Children and screens

[Librarybooklover]

So fed up with managing my children’s screen addiction and feel like I am just letting them down. I let my 2 children aged 9 and 12 watch tv or kids tube in the morning(usually an hour). In the afternoon they are allowed 2 hours tablet or phone time (12 year old has a phone).

This morning we went swimming then came home for lunch. The youngest then mopes about and annoys everyone because they are bored and can’t think of anything to do. The eldest isn’t so bad and will go and read but she will obsessively ask what time it is because she wants it to be screen time! They are so addicted it’s all they ever want to do. If I let them they would be on it all day.

I wish I was stronger and didn’t let them have screens at all because I think I would actually be doing them a favour. At the moment I am just controlling and limiting the addiction. I also like screen time myself so would feel like a hypocrite to say they can never have it.

If we go out for the day they seem to forget about screens and enjoy themselves. In reality I can’t (and don’t want to) do things all the time to keep them occupied. I want them to try and be comfortable with out constant entertainment and able to amuse themselves. It’s also not so much about time spent on screens but the fact that the desire to do it all the time seems to control them. I hate it!

Is the good intentioned micro management making it more of a forbidden fruit for them?

for ds I found that when I relaxed a bit more about it after a few weeks of lots of use he began regulating things himself a lot more

Maybe? I think they would happily spend all day on screens. A lot of their friends are alway online apart from when they are doing homework or out.

Just encourage the screens and limit the reading and watch the dynamic change as they beg you for reading time.

Kids don’t have screen addictions they have normal human reactions to restriction from pleasurable educational activities.

I know this is a bit older, but I have just noticed it! I feel like I could have written it about my DC!

How are things going now OP, especially with the wet weather?

@Allthescreens sorry for slow reply, tbh it just as bad as always. I still limit their screen time and they still nag to have it earlier. The youngest one constantly complains when she has to entertain herself and generally drives me crazy! However I am making my peace with it and resisting giving any extra screen time. My only hope is that when they are older they will be used to not being on screens the majority of the day.

What do you do with them or encourage them to do if not using screen time. I find when I am knackered I rely ok screens to entertain the kids bit really I should be doing more or encouraging the kids to do more. E.g my youngest loves baking, painting and playing out with friends (appreciate not everyone lives somewhere safe enough for this). It's so hard.

Unpopular but I never limited screen time. As long as homework and chores were done, his sleep or schoolwork weren't being affected and he didn't develop a bad attitude.

I think I had too much screen time as a teen (and probably as a child too tbh as I was for example a pretty sendentary child and that's had a lifelong impact on me I think). I wasn't micromanaged and I was unable/unwilling to self-regulate. Overall think it was harmful for me and I would say I didn't really grow the tools I needed to step away and focus more on the real world until I went away to uni at almost 19. I was with DH by then too and think he helped and was a good influence in that regard and interestingly he was brought up with much stricter rules about screen time!

I can believe some children aren't so interested and/or can regulate the time themselves but I think this is a minority of children.

@WonderingWanda well my older child is fine and will read if not on screens (if I didn’t limit the screens she definitely would never choose books over screens).

My youngest is harder. Generally on the weekend I am happy to do around half a day’s activities with them. Sometimes we go out but if at home we will do baking or play board games. Even with that that there will be time in the day without screen time or activities that needs to be filled. It’s basically then just holding my ground and saying no to extra screen time!

She will finally relent and go and listen to music or something. The reality is I usually have boring things to do like housework so need to spend a portion of the day getting on with stuff. Plus I think that a 9 year old should be able to entertain herself.

@WeightoftheWorld same! I watched way too much tv as a child and neglected my school work. I wish my parents had been stricter and pushed me to learn how to study. My partner is so good at focusing on tasks. He went to private school and had prep time at school where he did all his homework.

I wish I was someone who could naturally focus and use my time sensibly but I am not. Even now I always go into the office to work as if I was at home I wouldn’t do it!