Another spoilt weekend

[Cherryhun]

We planned to run a couple of errands this weekend alongside some short country walks with our 2 Y/O. We've been a bit down since we got back from a great holiday - it was just lovely and all stress seemed to completely disappear so I was really looking forward to this weekend. We've done what we have wanted to do but it's been such hard work.

Of course life with a 2 Y/O can be hard but that's to be expected. It is in fact DP who has made it even harder. I forgot about these stresses we often had before the holiday and he shouts constantly! I've pulled him up on this before and he says it's the only thing that gets DS to do what we ask. This is true but I don't think this is how I want to parent at all, it certainly isn't the way I want DS to deal with problems as he gets older.

What's even more heartbreaking is DS mostly wants to play and spend time with DP over me. When I try to take over, both get cross with me.

I crave a nice slow pace of life and to create a calm atmosphere at home - I feel our current situation isn't conducive to this. Any ideas?

Ohhh poor you! Is DH generally a reasonable sort? If he is, highly recommend you sit down with him when toddler is in bed, and have a good chat with him. Toddlers need endless patience and calm, as you know, but looks like his dad's forgetting!
Deep breaths and not shouting are so worth it in the long run!
It would be interesting to know how DH was parented. If by irritable shouty parents himself, might be worth looking into parenting classes for the pair of you to go to. All the best!

My shouty DH never changed. It was a constant source of disagreements. We even nearly divorced as I couldn’t stand the shouty way he was with DS.
Maybe if I had left DS wouldn’t now be a shouty teen.
It’s learned behaviour unfortunately.
Don’t get me wrong, DH & DS adore each other and have lots of fun together too, but the slightest upset and they roar. I hate it.

‘Give me a child until he is seven and I will show you the man.’

Thank you for the responses 🙂

Tried to approach it this evening. He's very good at listening and helping me when I'm down but I feel I can't return the favour. Asked him if he's found the weekend quite tricky to which he said yes. I asked why and he mentioned his temper. I tried to ask more follow up questions but was met with shrugging 'don't knows'. I thought for a minute and suggested it was a shame because it seems to make him feel rubbish. He just said he didn't want to be like that and I asked if I could help. He just said he didn't think so.

Truthfully, I got fed up of prodding with little response so I left it alone.

I only recently got a job with every weekend off with the aim of us all spending more time together and now I wonder if that was worth doing.

‘How To Talk So Kids Will Listen And Listen So Kids Will Talk’

and

‘The Book You Wish Your Parents Had Read’

Your DP should make them his bedtime reading.