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Original poster

Is it rare to adopt a newborn ?

104 replies

Mozzarellapie · 12/07/2023 22:34

I have always heard it’s rare to adopt a newborn in the U.K for various reasons . Haven’t thought much more about it till I saw a post today on IG where someone has adopted a newborn baby and it just made me think maybe it’s more common now ?

OP posts:
Jellycatspyjamas · 13/07/2023 07:09

A newborn might be removed from birth mum into foster care, which may be a foster to adopt placement but legally adoption is a process that takes time to complete. So a newborn may be living with their intended adoptive parents but won’t yet be adopted.

Weal · 13/07/2023 07:10

I don’t think you can even legally sign to relinquish a baby until 6 weeks. Or certainly that’s what it was a decade ago.

WilkinsonM · 13/07/2023 07:11

Weal · 13/07/2023 07:10

I don’t think you can even legally sign to relinquish a baby until 6 weeks. Or certainly that’s what it was a decade ago.

No you can't. And 6 weeks would be the minimum, in the case I was involved with it took a lot longer than that

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Families
Original poster
Mozzarellapie · 13/07/2023 07:15

Questionsforyou · 13/07/2023 05:40

Nanny louenna?

Yes, I follow and do like her but something felt ‘off’ with the post and I can’t put my finger on it , it was like an advert for baby equipment ?

OP posts:
loislovesstewie · 13/07/2023 07:20

It was much more common for newborns to be adopted in the past.
Now we have;
abortion.
the welfare state so we financially support single parents.
many local authorities have schemes whereby is lone/young parents are struggling they can access units where support is given. If that is successful they are then offered housing.
the social stigma of being 'an unmarried mother' no longer exists.
So, we now have a situation where mothers don't feel forced into giving up newborns for adoption.That has resulted in older children, where the parents can't cope or have died, being the children who need care, and often social services look to the wider family at first to provide that care.
So, yes, I think it is much rarer than when I was young.

Beseen22 · 13/07/2023 07:37

I have two friends who have adopted.

1st one I think did foster to adopt, there was definitely an extended period of time where they had the baby at home to care for but things could be called off at any time until the adoption went through and she became their child. The hardest part was the first 2 weeks when she was born addicted to heroin and in high level care in hospital. The birth mother would not visit the baby and would not allow her now parents to visit the baby.

My other friend adopted a 1 year old and went through a tough time waiting for it to go through. The day after it went through they called and said the birth mother had had another child who she couldn't safely care for and would they be able to take him (I'm assuming fostering until the adoption went through?) So she went from no children at home to 2 with very different needs in a matter of days. Plus then she was dreading getting the same phonecall because she doesn't feel like she could say no to her children's sibling but knows how difficult it is when the children both have significant additional needs and doesn't want to overstretch herself.

Nowdontmakeamess · 13/07/2023 07:57

I agree, it’s become so common and there is nothing to protect the children. I think there will be a huge backlash when they grow up and realise their private lives were shown to strangers for £££.

Zola1 · 13/07/2023 07:58

No because newborn babies are usually placed with foster carers. On the rare occasion they're placed with concurrent carers, the carers are still fostering them until the placement order is made (usually 26 weeks in court but can be quicker if parents are already completely ruled out). Then they would be prospective adopters for 11+ weeks as they can't apply for an adoption order yet. Then they have go wait for an adoption hearing. It all takes ages.
Babies who are relinquished can't be placed with concurrent carers until 6 weeks have passed. So no, essentially nobody gets a newborn to adopt unless it were done privately

Im99912 · 13/07/2023 07:59

I was adopted at 6 weeks old
my adopted sister was 8 weeks old
this was a long time ago though

Original poster
Mozzarellapie · 13/07/2023 08:00

Zola1 · 13/07/2023 07:58

No because newborn babies are usually placed with foster carers. On the rare occasion they're placed with concurrent carers, the carers are still fostering them until the placement order is made (usually 26 weeks in court but can be quicker if parents are already completely ruled out). Then they would be prospective adopters for 11+ weeks as they can't apply for an adoption order yet. Then they have go wait for an adoption hearing. It all takes ages.
Babies who are relinquished can't be placed with concurrent carers until 6 weeks have passed. So no, essentially nobody gets a newborn to adopt unless it were done privately

Maybe the baby is older than newborn then , but not by much, I just had heard so often it’s so rare to adopt a newborn but as mentioned it could be foster to adopt. I was just curious. I just felt a little uneasy as it seemed a bit like an ad for stuff alongside an announcement

OP posts:
burnoutbabe · 13/07/2023 08:02

Upandonward · 12/07/2023 22:44

A friend met her future DS in the neonatal unit when he was two weeks old and fostered him until the adoption went through when he was just over a year old. It was a new process in their area called something like foster-to-adoption. The baby was removed from the birth parents in the hospital and I think was the third or fourth child they had had removed and adopted (due to drug addiction).

Yep same as a family member.

Rare though -it would be more for families who they know they will remove kids from at birth (which is rare)

ClairDeLaLune · 13/07/2023 08:03

Could it have been surrogacy rather than adoption?

Lynseylou1 · 13/07/2023 08:04

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

baby's are not stolen at birth - ot is extremely hard to get a judge to grant removal at birth for a new born baby and they will only do so if there are serious concerns and there are no other options such as a mum and baby unit.

Original poster
Mozzarellapie · 13/07/2023 08:06

ClairDeLaLune · 13/07/2023 08:03

Could it have been surrogacy rather than adoption?

I have no idea it’s just said #adoptionjourney . My first thought was just ‘oh a newborn adoption in the U.K. ??’ Then i rewatched it and felt a sense of this is just like an advert for baby equipment?

OP posts:
WilkinsonM · 13/07/2023 08:08

It would be unthinkable for someone to show the face of a young baby they were adopting on social media. Did she show the face? It just wouldn't be allowed. As an assessed foster carer/adopter she would know this and it just couldn't happen. So if she's showing the face then it's not adoption/foster to adopt unless the baby is old enough that the adoption has gone through already. In which case she's not breaching anything just being a twat.

Whinge · 13/07/2023 08:10

I just felt a little uneasy as it seemed a bit like an ad for stuff alongside an announcement

I've just watched the video and had the same feeling as you. It seemed heavily focused on the brands.

The baby does seem to be a newborn in the video so I would be surprised if it was adoption, I wonder if it was surrogacy but she decided to claim it was adoption as she didn't want any criticism.

Icannot · 13/07/2023 08:11

ClairDeLaLune · 13/07/2023 08:03

Could it have been surrogacy rather than adoption?

This was my first thought when I saw the post on Instagram. Obviously as previous posters have said, she could be fostering first. But the baby is very clearly newborn so this was my first thought, given that the baby is shown and all of the product placement.

Original poster
Mozzarellapie · 13/07/2023 08:14

Whinge · 13/07/2023 08:10

I just felt a little uneasy as it seemed a bit like an ad for stuff alongside an announcement

I've just watched the video and had the same feeling as you. It seemed heavily focused on the brands.

The baby does seem to be a newborn in the video so I would be surprised if it was adoption, I wonder if it was surrogacy but she decided to claim it was adoption as she didn't want any criticism.

I almost feel bad for thinking it as I’ve followed her a while but this just didn’t seem quite right ? I think I should just unfollow and mind my own business maybe

OP posts:
ThatFraggle · 13/07/2023 08:15

WilkinsonM · 13/07/2023 08:08

It would be unthinkable for someone to show the face of a young baby they were adopting on social media. Did she show the face? It just wouldn't be allowed. As an assessed foster carer/adopter she would know this and it just couldn't happen. So if she's showing the face then it's not adoption/foster to adopt unless the baby is old enough that the adoption has gone through already. In which case she's not breaching anything just being a twat.

Newborn babies all look the same though, pretty much. Unless there's a birthmark or something. Winston Churchill potatoes.

StillWantingADog · 13/07/2023 08:18

I think (healthy) newborns are very rarely given up for adoption

older children with difficulties far more common.

Original poster
Mozzarellapie · 13/07/2023 08:20

WilkinsonM · 13/07/2023 08:08

It would be unthinkable for someone to show the face of a young baby they were adopting on social media. Did she show the face? It just wouldn't be allowed. As an assessed foster carer/adopter she would know this and it just couldn't happen. So if she's showing the face then it's not adoption/foster to adopt unless the baby is old enough that the adoption has gone through already. In which case she's not breaching anything just being a twat.

The face wasn’t shown

OP posts:
Simonjt · 13/07/2023 08:24

Yes and no, even when a baby is placed as a new born, the adoption won’t actually be finalised for quite a long time. We met our daughter before she was discharged from hospital, her adoption was finalised eleven months later, which is actually very quick for a child of that age. To put it in perspective, our son was around 18 months old when he came home, he was almost four when his was finalised.

In the UK babies removed at birth are usually babies with a birth parent who has previously had a child removed and they haven’t changed their behaviour etc. When this happens and the birth family aren’t suited to care for the baby usually the three options are foster care, foster to adopt, or the parents of any older siblings are approached (often before the baby is even born) to see if they express an interest in caring for the baby with the intention of adoption.

Sycasmores · 13/07/2023 08:24

@SemperIdem What utter rot. It is not a money making business in the US! Jesus wept. The anti-American sentiment on here is just nuts sometimes.

Hollyppp · 13/07/2023 08:26

loislovesstewie · 13/07/2023 07:20

It was much more common for newborns to be adopted in the past.
Now we have;
abortion.
the welfare state so we financially support single parents.
many local authorities have schemes whereby is lone/young parents are struggling they can access units where support is given. If that is successful they are then offered housing.
the social stigma of being 'an unmarried mother' no longer exists.
So, we now have a situation where mothers don't feel forced into giving up newborns for adoption.That has resulted in older children, where the parents can't cope or have died, being the children who need care, and often social services look to the wider family at first to provide that care.
So, yes, I think it is much rarer than when I was young.

This hits the nail on the head, we have lots of older children in the care system and less young babies.

Thosepeskyseagulls · 13/07/2023 08:32

SunRainStorm · 13/07/2023 03:57

I don't think people should be allowed to monetise social media content involving any child, let alone an adopted one.

It's absolutely sick when people flaunt their adopted children for likes and attention on social media.

I can see your point, but wouldn’t that mean children shouldn’t be allowed to participate in any commercial advertising at all?