Looking for practical advice please. I started a new job a couple of months ago, where I work with two ladies. I’ll call them Lady 1 and Lady 2. Lady 1 is friendly and chatty and happy to share her knowledge. Lady 2 on the other hand was rude from the start. I cover her job lunchtime so I have to talk with her and give updates etc, I find this very distressing as she makes me feel very small and stupid. I am well capable of doing this role, which I think definitely doesn’t help the situation. She shouts my name and orders me to get the door or phone, or something for a customer or work colleague- a number of colleagues have notice this which makes me feel bad, I don’t want to be seen as a walkover. By nature I am quite introverted and not overly confident and I also hate confrontation, it makes me extremely anxious. So I suppose what I’m looking for is some help in how to deal with this situation. I’ve spoken with friends and they have said just say don’t speak to me like that or say please etc. Being honest I don’t think I can be so direct with her, she has a very overpowering personality with me. I am also trying to put my best foot forward in a new job so don’t want her to go to our manager if I do stand up for myself. Thanks for reading.
Summer2424 · 10/07/2023 18:05
Hi @Happytobeeme i have been in this situation a few times in my 29 years of working. I am very hard working, confident at home but for some reason at work i can't be so direct and say anything if something is bothering me or if someone is being nasty to me.
The way i've managed to deal with the situation is be reeeeally nice to the person, omg they hate it! Loads of thank you's, smiley faces on emails.
Give it go if you want to. Hope things get sorted for you xx
dontgobaconmyheart · 10/07/2023 17:40
Have you a line manager you can discuss the issue with? Ask other team members who've noticed what they make of it?
Ultimately whilst in practice it's not always easy I have to say I agree with your friend and would say something along the lines of " Lady 2, I'm sure it isn't intentional but I find the way you allocate a task can on occasion be quite abrupt - eg 'an example ' - I find it uncomfortable. Is there an issue between us that I need to know about? I would really like to feel like I'm getting on with everyone in the team and that I'm doing what I can to fit in here.
If she isn't prepared to discuss it on a mature an open level I would point out that others have noticed too and just politely request that going forward she not shout your name in the way she's been doing and that you hope in time that you will both fall into a rhythm that works.
Realistically if she doesn't like you and it's on purpose OP, she isn't likely to stop regardless, unfortunately. Some people are just like that. It's not your fault.
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