Does anyone else get to the point where they think going on holiday is more trouble than it’s worth?

[Rainallnight]

Happens to be every single time.

The laundry, the lists, the ordering of stuff, the packing and planning, the trying to get all the work done.

We’re lucky to be going on holiday and I know we’ll have a nice time but there does come a point when I feel like the holiday prep is longer than the actual holiday.

OMFG exactly!
Of course the holiday destinations themselves need to make money. And my presence adds to the crowds too, but...
The level of organisation needed to do anything good (otherwise you get stuck in a queue) is madness.
Otherwise things need pre-booking with no leeway at all for lateness (as a tourist you're bound to get lost!)
There are few quaint secret spots to 'discover', everything has been broadcasted by various influencers to within an inch of its life.

I don't find it 'relaxing' at all. We do one abroad (going to close countries can be cheaper than UK travel actually) and the rest relaxing close to home. There are many beautiful things to see near us anyway

i did when DC were small and holidays were in ill-equipped damp cottages in rain drenched, overpriced tourist sinkholes in Devon and Wales.

Then DH and I had some frank discussions about whether DC could 'cope' with travelling abroad (for DC read DH!) We switched to sunny holidays in clean airbnbs with dishwashers. And DC grew up. Then I loved them.

Yes every year.

We always get sorted but DH tends to work right up to the 11th hour whilst having control freak tendencies with packing. = we always argue over different packing approaches

And yes all the stuff I feel needs to be done before as you have listed. It can feel overwhelming but if I try and approach things with a list and not piss time away on MN I feel more able to manage.

Top tip I had from here to avoid overpacking was to actually plan every outfit. As I'm also a bit of a control freak I take this one step further and take a photo.
That way I can make sure every item is being worn at least twice therefore don't take loads of things I don't end up wearing.

I think as well were perhaps out of the groove coz of covid. I feel like I've forgotten how to pack

Yeah I find holidays stressful which I feel bad about because dp loves them. I've come to accept I'm just a homebird. Plus we have loads of animals so they're a huge thing to sort out before we go away then I spend the whole time worrying about them 🙈

Me!! I’m ADHD too and just can’t understand how people organise it all. It’s so stressful to me. I start to look and within 20 mins have become so stressed and annoyed with myself I give up.

So glad I’ve found my people. Let’s all set up the hot tub or paddling pool in the garden, get a new bead spread and pretend we’re away.

I plan a lot which controls the stress bit and allows the build up to be more enjoyable. A big list, preferably on a board on the wall is really important to convert the stress to excitement.
Planning cruise port excursions is definitely fun, not stressful.

I do have to always properly clean the inside of the fridge before we go (removing the shelves and drawers). I think it is firstly because the fridge is at its emptiest so easier to clean but also being empty really shows up any muck and I have a horror of someone coming in, opening my fridge & finding it dirty.

It’s a faff in the lead up but so worth it. I found packing most things a few days before makes the last day calmer. My kids are 19 and 21 so they can pack for themselves. We always get an apartment with a washing machine. Book restaurants ahead so we don’t wander round while getting hangry. Currently sitting on a balcony overlooking Lake Garda. Have been enjoying delicious food and seeing new cities (Verona and Venice). Just lying on a sun lounger letting my mind wander or reading a great book is such a tonic.

I felt this way when the DC were toddlers. I do enjoy holidays with teens though.

I hate packing the suitcases but the worst part is check in at the airport. Once I’m through checkin and security it’s holiday time.

Love it! Getting packed as we speak😎

I know that, like you, I'm part of the problem but the fact remains that I remember how it used to be - a gentle pace, smiling staff, space to enjoy things, most places were clean and well kept.

Its sad but inevitable with population explosion. Only the 1% can enjoy that kind of experience now (private yachts, private islands, staff etc..)

Yep. It’s better now the kids are bigger but when they were wee it was very much almost not worth the effort, having to be organised for finishing work as well as all the laundry/packing, it was pretty hideous

I feel like this every time we go away and I hate the actual travel. But I always enjoy it once I am there! I think Brexit and Covid have added to my reluctance to travel as everything seems harder work now, plus we've kind of got out of the habit. But I joined DH on a business trip abroad last Autumn, much against my better judgment, and absolutely loved it. I never want to go away but then I don't want to come nsvk once I have done it!

No - but I have always loved travelling, going away (I do have a small panic just before we leave which is to make sure cat sitters are going to come, did i actually book the hotel etc and small things like that - but as soon as I am on train, in taxi to airport, I am thinking ahead of the place i am going to

Oh god this is me!! Not so much about the packing cos we're usually going to DM villa.
Also usually without DH. So my thing is the house because I know full well that when we come home in four weeks anything that I hadn't done will be that plus four weeks worth.
While the kids just worry about how many pairs of shoes they're going to pack.

Almost worse when DH does come because he packs his little bag and works til the eleventh hour.
Every time I say never again!!

Holidays are definitely more stressful than they used to be.

This is partly because we have gone back to our pre-kids type of holiday, with lots of travelling around rather than staying in one place. But, while 20 years ago we'd just book a hotel for the first night and do the other hotels or trains/buses as we went along, everywhere is so busy now that you have to book accommodation in advance or get the dregs/most expensive ones. And you can't just turn up to the Colisseum or Hagia Sophia and walk in - there are massive queues everywhere, so you have to plan your sightseeing and go to the popular places at stupid o'clock.

That's assuming you get there ok and there is no flight delay/cancellation/strike/failure of e-gates... On our last holiday we even struggled to get a taxi to the airport - we hadn't prebooked, and it turned out that postcovid the firms were all superbusy.

I would say if you can and your partner is agreeable try a holiday you want without them. Yes I know in the early years with children this is probably not easy/impossible.
But I think what made our marriage stronger than ever was pursuing our own interests as it gave you something to talk about that you don't already know about?
Also going away individually with your children can be a real bonding experience that gives them more confidence and an appreciation of you as a person in your own right, not just as half of a couple.
As in my case when sadly one of you dies early it helps them as they know you as an independent person?

But yes sometimes the expectation of the ideal family holiday is just such a stressful time both before & during, and then there is all the washing when you get back!!

YES!
Had this revelation last year and really can’t imagine ever wanting to go on holiday abroad again. Prep for last year’s holiday included passport renewals, arranging accommodation, travel insurance, flights, airport parking, car hire, COVID fit to fly cert for DS, cat sitter, packing & shopping. Flights delayed both ways. Cost extortionate. Throw in a DH who seems hell bent on adding stress and complication at every possible opportunity and I’d happily stay at home, preferably on my own with a week’s supply of gin & chocolate.

Having a UK break this year, hoping it will all be less stressful. We shall see.

Honest to god, the preparation kills me! Then being there, walking miles to get to a beach, walking miles to get to a restaurant, people I’m with (relatives) telling me how great it is when I’m just gasping to sit out of the heat. Never again! I just can’t understand staying somewhere for a week or more unless there’s loads to do. Give me a nice car and a 1000 mile road trip and I’m your woman. Otherwise, no thanks.

@Cherrysoup

"Give me a nice car and a 1000 mile road trip and I’m your woman. Otherwise, no thanks."

I did 3500 miles last summer in my Porsche on a road trip on my own and it was mostly bloody fantastic, it was a bit hot mind as it was during the heatwave so the air-con was deployed rather a lot and not so much of the roof down!

Yes. One of the better things about lockdown was no going away. I'm not sure we'll ever take a fortnight's foreign holiday again. Short city breaks with an overnight bag are def. preferable.

I felt this a bit while away this year which I feel really sad about as I've travelled the world and it used to be a great passion of mine but the stress of travelling with young kids means I don't really relax. My kids are a great age for holidays and love it but I do all the organising, planning and general thinking on holiday although DH does get stuck in too. I sometimes wonder if the cost was worth it when I'm home.

I'm at that point right now. Getting up at 3.30am for an early flight and I haven't even put anything in the case now. It's mostly folded an in the packing cubes but there's still so much to remember! I haven't done my toiletries either. Still got to water the plants. Gah!

Two things which help me:

Holiday mostly in the UK, I can't be bothered with the faff of airports and flights.

Have a complete set of clothes for holidays (we tend to do a particular activity rather than just go somewhere) right down to pants and socks. When we get home I do the laundry and pack it all again ready for next time. Same with washbag etc.