? Do they have any issues relating to the substance misuse they were exposed to in utero? Or other issues?

@Whinge the same reason why I posted on social media about my DC when they were placed with me. Although technically they were not officially adopted until 6 months after they were placed with me I was their mother from the moment they came to our home and as such I was free to make decisions about what I could safely share on social media.

Influencers having/buying/adopting a baby for content purposes is so common, particularly in America.

There was a Youtube family a couple of years ago that actually cancelled a planned adoption from Thailand I think (already matched with the child!) when they found Thailand had a law against using newly placed children for social media content. They actually made a video saying that was the whole point of the adoption for them so they'd rather pull out and leave the baby in an orphanage than end up with a child they couldn't film for Youtube.

Having watched the announcement video/baby product ad I think it must be a foster-to-adopt scenario as she only showed glimpses of the baby's hands and nothing identifying.

From a content perspective it doesn't hugely make a difference if the baby returns to birth parents as that will then provide more content for social media eg 'heartbreaking adoption journey update' vids.