Disney dad

[Generalstuff]

So 2 boys are 7 and 8 years old . They go to their dad's every other weekend.

I know this sounds stupid . But he spoils them. Never says no . Buys them everything they want . The other day he paid 5.00 each fir a packet of crisps . He does loads of stuff with then. Example: day 1. could be . Morning it could be swimming , then eat out for dinner, then soft play. Day 2) may be cinema, beach ,eat out, play in arcades and sea side rides,

I suppose I'm kind of jealous and feel like I'm the crap parent, I have less money than him, I have other children and I don't drive l. So it means I have to pay more on train fares takes more to organise. I can't say yes to stuff all the time. I can't take them out how he does . And now im starting to get the "well daddy let's us" "daddy does " I know they don't really understand , but I still feel shit.

Not sure if this is relevant or not. But he does not really have responsibilities as such. He lives with his mum, she does everything. Cooks all the meals washing etc. If his mum does not cook he gets take away or they eat out . He has never cooked them a meal.

Sorry I'm just sounding of. But what can I say to my children when they say. Daddy does it, daddy says yes, daddy let's us , etc

Whilst it might sting I think I would focus on the fact that boys have a lovely time with dad and that's the main thing, he's not IMO doing anything particularly out of the ordinary - beech days etc are free, kids cinema pretty cheap.

He has more money, more support and it's not fair but...at least he's spending what he does have with his kids.

And I'd go with mummy and daddy have different rules, different amounts of money but we both love you type response

Where are you that crisp are a fiver??

Daddy does it, daddy says yes, daddy let's us , etc

”Daddys house has Daddy’s rules. Mummy’s house has Mummy’s rules. Just like Mummy lets you do X that Mrs Y doesn’t let you at school - everywhere is different. Right, what are we building with that Lego/putting on Tv/having for a snack now?”

Yes logically I know your right, I'm pleased they have fun. Just don't want ti be thr shit parent in their eyes . I know om not being logic mot really

They are called takies.

I was just about to say Tackies! You can get them for £2.50 per bag! Anyway besides the point. The plus is it takes pressure off of you OP do your DC have bank accounts? Suggest dad saves for them perhaps I would say something if its EOW they are coming home spoilt to the point they are misbehaving for you BUT if not there's not much you can do OP.

They are not being naughty when are back . It's just the comments are a bit hurtful. But I know they don't really know what it all means.

I feel for you. At 8 years old you can gently explain that things cost money, that perhaps they went to X place last week. Just tell them that you and daddy have different circumstances and they have to appreciate what you do just like their dad. I don't have this issue in fact it's the total opposite for me that my DC always wants to do this activity... which I don't mind most of the time other than the constant expense his dad literally does no activities other than football EOW. So try not to take their comments to heart it isn't a competition.

They don't really understand things like that. It's the summer holidays coming up so to be honest we will be doing things then so maybe. They will slow down on saying things a bit .

I agree with another poster I would focus on the fact they have a nice time with their dad. My doesn't see our children and they feel rejected sometimes I wish he was a Disney dad who spoiled them

It must be really hard, but you are there for all the little things. He may treat them to big things, but it's all the little things that add up and mean the most.

Kids are not very good at showing they appreciate the little things but you as their main caregiver will be their security and the one who they know will be there always. You will be the one they want when they've had a bad day at school or feel unwell.

I wouldn't try and compete for days out but maybe do something that is special with you and them they can look forward to each week? Maybe a film night with popcorn and a treat dinner. Or we've done silly drawing competitions, putting the disco light on and dance around, play games together on the switch (they love this as I'm rubbish so they always win 🤣), baking. It doesn't need to cost anything, just spending time is the most important thing!

Your totally right , I have always told myself that the relationship they have with him is different to what they have with me. Yes he spoils them over the top. Of course they love their dad dearly and I would not ever want that to be Any different. But they talk to me more and tell me their little worries. And feelings. Which will change as they get older.

And I agree not to get onto a competition with him. I never realised that's what I was saying till you pointed it out. And your right.

He needs to go to farmfoods, half the price there. Flash harry, stuff him, he is bring you down, hate these men.

What do you do with them on tour weekends?

you cannot change his behaviour. You can only control yours.

They'll soon realise. I had similar. Then when ds was about 13 he said something about his dad being amazing.

I simply said
How many swimming lessons has he taken you to?
How many doctor and hospital appointment?
How many parents evenings?
How many school uniform or shoe shops
How many times has he looked after you poorly.

He said umm. None!

I said exactly, cant all be fun and laughter. You still needed looking after.

Hes nr 18 now and totally gets it. I did feel bad saying it but i was sick of it.

its probably the Mexican version though, the cheap ones aren’t the original Mexican version they are the Spanish version and are different that’s why they are cheaper 🤷🏻‍♀️

Ffs, the state of the world and this shit matters to people....

I don't think anything harmful was meant.

I wasn’t I was just saying why it’s so expensive!! Jeez this doesn’t “matter” to me but this is probably why he is paying so much for them as the original is the expensive one that’s all I was explaining when someone said why are they so expensive! As a mum of two teen boys I’ve been told they are very different! Believe it or not kids follow a lot of American shows these days so I’m well aware there are two different versions so I was simply pointing out why they were so expensive 🙄 there’s an “original” version and then a version made for Europe that isn’t that’s all!! Like we get the uk “Froot Loops” which are plain colours and the American version which are brightly coloured there’s a difference 💁🏻‍♀️The expensive version is the type you buy in American candy stores explaining the price that’s all!!