I feel like I can't enjoy life. I have this constant feeling that something bad is going to happen, it's there all of the time. I can't enjoy my toddler, my house, my nice life because I feel any minute now it is all going to come crashing down around me.
I wish I could fast forward to the future for a second and see that things turn out ok. That I do have a pension and a secure future. That my baby turns out ok and doesn't hate me. That my marriage survives. And then I could come back and relax and enjoy things knowing it all works out in the end.
I know this isn't possible but I just feel so bloody miserable all of the time. It doesn't help every major life event I have had feels like it has had some crisis- graduated in a recession and really struggled to get my feet on the ground in work that really hit my confident hard, tried to get married but covid hit, had a baby and literally the next day Russia invaded Ukraine then cost of living crisis hit and we were struggling over the winter for paying for heating while I was on mat leave. Now our mortgage is due for renewal and looking like going up £££ that we just don't have.
Does anyone else feel like this? Any magic solutions for me?