How to restart career and social life when I have no confidence

[standingdesk]

I’m 28. I’m stuck in a not great job and would like a new career. The only issue is I’m coming out of a low period where I ended up on ADs and have no confidence. I moved home after university for various reasons and was quite low then, things picked up a little but then there was the pandemic. I lost my job and ended up moving in with a relative with LDs when her situation changed because of Covid. It’s been a battle to get the right help for her and that combined with not working for a time and becoming very isolated meant that my mental health which wasn’t very robust really took a turn. I am on ADs now and feeling better and my relative is much more settled and I really want to make a positive change and change what I work in. But I’m really struggling to sell myself when I don’t feel at all confident and I’m up against these young grads who are all fresh-faced. I’m trying to reconnect with friends and just have nothing to talk about, my world has become so small and they have weddings and travel plans etc. Has anyone got any advice? Apart from just to get a grip. I know that I do, I just feel I have this inner voice saying “of course they wouldn’t want to hire you” all the time.

Start on your confidence and friendships. Start asking friends to go to things, you don’t need to have other things to talk about because you’ll be enjoying the event you’re at. If you get asked to go somewhere say yes as much as possible. Start a hobby out of the house and meet new people. Set yourself a personal challenge if you can eg run a 10k next year and work on it, or read a book a week, or visit a new place each week. Start doing things you can talk about. You build confidence by living and doing, it doesn’t come to you, you have to go and get it.

I meant to add. Volunteer somewhere it’ll look great on your CV and it’ll increase your skills.

Once you’ve build your confidence a bit then look at your career. Don’t compare yourself to others just do the best you can. Don’t feel rushed, it might take a while to get there you want to be but it will be worth it.

I was 45 and had to change careers from something very physical, to office work (which I hadn't done in decades).

I did a refresher course in Office 365 (free) signed up for a skills boot camp (also free in my case, check for yours), slapped those on my CV and just went for it? My viewpoint was "the interviews are just to get interview experience" and keeping that in mind I didn't stress too much. I had an offer in a sector I was interested in within weeks.

If you want to travel, organise that yourself. With a tour group if you don't want to go alone.

You might have outgrown your friends? I don't get invited to many "big" events (mostly because my friends know I would rather fry my own eyeballs than go to a wedding) but we still spend time together one on one/just us and our kids throughout the year and reconnect when we have funny stories to tell if we've lapsed a bit.

It's all too easy to say "do what makes you happy" but generally if "what makes you happy" doesn't involve mowing kittens with a combine harvester then you should probably go for it. 😀