How to refuse plus one

[Sundaychiller]

We are hosting a big birthday party next month and one of our friends has asked if she can bring her adult DD (by text). Now this girl is extremely hard work and always has to take centre stage. Neither me or DH want her there but how can we refuse kindly?

Just say sorry we are limited on numbers.

Venue capacity or catering often state numbers of people

"Hi, we've had to limit numbers so we can't have an extra. So sorry, hope you can still come"

“Sorry, we are already at capacity and are having to be really strict on numbers.”

I wouldn’t say anything else. You don’t have to waffle, it’s your party.

Sorry we don't have capacity for extra people - ill let you know if that changes

"Unofrtunately our numbers are filled and we cannot accomodate her."

End of discussion, dont entertain 'buts' and 'what ifs'.

If your friend tries to protest, again, say firmly, 'Debbie, I already told you we can't add another person to the guest list.'

If she pouts and says well in that case she's not coming either, say 'I'm really sorry to hear that. We would have loved to spend the evening with you. But thanks for letting me know you cant make it, we'll catch up some other time.'

You know what you want, dont sacrifice a lovely evening out of that awful weak feeling of not wanting to upset someone else or hurt their feelings! In that case you end up spoiling the evening for yourself. Of course the best option would be to be able to say to her, "Debbie youre a great friend but your daughter is hard work and I really dont want her at my party." .... but I understand these things can get hugely awkward and cause offence when you care for your friend.

@Lobelia123 thanks that sums up my feelings perfectly, I will bite the bullet and refuse

Good luck SundayChiller....hope the party is great fun :)

@Lobelia123 thank you. She has read my reply but not answered!