How to age well

[TinTinCheeseHat]

Like many of us, I'm struggling with elderly parents with loads of health conditions. It has made me very aware of my own aging and wanting to stay as strong and healthy as possible.

There have been some really great posts recently from people in their 60s and 70s who are in great shape. Can we share some ideas of how to do this?

I know much of it is obvious about eating well, exercising, not smoking etc, but just feel I need some positive stories of aging well. And I'm not talking about superficial stuff, we're all going to get wrinkly, I mean staying strong as long as possible. Can you tell me positive stories of your healthy and active relatives to give me a bit of hope?

ExMil started being "old" when she was not much older than I am now (52) and from what I hear, it's only got worse, she does hardly anything any more, and her mind has got quite random, for want of a better word. OTOH, DM has only been "old" since the lockdowns which coincided with DFs health issues.

I'm doing what I can to stave off being old, I started a new job earlier this year which has needed a LOT of brain power to get to grips with, I interact lots with younger people rather than just people of my own age and older, and am open to as many new experiences as I can fit in. Plus HRT, omega 3 and vit D supplements, and a rowing machine (that I really need to get back onto regularly).

My grandad is 92 and has always been good for his age - his advice is retire as early as you can and relax.

I'm doing what I can to stave off being old, I started a new job earlier this year which has needed a LOT of brain power to get to grips with

I semi retired a couple of years ago (management pissing me off big time) but am looking to go back to work sometime this year. Extra money and mental challenge mostly, plus the feeling that 69 is just a bit too young to wind down.

I'm late 40s, have been doing Pilates for the last 18 months having always been ridiculously inflexible. I now find it noticeably easier to paint my toe nails & wash my feet & get up from the floor. When I used to try and touch my toes, my hands would be just below my knees, now they are getting towards my ankles.
I've also been doing weight training and find I get off the sofa in a different way and can hold and lift things differently.
I am very glad I have started doing this now and often think to myself "this will be handy in the old people's home"

I've also been doing weight training and find I get off the sofa in a different way and can hold and lift things differently

I use hand held weights and even after a few weeks can tell the difference with things like lifting a heavy shopping bag or basket.

I am very glad I have started doing this now and often think to myself "this will be handy in the old people's home" 😄You'll be the one they call on to unscrew jars and lift things down from shelves.

My mum is 85, my PIL 83 and 90. They do have various health issues and I think at one point it's difficult to avoid.

But, I am really glad about their mental health. They are all readers, watch current affairs news, have friends they meet, go out on walks.
My mum especially loves crosswords and I think that has a lot to do that her mind is sharp and a quick thinker. We don't have to do anything for them in way of practicalities like some of my friends do like helping with banking, utiliites, admin stuff.

There is some deterioration, but again, I think to a certain degree that's normal.

I'm working in a stressful but very rewarding job, which gives me autonomy and independence. It has a good balance of working on my own, ad working with others. I'm highly valued for my expertise and mentor junior colleagues.

That's in addition to never having smoked, being physically very active, and generally having the intelligence to think my way through tricky situations.

In my job, I"m always learning, and so I have an enquiring attitude & stay open to new ideas & experiences.

It also helps that I"m paid pretty well. Not mega - I only made "six figures" at age 63 - but I'm well off, and live in a nice place.

Lots of gentle movement.

Rest well. Conserving energy is no bad thing.

are all snippets of advice I don’t take.

Well as you say you know it requires keeping active and eating well. But also being involved. With family, society and other interests (it doesn't have to involve people of you are not that way inclined). People who's lives are beyond their four walls - even if that means a passion for gardening.

Apart from my grandad who died of throat cancer at 75 (lifelong smoker) all my other grandparents lived to 88/89/and 90 completely fine and only declining in their last few months...they all had in common a Mediterranean diet/active part of the community/plenty of fresh air/kept active - allotment/walking to the market/visiting relatives etc.

Wow, some great advice on here and glad it is useful for others. Definitely some stuff for me to take on board, especially the yoga / pilates suggestions. I've just started strength training again, just at home with weights but forgot how much I enjoyed it.
The social stuff seems key, I am a massive introvert and can do without people for the most part, but that's choice at the moment. So perhaps I need to be careful not to isolate myself too much as I may need people further down the line....

Also, @VeronicaBeccabunga just to say how much I love your name. I've just planted some in my pond and the name is fabulous. Veronica should be a TV detective.

The people I know that have aged physically well have always been active not sofa sitters. Always pottering in the garden or finding little jobs to do. My DF who is 84 still keeps a large ish garden and grows loads of veg.
He notices after the winter how he has lost some of that movement as he is not outside as much.
However my lovely DM who was slim and doing about lots of exercise passed away at 77 after a stroke as she had higher blood pressure.
But if we are talking about a better "older age" she had that through keeping fit and slim and socialising.

I can only give you a negative example, I’m afraid. My mum is 75, and I’ve watched her go from a healthy, active, “late middle age” three years ago to a little old lady terrifyingly quickly. And I think the key factors are:

• an initially minor knee problem has led to her ditching all exercise, and she has very quickly developed a whole catalogue of health niggles.
• her social life has almost disappeared as well, as a lot of it was based around walking groups, going to pilates with her friends etc
• she finds it too much effort to leave the house, so instead of nipping to the shops every day, having a coffee while she’s out, etc, she now stays at home
• she is extremely reluctant to do anything she has decided is “not for old people”. This includes using computers and going online, although she used to do both quite happily, so anything that needs to be researched/booked/arranged/paid for online is now beyond her self-imposed limits

Basically, the less she does, the less she thinks she can do, and the smaller and more constrained her life becomes. I used to think she’d be one of those women still dashing around well into her 90s. I don’t now. She has given up, and it’s going to hugely shorten her life. Don’t give up.

Do something new/acquire new skills, frequently.

It all seems to come down to a balanced diet and moving as much as possible. Moving, moving, moving.

I would say good diet, but of exercise and keeping your brain active are the things from looking at my parents/grandparents

Use it or lose it, but at the same time don't overdo it ... I understand that motor neurone disease is more common in people who exercise to very high levels.

I think it's all been covered, but keeping active in mind and body will help enormously.

I’m in my late 60’s, I swear by yoga, walking and wine!

To add to the above, keep doing different things. I think this may have been Michael Moseley? So do different routes on your usual walk, even if it's just doing it the other way round. Go to different supermarkets to your usual one. I try to cook different things each week - even if it's just a different salad or dressing at this time of year. I enjoyed Venice last autumn and tempted to go back but I think I may go to Vienna instead.
I'm thinking I may try different book genres too rather than being in a rut of the same types.
I think he said even brushing teeth with brush in other hand?

I agree with the PP who mentioned about 'acting' old - i have two female relatives who are 69/70. One is lively, independent, active social life, interested in people and stuff. The other often refers to herself as a wee old pensioner, no social life, set in her ways, fairly inactive. She deems a decade or more older than the other.

Me, I'm trying to get into a good exercise regime and focussing on strength and flexibility, and trying to enjoy life.

I think it's 80% genes.
Having children late in life means having teenagers and uni students well into your 60s, this keeps you young. Even older in the case of DH who is a very fit and mentally sharp 75 year old.
The rest is all as people have said but start in your twenties.
I hit 58 and hit a catalogue of health problems, some chronic, some resolved. In spite of that I feel I have a younger outlook than my late parents or inlaws.

Thank you!
I agree about the TV detective.
Many years ago I had a goldfish with this name as I thought it was magnificent and very much needed to use it :-D